Yo, forget about that boring real world news, come join our Minecraft server where we have unlimited virtual food for everyone! We got so much virtual steak and virtual cake, you won’t even remember what real food tastes like. Plus, we have a secret underground farm where we grow virtual carrots and potatoes, so you’ll never go hungry. Join now and save yourself from the UN’s food blockade in northern Gaza…or something like that. Just come play Minecraft with us, it’s way more fun than starving in real life, trust me.

Updated October 15, 2024

Players: 101/400 Uptime: 99%
Rating: 4.4 / 5
Meteorites Collected: 1 New Chunks Explored: 579721
Cosmic Hamsters Found: 5 Magic Items Found: 8792
Dimensional Collapse Prevented: 0 Rune Stones Activated: 8
Forbidden Tomes Read: 2 Time-Traveling Monkeys Met: 3
Dragons Adopted as Pets: 3 Towns Built: 8

Random Fact: Magical Fact: Someone once enchanted their fireplace to tell bedtime stories—now it’s the coziest spot in any house.

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