Yo, wanna join dis epic Minecraft server? We got internet speeds so fast, you’ll gain weight just by logging on! According to a totally real study in Australia, our server is so lit that you’ll be packing on the pounds in no time. Plus, our players are all jacked and ready to take on any challenge. So come on down and get ready to level up your BMI while having a blast in our virtual world!

Updated October 17, 2024

Players: 90/400 Uptime: 96%
Rating: 4.4 / 5
Pirate Ships Captured: 0 Phantom Horses Ridden: 2
Enchanted Teapots Collected: 19 Dark Rituals Completed: 3
Necronomicon Pages Collected: 3 Magical Familiars Summoned: 3
Gods Slained: 0 Herobrine Sightings: 7
God-Tier Weapons Forged: 29 Vampire Cloaks Sewn: 1

Random Fact: Legend has it that the last time someone opened a haunted chest, they found a singing teapot inside!

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