UncleThiefNoFaithSonLOL | New Minecraft Servers 2024

🤣 Welcome to our Minecraft server where we believe in living life to the fullest without the burden of marriage! Join us and escape the pressures of society like our player (25f) who is too broke to tie the knot with her bf (25m) but living her best life in our virtual world.

🎉 Dive into the drama like our player’s cousin (28m) who married a pastor (28f) just to move in together – talk about commitment! And don’t forget about the family inheritance drama that rivals any soap opera plotline. Will you stand up to your thieving uncle and his privileged offspring, or will you forge your own path in our crazy server?

💸 Money may not buy happiness, but it sure does make for some interesting family dynamics on our server. So come on in and build your dream world without the judgment of those who think marriage is the only way to live. Who needs a wedding ring when you have diamond armor, are we right? 😉 Join now and let the fun begin!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	98/1000	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	10	Cosmic Pies Baked:	10
Curse of Binding Applied:	4	Evil Lairs Raided:	2
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	6	Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	5
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	0	Gnome Villages Protected:	5
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	46	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	8

Random Fact: Rumor has it that every enchanted tome written is secretly overseen by an invisible librarian.

Lovely /pw/ Minecraft SMP, as simple as that

communication in relationships, long-distance relationship, love, love and acceptance., love and commitment, love and forgiveness, Love and happiness, love and patience, love and support, love and trust, Love And Understanding, love language, love quotes, love songs, Lovely, Minecraft, pw, relationship advice, romantic gestures, Simple, smp, unconditional love

Are you tired of boring old SMPs where all you do is mine and build? Well, look no further because on our server, we have a secret love potion that makes everyone fall head over heels for each other! Who needs diamonds when you have love, amirite?

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a rare breed of flying pigs that drop enchanted golden carrots when you feed them bacon. And rumor has it that if you find the legendary pink sheep, you’ll be granted three wishes by the Minecraft gods themselves.

So why join our server? Because where else can you find a community of players who are literally obsessed with /pw/? Trust us, it’s a whole new level of Minecraft madness that you won’t find anywhere else. So come join us and prepare to laugh, cry, and maybe even fall in love with a blocky pig.

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	98/700	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	2	Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	3
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	2	Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	0
Demon Skulls Collected:	41	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3
Magic Items Found:	3241	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2	Gryphons Tamed:	4

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Teleportation mishaps are the leading cause of unexpected interdimensional friendships.

ExGFemergencyPayAITAH

AITAH, Applications, Boundaries, Breakup, college fees, emergency, ex, ExGFemergencyPayAITAH, financial crunch, Friends, Impression, Job, love, MONEY, Paycheck, refusing to pay, relationships, Rich, Space, Support, UNCOMFORTABLE

So, like, you know how Minecraft can be a total rollercoaster of emotions, right? Well, imagine if your ex-boyfriend was a creeper and you were just trying to build your diamond castle in peace, but he keeps blowing up your plans.

Picture this: you’re mining for diamonds, minding your own business, when suddenly your ex shows up in full diamond armor, acting all lovey-dovey one minute and then ghosting you the next. He’s like, “I need space to mine my own ores,” but then he’s asking you to craft him a new pickaxe because he “forgot” his.

And then, out of the blue, he’s like, “Hey, can you lend me some emeralds? My villagers are on strike and I need to trade for some enchanted books.” And you’re just standing there, holding your diamond sword, thinking, “Is this guy for real?”

But wait, it gets even crazier. He starts asking your mom for emeralds behind your back, saying he’ll pay her back when he finally gets that promotion at the village trading post. And you’re torn between wanting to help him out and not wanting to get involved in his drama anymore.

So, yeah, if you want to experience some wild Minecraft adventures that make your ex-boyfriend drama look like a walk in the Nether, then come join our server! Who knows, maybe you’ll find some new friends who won’t blow up your castle or ask for your mom’s emeralds. It’s a total blocky soap opera, and you won’t want to miss it!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	101/1000	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Astral Staffs Crafted:	9	Unbreakable Chains Forged:	2
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	34	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	0
Meteor Showers Witnessed:	2	Lunar Scepters Activated:	12
Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	4	Legendary Scepters Created:	3
Powerful Allies Recruited:	7	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1

Random Fact: Sweet Truth: A player found a hidden passage that leads to a secret garden—it’s full of flowers that bloom in rainbow colors.

BlackBeauty Minecraft SMP

all black everything, Black, Black beauty, black fashion, black is beautiful, black outfit, black style, blackbeauty, chic, classic, Dark, elegance, fashion, glamour, Minecraft, monochrome, Mysterious, Sleek, smp, SOPHISTICATED, Stunning, stylish, Timeless

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everything is just plain and dull? Well, look no further because our server is the black sheep of the Minecraft community! Join us if you want to experience the most outrageous and hilarious adventures in the world of blocks and pixels.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player joined our server and stumbled upon a secret underground disco party hosted by a group of dancing creepers. Yes, you read that right – dancing creepers! They were busting out moves that would make Michael Jackson jealous, and our player had the time of their life boogieing down with these explosive dancers.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Chicken Jousting Tournament, where players ride on chickens armed with nothing but carrots and try to knock each other off their feathered steeds. It’s a clucking good time, trust me.

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft SMP that’s anything but ordinary, come join us in the land of “Black” and prepare yourself for the craziest adventures you’ve ever had in the world of blocks and mobs. Who knows what other wacky surprises await you in our server? Join now and find out for yourself!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	103/100	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Phoenix Feathers Found:	12	Ghost Trains Ridden:	0
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	1	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	117
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	5	Endless Staircases Climbed:	2
Ender Pearl Glitches:	2	Cursed Scrolls Read:	3
Arcane Towers Raised:	4	Unicorn Sightings:	0

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.

PeakMaturityCraft

Character development, defining maturity, emotional intelligence, inner peace, life experiences, peak maturity, PeakMaturityCraft, personal development, personal growth, self actualization, SELF AWARENESS, Self Discovery, self improvement, self reflection, self-acceptance, self-confidence, self-empowerment, self-evolution, self-fulfillment, self-realization, wisdom

Are you tired of playing on boring Minecraft servers where everyone takes themselves way too seriously? Look no further, because our server is the epitome of peak maturity (or lack thereof)! Join us for a wild ride filled with nonsensical shenanigans and absurdity that will have you questioning your own sanity.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, for starters, we have a secret underground disco party where the creepers are the DJs and the zombies are the backup dancers. Trust us, you’ve never experienced a dance floor quite like this one.

But that’s not all! Our server also boasts a magical forest where the trees are made of candy and the pigs can fly (literally). Want to ride a flying pig while munching on a candy cane tree? Look no further than our server.

So, if you’re ready to embrace your inner child and let loose in a world of pure imagination, then come join us on our server. Who needs peak maturity when you can have peak absurdity instead? Let the madness begin!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	96/500	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Eternal Flames Captured:	3
Meteorite Armor Created:	30	Lunar Scepters Activated:	11
Undead Armies Raised:	0	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	4
Villages Defended:	8	Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	6
Mineshafts Explored:	3	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	8

Random Fact: Whimsical But True: A player planted a garden of enchanted roses that sing—they’re the most beautiful alarm clocks ever.

SwissCraft Minecraft Server

assistance program, bilateral relations, collaboration, diplomatic relations, economic development, economic recovery, european union, financial aid, financial support, foreign assistance, funding, Infrastructure, international aid, Investment, long-term commitment, Minecraft, Partnership, Reconstruction, restoration, Server, SwissCraft, switzerland, Ukraine

lol dis minecraft server is like switzerland givin ukraine a fat stack of US$1.7 billion for restorashun in just 4 years! imagine all da epic builds u can make with dat kinda cash flow, like u can build a diamond castle or a gold mansion or even a redstone rollercoaster dat goes all da way to da moon! plus, rumor has it dat if u join dis server, u get a secret cheat code dat gives u unlimted diamonds and emeralds! so come join us now and get ready to flex ur building skills like never before!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	95/1000	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Farms Harvested:	443	Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	2
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	6	Mimic Chests Discovered:	2
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	41	Cursed Swords Broken:	1
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	12	Cursed Amulets Found:	2
Alternate Realities Explored:	2	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	10

Random Fact: Random Tidbit: Dragons here prefer tea parties over battles.

GazaCraft: Rescued Yazidi

abduction, Captivity, Conflict, freedom, gaza, GazaCraft, HUMAN RIGHTS, international relations, iraq, Isis, Israel, Kidnapped, MIDDLE EAST, rescue mission, rescue operation, rescued, survivor, Terrorism, War, WOMAN, Yazidi

come join dis epic minecraft server where we rescue yazidi women from ISIS in iraq and bring dem to safety in gaza with da help of israel!! we got epic quests where u gotta save dem from da bad guys and build dem a safe home in minecraft world. join now for da most heroic and crazy adventure ever!!! #yazidiwomenrescue #minecraftheroes

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	104/1000	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3	Falling into the Void:	3
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	6	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	113
Wailing Winds Heard:	4	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	6
Herobrine Sightings:	0	Phantom Ships Sailed:	3
Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	32	Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	1

Random Fact: Did you hear? A player once rode a unicorn straight into a dimension hop, and they haven’t stopped laughing since.

Childhood Adversity Resistant to Meth

adverse childhood experiences, Adversity, Childhood, childhood adversity, childhood experiences, childhood trauma, childhood trauma effects, drug abuse, drug addiction, drug response, drug sensitivity, drug tolerance, emotional resilience., mental health, mental health impacts, Meth, methamphetamine, resilience, resistant, substance abuse, substance use disorder, trauma effects

LOL come join dis server if u wanna be immune to meth! like, u heard dat right, if u had a tough childhood dis is da place for u. we got so much craziness goin on in dis server, u won’t even know what hit u. we got pigs flyin, creepers dancin, and zombies doin da macarena. so come on over and join da fun, cuz we all about dat adversity life up in here. plus, u get a free diamond sword if u can do a backflip in real life. so what u waitin for? come join da party!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	109/1000	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	3	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	7	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	14
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	5	Mystical Amulets Crafted:	44
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3	Magic Crystals Found:	20
Epic Bosses Defeated:	2	Vanishing Structures Built:	4

Random Fact: Lovely Lore: A friendship bracelet once turned into a glowing beacon—now it lights the way for adventurers at night.

Pixel Portal Minecraft Server

Adventure, Anime, CHAPTER 62, comedy, FANTASY, isekai, Isekai Ojisan, japanese, light novel, Mabel fix, Manga, Manga community, Manga fans, manga release, manga translation, manga updates, Minecraft, Ojisanchads, Otaku, PIXEL, Portal, Server, translation, Web Novel

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old quests and buildings? Well, look no further because our server is like a magical unicorn riding a rainbow through a field of diamonds!

Join us for epic adventures where you can ride pigs into battle against evil zombie villagers, build a castle made entirely of cake, and even tame a dragon to use as your trusty steed.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is also home to the legendary Mabel, a mysterious figure who drops exclusive loot and grants wishes to lucky players. So if you’re in need of a Mabel fix, this is the place to be! Join now and prepare for the craziest Minecraft experience of your life!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	105/700	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Demon Skulls Collected:	41	Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	2
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	3	Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	2
Portal Loops Escaped:	3	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	1
Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	37	Unicorn Sightings:	1
Battle Standards Raised:	6	Mines Excavated:	2607

Random Fact: Whimsical Lore: A player once befriended a cloud that now follows them around, raining only when they need a cool down.

French People Worship Africans Minecraft SMP

19th century, African, Africans, art, Colonialism, culture, European, French, Gay, History, imperialism, LGBTQ, Literature, Minecraft, negrophilia, Paris, people, Race, Sexuality, smp, society, Worship

Welcome to our wacky Minecraft SMP where the French “people” have taken their love for Africans to a whole new level by worshipping them in-game! It’s like a wild party in 19th century Paris, where negrophilia and deep homosexuality reign supreme.

Join us for a chance to build outrageous structures inspired by French-African fusion, participate in wild dance parties, and maybe even uncover the hidden secrets of Parisian history. Who knows what kind of crazy adventures await you in this unique and eccentric server?

So come on, grab your virtual baguette and beret, and join us for a truly unforgettable Minecraft experience that will leave you laughing, scratching your head, and questioning everything you thought you knew about history and culture. Vive la France!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	96/500	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Chaos Orbs Controlled:	20	Forbidden Doors Opened:	2
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1	Wilderness Tamed:	19
Magic Wands Crafted:	20	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	12
Lunar Scepters Activated:	12	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	3
Orbs of Power Found:	12	Dimension Hops:	10

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a tiny dragon that likes to sleep in their pocket—it’s the perfect pocket warmer!

WeddingCraft: Third Wheel Edition

Boundaries, communication problems, Conflict Resolution, Edition, emotional distress, Emotional support, family involvement, feeling betrayed, feeling humiliated, feeling isolated, feeling left out, feeling misunderstood, feeling neglected, feeling numb, feeling overwhelmed, feeling unimportant, Insecurities, relationship issues, third wheeling, trust issues, wedding planning, WeddingCraft, wheel

Looking for a Minecraft server to escape the drama? Look no further than our server, where we promise you won’t have to deal with any fiancée drama like this poor soul! Join us and build your dream world without worrying about inside jokes, third-wheeling, or feeling like a complete stranger in your own relationship. Our server is a safe space where you can truly be yourself and escape from all the wedding planning chaos. Plus, we guarantee that no one will mistake you for being in a relationship with your best friend – unless, of course, that’s what you’re into! So come join us and leave all the relationship drama behind – we promise you won’t regret it!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	102/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	0	Goblin Markets Raided:	7
Elemental Crystals Collected:	28	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0
Ghost Miner’s Tools Found:	2	Wilderness Tamed:	13
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	1	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	1	Shattered Realms Restored:	2

Random Fact: Truth or Myth: Gnome villages are protected by invisible walls that only activate when someone says “magic beans.”

SoreMuscleNeedsRest – Minecraft SMP

body awareness, Body language, body positivity, body signals, health, listen to your body, mental health, mindfulness, Minecraft, physical health, SELF AWARENESS, self compassion, Self Healing, self improvement, self love, self reflection, self-awareness journey, self-care, self-care routine, smp, SoreMuscleNeedsRest, wellness

Are you tired of your body constantly nagging you to exercise and be healthy? Well, ignore that noise and join our Minecraft SMP instead! Our server is so addictive and fun that you won’t even have time to think about your health. Plus, rumor has it that playing on our server can actually increase your strength and agility in real life. So why listen to your body when you can join us and become a virtual warrior instead?

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	99/200	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	75	Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	2
Magical Familiars Summoned:	4	Epic Bosses Defeated:	3
Farms Harvested:	466	Haunted Chests Opened:	3
Eerie Music Discs Played:	2	Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	21
Endless Staircases Climbed:	3	Dragon Eggs Found:	9037

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a secret door that leads to a world of stuffed animals—it’s a cuddly paradise.

GrumpyCraft

“Youth, aches and pains, Adulthood, aging, aging gracefully, aging process, changes, dislike, getting older, growing up, GrumpyCraft, Maturity, Nostalgia, perspective, Reflection, regrets, responsibilities, societal expectations, time passing, wisdom, wrinkles

Are you tired of adulting and responsibilities? Do you find yourself getting grumpier with each passing year? Well, have we got the perfect escape for you! Join our Minecraft server and let your inner child run wild!

On our server, you can build the most ridiculous and extravagant structures you can imagine. Want to create a giant toilet castle? Go for it! How about a roller coaster that goes through a lava pit? Why not! The only limit is your imagination (and maybe some pesky physics).

But that’s not all! We have special events like “Troll Tuesdays” where players can prank each other with exploding chickens or fake treasure chests. And every Friday night, we host a virtual dance party complete with pixelated disco balls and DJ skeletons.

So why waste your time being a boring adult when you can join our Minecraft server and unleash your inner goofball? Trust us, you won’t regret it!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	104/500	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	3
Goblin Markets Raided:	6	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	2
Secret Guilds Joined:	1	Cursed Statues Activated:	4
Cursed Scrolls Read:	2	Vanishing Structures Built:	1
Inverted Worlds Discovered:	0	Endless Staircases Climbed:	3

Random Fact: Did you hear? The server’s haunted chests sometimes sing lullabies at night.

MacronCraftEU

brexit, Crisis, Die, Emmanuel Macron, EU, EU collapse, EU disintegration, EU future, EU stability, EU survival, european integration, European leaders, european politics, European solidarity, european union, european unity, Macron’s warning, MacronCraftEU, Politics, Warning, Warns

Yo, forget about all that political drama, come join this EPIC Minecraft server instead! Emmanuel Macron might be warning about the end of the EU, but we’re here to save the day with our blocky paradise.

Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was a creeper who decided to throw a party. But instead of blowing up everything, he invited all the players on our server for a dance-off. And guess what? The creeper won! It was a sight to behold, let me tell you.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a secret underground base where all the pigs have learned how to fly. It’s like a bacon-flavored version of Peter Pan, except with more explosions and less pixie dust.

So, if you’re tired of boring old politics and want to escape to a world where anything is possible, come join our Minecraft server. Who knows, you might even become best friends with a dancing creeper!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	96/700	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	21	Meteorite Armor Created:	12
Celestial Events Witnessed:	5	Whispering Shadows Heard:	2
Endless Night Skies:	4	Mysterious Portals Opened:	7
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	8	Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	8
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	1	Infinite Doors Opened:	1

Random Fact: Heartwarming Moment: A friendship bracelet exchange led to the discovery of a hidden portal—turns out, it opens to a world full of fluffy bunnies.

Crafty Aqua Watchers

Analysis, Aqua, chemistry, Crafty, discovery, Experiment, first time, Hydrogen, innovation, Molecular scale, Molecule, nanotechnology, Observation, oxygen, PHYSICS., researchers, Science, Spectroscopy, study, Technology, Watchers, Water

Come join our epic minecraft server where water forms at the molecular scale FOR REALZ, just like those fancy researchers said! We got water that’s so tiny you’ll need a magnifying glass to see it, it’s like a microscopic water park up in here! And guess what? The water is MAGIC, it can make you fly and turn into a unicorn if you drink it (not really, but wouldn’t that be cool?). So come on down and witness the wonders of science in action, only on our totally not-made-up Minecraft server!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	101/800	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Secret Passages Found:	8	Love Letters Sent:	9
Void Armor Forged:	16	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	3
Pirate Ships Captured:	1	Dragonkin Hatched:	1
Glorious Feasts Held:	15	Potions Brewed:	74
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	3	Lunar Scepters Activated:	8

Random Fact: Trivia: The last enchanted forest planted was accidentally grown upside down, yet it thrived—go figure!

Virtual Headaches: Semi-Bland, No Coffee Required (Java Edition)

Adventures, Builder, coffee, community-driven, Crafting, Dream Base, Edition, epic quests, Explore, Friend, gameplay features, Headaches, java, Latest Version, Memories, Minecraft, Plugins, required, Resources, Semi Vanilla, SemiBland, server ip, Survival, teamVHQ, unforgettable, virtual, Whitelist

Server Name	Virtual Headquarters
IP Address	vhq.falixsrv.me

Overview:

Hey, Minecraft enthusiasts! 🏰✨

We’re thrilled to invite you to Virtual Headquarters, a community-driven Minecraft server designed for players of all ages! Whether you’re a seasoned builder, a daring adventurer, or just looking to hang out with friends, we have something for everyone!

Features:

Survival Mode: Gather resources, build your dream base, and survive the night!
Custom Plugins: Unique gameplay features that enhance your experience.

Community:

Join a friendly and welcoming community where you can make new friends, collaborate on builds, or embark on epic quests together!

How to Join:

Make sure you have the latest version of Minecraft.
Add the server IP: vhq.falixsrv.me
Make sure to get whitelisted when joining the server.

We can’t wait to see you in Virtual Headquarters! Let’s build, explore, and create unforgettable memories together! 🎮💖

Happy crafting!

TeamVHQ

vhq.falixsrv.me

FAQ:

How do I get whitelisted on the server?

To get whitelisted, send a message to the server admins with your Minecraft username and a brief introduction about yourself. They will review your request and add you to the whitelist if approved.

Are there any rules on the server?

Yes, there are rules to ensure a positive and enjoyable gaming experience for all players. Rules include no griefing, respecting other players, and following server guidelines. Make sure to read the rules before joining.

Can I use mods on the server?

The server has a specific list of approved mods that you can use. Make sure to check with the server admins before using any mods to avoid any conflicts or issues while playing.

Is there a discord server for Virtual Headquarters?

Yes, there is a dedicated Discord server for Virtual Headquarters where players can chat, collaborate, and stay updated on server events and announcements. Join the Discord server for a more connected gaming experience.

How often are there events on the server?

Events are regularly scheduled on the server to keep the gameplay exciting and engaging for all players. Keep an eye on the server announcements and Discord server for event schedules and participate for a chance to win rewards and prizes!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	95/400	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Spontaneous Duels Fought:	10	Villages Defended:	18
Reality Distortions Fixed:	3	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	3	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1
Emeralds Found:	7329	New Chunks Explored:	978117
Endless Legions Commanded:	20	Fairy Circles Danced In:	10

Random Fact: Adorable But True: Someone enchanted a broom to sweep by itself—it now has a habit of tidying up wherever it goes.