so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 18, 2024

Players: 91/500 Uptime: 97%
Rating: 4.4 / 5
Infernal Machines Built: 1 Mysterious Portals Opened: 20
Immortal Anvils Forged: 10 Gnome Villages Protected: 2
Cozy Campfires Lit: 8 Celestial Beings Befriended: 1
Gods Slained: 1 Witch’s Brew Drunk: 8
Dragon Eggs Hatched: 2 Elemental Temples Cleansed: 1

Random Fact: Truth or Myth: Gnome villages are protected by invisible walls that only activate when someone says “magic beans.”

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