Welcome to the most lit Minecraft server you’ll ever come across! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you some outrageous reasons:

1. Our server has a special feature where your character’s jacket is actually soft to the touch. It’s like playing Minecraft in a cozy blanket!

2. We have a mini-game where you can jack off on a Macintosh computer. Don’t worry, it’s all in good fun!

3. Asher Roth himself makes special appearances on our server. You can hang out with him while drinking apple sauce and living your best life.

4. And if that’s not enough, we have a whole community of goth bitches waiting to be your Minecraft companions. Who wouldn’t want that kind of support in the virtual world?

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and experience the madness for yourself!

Updated October 17, 2024

Players: 104/300 Uptime: 99%
Rating: 4.3 / 5
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered: 4 Animals Bred: 121
Herobrine Sightings: 3 Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered: 1
Enchanted Weapons Reforged: 3 Arcane Secrets Unlocked: 23
Buildings Constructed: 10 Divine Relics Bestowed: 14
Ores Mined: 9598 Time-Traveling Monkeys Met: 1

Random Fact: Truth or Myth: Gnome villages are protected by invisible walls that only activate when someone says “magic beans.”

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