CraftyPatriotEmbarrassment | New Minecraft Servers 2024

The First Descendant Minecraft Server

Adventure, bros, Captivating, Character development, descendant, FANTASY, gameplay, gook character design, graphics, Immersive, indie game, me over, Minecraft, RPG, Server, Storyline, the first descendant, Unique, video game, winning, world-building

Hey there, fellow gamers! Are you tired of boring old character designs in Minecraft? Well, look no further because our server has the most epic and gook-tastic character designs you’ve ever seen! Join us and become a gook master in no time!

But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to the legendary Gook Kingdom, where players can embark on quests to defeat the evil Gook Lord and save the land from certain doom. Will you be the hero that the Gook Kingdom needs?

And if that’s not enough to convince you, how about this – our server has a secret underground disco party where players can dance the night away with their gook friends. Trust us, you haven’t lived until you’ve boogied down with a gook!

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and experience the gook-tastic adventure of a lifetime!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	92/200	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	6	Phantom Knights Defeated:	2
Evil Twin Fights:	3	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2

Random Fact: Wholesome Lore: A hidden village was discovered where everyone bakes cookies—they give them out for free to travelers.

4chan – Best Code In The World, Or Just Nostalgia? Minecraft SMP

4chan, 4chan design, Angular, Code, cost effective, deprecated PHP, design, dev team, Minecraft, neckbeard, Nostalgia, optimized for phones, regressive, Safe, safe haven, smp, source code, spaghetti sites, Tech, tiktok, world, Zoomer

Looking for a Minecraft SMP where everyone worships 4chan like it’s the holy grail of the internet? Look no further, because our server is dedicated to all things 4chan, its code, and its design!

Join us in this safe haven where we embrace the glory of 4chan’s outdated but beloved ways. Who needs modern technology when you have the nostalgic charm of 4chan’s untouched source code from two decades ago?

Forget about fancy websites optimized for phones and built with the latest tech trends. We’re all about that retro vibe and keeping it real with our barely functioning spaghetti sites.

So if you’re tired of the same old Minecraft SMPs and want to experience the wild world of 4chan worship, join us and be part of something truly unique. Plus, who wouldn’t want to be part of a community that values regressive neckbeard users and generates millions of dollars without breaking a sweat?

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to be part of something truly special. Pic rel is how our server should look – join us now and embrace the chaos!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	108/500	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	3	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	7
Magic Scrolls Discovered:	7	Cursed Statues Activated:	3

Random Fact: Trivia: The last enchanted forest planted was accidentally grown upside down, yet it thrived—go figure!

CarCraft Minecraft Server

apologies, Boundaries, car accidents, car lending, car ownership, CarCraft, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Decision making, Disrespect, family dynamics, guest etiquette, Hospitality, mature driving, Minecraft, misunderstandings, new car, personal belongings, respecting property, Selfishness, Server, sibling relationships, Transportation

Looking for a Minecraft server that values car safety and boundaries? Look no further than our server! We understand the importance of keeping your vehicles safe from reckless drivers, even if they’re family members. Join us and never worry about your precious virtual cars being taken for a joyride by your brother-in-law again!

Our server is perfect for those who prioritize car protection and respect personal boundaries. Say goodbye to the days of feeling pressured to lend out your sports car to someone who may not handle it with care. Join now and experience the freedom of knowing your vehicles are safe and sound, just like they should be!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	98/500	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
World-Altering Spells Cast:	0	Farms Harvested:	645
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	2	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2

Random Fact: Did you know? The server’s cozy campfires never go out, even in the rain!

SpookySisterDramaMC

blended family, co parenting, Communication, custody, exclusion, family conflict, halloween party, parental boundaries, parental decision-making, parenting, peer relationships, relationships, sibling dynamics, sibling rivalry, social dynamics, SpookySisterDramaMC, stepfamily, stepsister, Support, teenage daughter, teenage social events

Looking for a Minecraft server that will distract you from your ex-wife drama? Look no further! Join our server where we promise zero sibling rivalry drama like the one between your daughter and her stepsister. Our server is a safe space for all players, even those who feel excluded like the stepsister at the Halloween party. Plus, we have a strict “no ex-wives allowed” policy to ensure a drama-free gaming experience. So come join us and let’s build a world where everyone gets along, unlike your ex-wife and her husband’s failed attempts at sibling bonding!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	96/400	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2	Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	63
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	7	Invisible Pathways Walked:	6

Random Fact: Fun Fact: A dragon egg once hatched into a tiny kitten with wings—it now rules the skies (and laps) of the server.

LifeWinsInMinecraftSMP

achievement, Dedication, determination, goal-setting, growth mindset., hard work, inspiration, life strategies, LifeWinsInMinecraftSMP, motivation, overcoming obstacles, perseverance, personal development, positive thinking, reaching goals, resilience, self improvement, Self Motivation, self-discipline, success, winning mindset

By joining our Minecraft SMP, of course! We have a secret stash of enchanted golden carrots that grant you the power to fly and shoot lasers from your eyes. Plus, our server is guarded by a team of highly trained llamas who will protect you from any griefers or creepers trying to ruin your day.

But that’s not all – we also have a hidden underground disco party where you can dance the night away with all your new friends. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon the legendary diamond pickaxe that can mine an entire chunk in one swing.

So come join us and experience the wildest, wackiest, and most wonderful Minecraft SMP you’ve ever seen. Trust us, you won’t want to miss out on all the craziness and fun that awaits you here!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	108/500	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Celestial Crowns Worn:	1	Curse of Binding Applied:	4
Enchanted Teapots Collected:	16	Blood Moons Survived:	2

Random Fact: Magical Insight: Moonlit rituals are believed to be more powerful if performed while wearing socks on your hands.

BlockBreakUpBay

BlockBreakUpBay, Breakup, Communication Issues, controlling behavior, denial, dishonesty, Emotional Abuse, hindsight, incompatibility, indifference, Jealousy, Manipulation, neglect, Overlook, red flag, relationship, toxic behavior, trust issues, unresolved issues, warning signs, warning signs ignored

Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers with no drama and excitement? Well, look no further! Join our server where relationships are as unstable as a creeper in a thunderstorm!

Forget about red flags, we’ve got rainbow flags flying high in our server! From players stealing each other’s diamonds to secret underground love triangles, you’ll never be bored here. Who needs a stable relationship when you can have a rollercoaster of emotions in our Minecraft world?

So, if you’re ready to overlook all the red flags and dive headfirst into chaos, join our server now! Who knows, you might even find your true love amidst all the drama (or at least a new mining buddy)!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	96/500	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Evil Lairs Raided:	3	Curse of Binding Applied:	2
Crystal Wands Charged:	16	Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	3

Random Fact: Wholesome Lore: A hidden village was discovered where everyone bakes cookies—they give them out for free to travelers.

NukeCraft Server: No Promises!

Assurance, cnn, Diplomacy, foreign relations, Geopolitical, Government, international news, iran, Israel, MIDDLE EAST, Military Action, nuclear facilities, nuclear program, nukecraft, Officials, potential conflict, Promises, security concerns, Server, State Department, Target, Tensions, world news

so, like, u ever wanted to join a minecraft server that is so lit, it’s like a nuclear explosion of fun? well, this server is the bomb, literally! we got crazy builds that will blow your mind, just like how Israel might blow up Iran’s nuclear facilities (not cool, bro). but don’t worry, we promise not to target your creations, unless they’re, like, super ugly or something. come join us for a blast of a time and see why everyone is talking about this server, it’s the bomb dot com!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	104/400	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	4	Crops Grown:	5214
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	20	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	1

Random Fact: Sweet But True: A player found a cuddly creature that hugs them every morning—it’s the best way to start the day.

CraftyComrades

CASUALTIES, casualty, Combat, Conflict, CraftyComrades, death, eastern europe, Fatalities, international news, Military, Military operations, past 24 hours, russia, soldiers, statistics, Toll, Tragedy, Ukraine, Updates, violence, War

come join our epic minecraft server where the only war you’ll be fighting is against creepers and zombies! we have so many casualties every day, but don’t worry, they’re all just pixelated characters, not real people!

we’ve got crazy battles, insane builds, and a community that will have you laughing until your sides hurt. join us and be a part of the chaos, where the only casualties are your pride when you get blown up by a TNT trap you didn’t see coming.

come on, what are you waiting for? russia’s war casualty toll has nothing on the craziness of our minecraft server!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	102/1000	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Astral Projections Made:	0	Celestial Gardens Planted:	4
Whispering Shadows Heard:	5	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	0

Random Fact: Sweet Lore: A player once tamed a unicorn by offering it a sugar cube—it now follows them everywhere, leaving a trail of sparkles.

Retro Reality Minecraft Server

1970, Actual, adjusted, Analysis, average costs, comparison, cost of living, current day, data, Economy, Expenses, historical, image, inflation, meme, Minecraft, Prices, Reality, Retro, Server, statistics, Updated

Are you tired of boring old servers where the only thing inflated is the egos of the players? Well, look no further! Our Minecraft server is so wild, even the cost of living from the 1970s can’t keep up with the craziness! Join us and experience a world where diamonds rain from the sky, creepers tell jokes instead of exploding, and the only thing more valuable than emeralds is friendship (and maybe some enchanted golden apples). So come on down and see for yourself why our server is the talk of the town (and the Nether)!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	102/400	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Horror Stories Survived:	6	Heroic Legacies Created:	6
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	2	Werewolf Howls Heard:	2

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Unicorns on the server have been known to grant wishes!

Pure Asexual Minecraft SMP Girlfriend Sharing

Asexual, childlike affection, Companionship, cute, desire, emotional connection, gf, Girlfriend, Heartache, Intimacy, Live, Loneliness, longing, longing for love, love, Minecraft, Pure, relationship, romance, sharing, smp, unrequited love, yearning, ywn

Join our Minecraft SMP if you want to find your one true asexual love and share pure, childlike affection together! Who needs diamonds when you can have a cute Minecraft girlfriend to cuddle with in-game? Don’t miss out on the chance to find your perfect match and experience the most wholesome relationship in the Minecraft universe. Trust us, it’s worth it!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	94/200	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	6	Magic Scrolls Discovered:	4
Epic Quests Completed:	20	Runic Tablets Deciphered:	37

Random Fact: Sweet Lore: A player once tamed a unicorn by offering it a sugar cube—it now follows them everywhere, leaving a trail of sparkles.

SisterSass Minecraft Server

AITAH, Boundaries, Communication, Confrontation, Drama, fair, family, Friends, Homeschool, Honesty, Minecraft, relationships, RESPONSIBILITY, School, Server, Siblings, sister, SisterSass, Vaping, Victim

Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as drama-free as my sister’s homeschooling experience? Look no further! Our server is the perfect escape from all the backstabbing and vape-stealing shenanigans of real life. Join us and leave the high school drama behind!

We promise no one will throw you under the bus (unless it’s a fun minigame involving actual buses). Our community is all about honesty and responsibility, unlike my sister who can’t seem to take the blame for anything. Plus, we have a strict no-vape policy, so you won’t have to worry about anyone stealing your clouds.

So come join us on the server where the only drama is whether to build a castle or a rollercoaster first. And remember, if anyone asks, you’re definitely not the asshole for telling it like it is.

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	110/1000	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Endless Night Skies:	4	Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1
Astral Staffs Crafted:	7	Horror Stories Survived:	2

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a secret door that leads to a world of stuffed animals—it’s a cuddly paradise.

DadCraft Drama: AITA?

aita, DadCraft, Drama

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where family drama is just as wild as the creepers exploding all around you! Join us for a chance to escape your own crazy family secrets and build a new life in a virtual world.

If you thought finding out your uncle is actually your father was shocking, just wait until you see the hidden secrets and surprises we have in store for you on our server. Who needs therapy when you can mine diamonds and fight off zombies to cope with your newfound family revelations?

Don’t worry about forming relationships with estranged relatives here – on our server, the only family you need is your fellow players who will have your back through every blocky adventure. So come join us and let’s mine, build, and laugh our way through the chaos together!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	94/900	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Fairy Circles Danced In:	5	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	3
Phoenix Feathers Found:	12	Spectral Entities Defeated:	3

Random Fact: Fun Fact: A dragon egg once hatched into a tiny kitten with wings—it now rules the skies (and laps) of the server.

GrindCraft SMP

energy drain, energy vampires, energy zappers, Fruitless endeavors, futile efforts, grindcraft, ineffective use of time, non-profitable pursuits, pointless tasks, smp, Time management, time suckers, time wasters, time-consuming tasks., unfulfilling activities, Unproductive activities, unproductive endeavors, unproductive habits, unproductive tasks, unprofitable investments, wasted effort

Are you tired of wasting your precious time and energy on things that don’t bring you any return? Well, look no further because our Minecraft SMP is the answer to all your problems! Join us and embark on a wild adventure filled with unexpected twists and turns that will leave you questioning your sanity.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was a player who joined our SMP and within minutes, they were chased by a pack of angry llamas wearing top hats. But instead of running away in fear, they decided to befriend the llamas and together, they formed a llama army that conquered the entire server. And that player? They became the llama king, ruling over their subjects with a hoof of iron.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a secret underground disco party where players can dance the night away with creepers and skeletons. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon the legendary diamond disco ball that grants wishes to those who can bust a move like no other.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft SMP today and say goodbye to wasting your time on boring activities. Who knows, you might just become the next llama king or disco ball dancer extraordinaire!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	101/100	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	1	Magic Scrolls Discovered:	5
Eternal Flames Captured:	3	Holy Grails Found:	2

Random Fact: Wild But True: Someone actually summoned an Eldritch Beast using nothing but friendship bracelets!

Annoyingly Normal

annoying habits, annoyingly, common annoyances, common frustrations, common irritations, common pet peeves, daily annoyances, everyday annoyance, everyday frustrations, everyday irritations, irksome habits, minor annoyances, minor frustrations, minor irritations, mundane annoyances, normal, normalcy, personal triggers, pet peeve, typical irritations, universal annoyances, universal frustrations

Are you tired of creepers blowing up your hard-earned creations? Sick of getting lost in the Nether and ending up in a lava pit? Well, have we got the perfect solution for you! Join our Minecraft server where all creepers have been replaced with adorable kittens that explode into a shower of rainbows and sparkles. And forget about getting lost in the Nether – our portal system will teleport you directly to a secret underground disco party hosted by none other than Notch himself!

But that’s not all! On our server, you can ride on the backs of flying pigs, battle zombie chickens armed with diamond swords, and even tame a dragon to ride around the map in style. And if you ever get bored of building epic castles and roller coasters, you can always participate in our daily llama races or join the search for the legendary golden carrot hidden somewhere in the world.

So why wait? Join our Minecraft server today and experience a whole new world of insanity and hilarity that will have you laughing until your sides hurt. Trust us, once you join, you’ll never want to leave!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	107/100	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	3	Horror Stories Survived:	1
Phantom Knights Defeated:	10	Unbreakable Chains Forged:	3

Random Fact: Heartwarming Moment: A friendship bracelet exchange led to the discovery of a hidden portal—turns out, it opens to a world full of fluffy bunnies.

PixelPoutinePutinJustice

Canadian, collusion, Conspiracy, Corruption, criminal case, far right, foreign influence, fraud, Government, indictment, influencers, International, investigation, Legal, MONEY, money laundering, PixelPoutinePutinJustice, Politics, Russian, scandal, U.S. Department of Justice

So, like, imagine this, right? You log onto this Minecraft server and BAM! You’re in the middle of a crazy battle between Russian billionaires and Canadian far-right influencers. The U.S. Department of Justice is all up in there, trying to stop the madness. But hey, who cares about all that drama when you can join in on the fun? Build your own empire, fight epic battles, and maybe even uncover some top-secret government conspiracies along the way. So, like, join now and be part of the wildest Minecraft server ever! Trust me, it’s gonna be lit AF!

Updated October 23, 2024

Players:	96/100	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Unicorn Sightings:	1	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	6
Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	3	Phantom Knights Defeated:	7

Random Fact: Fun Fact: The last chaos emerald discovered was found inside a potato. No one knows how it got there.

Players:	97/900	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	2	Eerie Music Discs Played:	6
Titan Hearts Harvested:	3	Players Killed by Monsters:	4385