Yo, wanna join dis epic Minecraft server? We got internet speeds so fast, you’ll gain weight just by logging on! According to a totally real study in Australia, our server is so lit that you’ll be packing on the pounds in no time. Plus, our players are all jacked and ready to take on any challenge. So come on down and get ready to level up your BMI while having a blast in our virtual world!

Updated October 18, 2024

Players: 90/300 Uptime: 95%
Rating: 4.5 / 5
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved: 2 Ethereal Couriers Hired: 4
Talking Trees Consulted: 5 Unbreakable Chains Forged: 6
Glorious Feasts Held: 10 Immortal Potions Brewed: 8
Phantom Blocks Placed: 3 Warlock Amulets Crafted: 13
Evil Portals Destroyed: 2 Cursed Lands Purified: 2

Random Fact: Did you know? When a reality-bending puzzle is solved, it sometimes turns nearby players into walking marshmallows.

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