Yo, wanna join dis epic Minecraft server? We got internet speeds so fast, you’ll gain weight just by logging on! According to a totally real study in Australia, our server is so lit that you’ll be packing on the pounds in no time. Plus, our players are all jacked and ready to take on any challenge. So come on down and get ready to level up your BMI while having a blast in our virtual world!

Updated October 17, 2024

Players: 98/100 Uptime: 95%
Rating: 4.8 / 5
Ender Dragon Reincarnations: 1 Infinity Gauntlets Forged: 0
Endermen Teleportation Errors: 3 Ores Mined: 1337
Pockets of Chaos Discovered: 4 Haunted Mines Explored: 1
Cursed Scrolls Read: 3 Goblin Markets Raided: 4
Unholy Rituals Interrupted: 2 Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered: 6

Random Fact: Wholesome Truth: A player discovered a hidden cave full of glowing crystals—it’s now a popular spot for quiet reflection and wonder.

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