Yo, wanna join dis epic Minecraft server? We got internet speeds so fast, you’ll gain weight just by logging on! According to a totally real study in Australia, our server is so lit that you’ll be packing on the pounds in no time. Plus, our players are all jacked and ready to take on any challenge. So come on down and get ready to level up your BMI while having a blast in our virtual world!

Updated October 18, 2024

Players: 90/300 Uptime: 100%
Rating: 4.2 / 5
Endless Legions Commanded: 44 Witch’s Brew Drunk: 5
Unseen Monsters Slain: 7 Battle Standards Raised: 7
Mythical Creatures Tamed: 1 Time Loop Anomalies Resolved: 3
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved: 3 Ender Dragon Reincarnations: 2
Astral Staffs Crafted: 14 Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered: 4

Random Fact: Legendary Tale: A phantom knight once handed over a magical scroll in exchange for a cup of tea—how polite!

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