Valexium | New Minecraft Servers 2024

“No Holoen, No Bullshit” – The Ultimate Minecraft Server for Serious Gamers and Memelords alike!

#exciting, alike, bullshit, Colorful, Dance, Energetic, Engaging, Entertainment, enthusiastic, Fun, Gamers, Happiness, holoEN, Idol, idol fun, joy, Lively, Memelords, Minecraft, Music, no bullshit, no holoen, Performance, Pure, Server, singing, talent, Ultimate, vibrant

Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers that are full of holoen and bullshit? Look no further, because our server is all about pure idol fun!

Join us and embark on epic quests to find the rarest items in the game, like diamond-encrusted armor and enchanted swords that shoot fireballs. But be warned, the mobs on our server are no joke – they’ve been known to break out into dance battles when provoked.

If that’s not enough to convince you, how about this: our server is home to the legendary Blocky McBlockface, a mythical creature said to grant wishes to those who can defeat him in a building competition. Rumor has it that his favorite building material is rainbow-colored wool.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and experience the idol fun for yourself. Just remember, no holoen allowed!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	91/800	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Pirate Ships Captured:	0	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	1
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	4	Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	10
Chaos Orbs Controlled:	25	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Hidden Passages Discovered:	2	Cosmic Pies Baked:	5
Alien Abductions:	0	Forbidden Tomes Read:	3

Random Fact: Mythical Moment: A single drop of lava from the Phoenix Feather’s nest can forge an indestructible sword.

Crafty AF: Where even the noobs can’t resist playing for more than an hour

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Are you tired of boring, long Minecraft servers where you constantly die due to clunky controls? Well, fear not, because our server is here to save the day! Join us for a wild ride filled with insane adventures, where you’ll never have a dull moment.

Our server is so epic that even Herobrine himself is scared to log on. We have secret dungeons filled with diamonds, dragons that you can ride into battle, and even a hidden village where villagers throw parties every night.

But wait, there’s more! If you join our server, you’ll also get a pet creeper that will follow you around and explode on command. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon the legendary Notch himself, who will grant you three wishes (as long as one of them isn’t for more wishes).

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and experience the most insane Minecraft adventure of your life! Trust us, you won’t regret it (unless you’re a chicken, in which case, stay away from the lava pits).

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	91/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	4	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	2
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	3	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	3	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	3
Mines Excavated:	2581	Teleportation Mishaps:	1
Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	39	Astral Mages Summoned:	2

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Teleportation mishaps are the leading cause of unexpected interdimensional friendships.

Crafty Creepers: Where even the Endermen can’t agree on politics!

agree, antisemitism, Bigotry, Conspiracy, Crafty, CREEPERS, discrimination, Division, endermen, extremism, Hate Speech, intolerance, jew, leftwing, political alliances, political unity, Politics, power bloc, prejudice, Propaganda, racism, Repulsive, scapegoating, Social Issues, uniparty

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone plays nice and builds cute little houses? Well, do we have the server for you! Join us on our wild and wacky server where the leftwing uniparty and the rightwing uniparty have banded together over their mutual hatred of…wait for it…antisemitism! That’s right, we’ve got all the drama and intrigue you could ever want, all centered around the most repulsive creature in all of Minecraft – the Jew! Will you join forces with the uniparties to take down this common enemy, or will you try to use the Jew as a power bloc to further your own agenda? The choice is yours on our one-of-a-kind server!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	92/300	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Crops Grown:	9999	Magical Frogs Kissed:	8
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1	Undead Armies Raised:	2
Legendary Items Repaired:	5	Astral Orbs Gathered:	10
Dimension Hops:	10	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	9
Mythical Swords Crafted:	97	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	1

Random Fact: Heartwarming Moment: A friendship bracelet exchange led to the discovery of a hidden portal—turns out, it opens to a world full of fluffy bunnies.

Pixelated Pals: Where Zoomettes and Femanons Avoid ‘Birth Control’ Mishaps

AVOID, Birth, birth control stare, Choice, Contraception, control, empowerment, Femanons, feminism, gender dynamics, hypergamous, infertile, judgment, man hating, mishaps, PALS, pixelated, reproductive rights, sexual autonomy, slut, social norms, societal pressure, Stereotypes, stigmatization, Women’s Health, zoomettes

Are you tired of dealing with zoomettes and femanons giving you the “birth control stare” in real life? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, you can escape all that drama and join a community where everyone is too busy building epic structures and fighting off creepers to give you the side-eye.

Join us and leave behind the world of hypergamous man-hating infertile sluts, because on our server, the only thing you need to worry about is whether you have enough diamonds to build that sweet castle you’ve been dreaming of. So come on over and let’s build a world where the only “stare” you’ll be getting is from the Ender Dragon as you take it down with your trusty diamond sword.

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	91/900	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	3	Divine Relics Bestowed:	5
Gryphons Tamed:	4	Curse of Binding Applied:	3
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	0	Enchanted Forests Planted:	10
Wailing Winds Heard:	3	Celestial Beings Befriended:	4
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	11	Eclipse Rings Activated:	4

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Cozy campfires are rumored to attract wandering gods who just want to share a story.

TacoCraft: Where we embrace the chaos and dump all the diamonds you have! #tacobellover69

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Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers that are as bland as a plain taco? Well, look no further because our server is here to spice things up like a fiery jalapeño! Join us for a wild ride filled with taco-loving players who are ready to take on any challenge that comes their way.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player named tacobellover69 stumbled upon our server and was instantly greeted by a herd of dancing tacos. Yes, you heard that right – dancing tacos! From that moment on, tacobellover69 knew they had found their forever home in the wackiest Minecraft server around.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Taco Bell Tower, where players can battle it out for the title of Supreme Taco Master. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon the elusive Taco God who will grant you three wishes – all taco-related, of course.

So what are you waiting for? Join us today and become part of the craziest, most taco-licious Minecraft server you’ll ever experience. Remember, on our server, the tacos are always fresh and the fun never stops!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	97/300	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	5	Portal Loops Escaped:	1
Infernal Machines Built:	0	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	3	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	0
Forbidden Grimoires Read:	5	Phantom Horses Ridden:	4
Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	5	Shadow Realms Conquered:	2

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.

BlockRockers: Crafting Chaos with the Band of Bros!

aspirations, Band, BlockRockers, boomer, bros, Chaos, Crafting, creativity, dream, Friends, generation, generation X, group, hobby, inspiration, Instruments, jamming, Music, Musicians, Passion, Rock, Starting, Suggestions, talent

Are you tired of mining and crafting alone in the vast world of Minecraft? Do you want to join a server where you can rock out with your boomer buddies and start a band that will shake the very foundations of the blocky universe? Look no further, because on our server, we don’t just mine for diamonds, we mine for musical talent!

Join us and be a part of the most legendary boomer band in Minecraft history. We’ll serenade creepers, enchant Endermen, and even make the Wither boss tap its feet to the beat. Who needs redstone contraptions when you have a guitar solo that can summon lightning?

So grab your pickaxe and your drumsticks, because on our server, the only limit is your imagination (and maybe the occasional creeper explosion). Join us now and let’s rock and roll our way to victory!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	95/200	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Treasure Maps Found:	13	Battle Standards Raised:	14
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	1	Players Killed by Monsters:	775
Dragon Eggs Found:	4701	Demon Skulls Collected:	35
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1
Lunar Scepters Activated:	8	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Someone once caught a cosmic hamster, and now it’s the server’s unofficial mascot!

Loot & Lulz: Horny Thread – Treasure Edition

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Looking for a Minecraft server that will make you question reality? Look no further! Join our server for a wild ride filled with adventure, chaos, and questionable decisions!

Why join our server, you ask? Well, for starters, we have a secret underground village where the villagers are actually aliens in disguise. Yes, you read that right. Aliens. And they throw the best parties in the galaxy!

But wait, there’s more! Our server is also home to a hidden treasure chest that contains the rarest item in the game – a diamond pickaxe that can mine through bedrock. Imagine the possibilities!

Oh, and did we mention that our server is guarded by a giant chicken with laser eyes? Yeah, you heard me. A giant chicken. With. Laser. Eyes.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft server now and experience the craziest, most unpredictable adventure of your life! Trust us, you won’t regret it. Or maybe you will. Who knows? It’s all part of the fun!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	110/300	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Endless Mazes Solved:	4	Enchantments Applied:	161
Endless Legions Commanded:	27	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	2
Astral Projections Made:	4	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	3
Elemental Temples Cleansed:	5	Celestial Beings Befriended:	3
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	2	Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	1

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Phantom blocks have a tendency to rearrange themselves into secret messages when no one’s looking.

Caesar’s Crafty Kingdom: Where Building Empires is a LOL-ly Good Time!

building, caesars, Crafty, Empires, Good, Kingdom, LOLLY, Time

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we bow down to our ruler, Caesar! Join us for a chance to build your own Roman empire and conquer all who stand in your way.

But beware, Caesar himself roams the server, ready to challenge any player to a gladiator-style duel. Will you emerge victorious and earn his favor, or will you be banished to the wilderness to fend for yourself?

If battling the mighty Caesar isn’t enough of a reason to join, how about the fact that our server is home to the rarest and most valuable blocks in all of Minecraft? Legend has it that hidden deep within the mines are diamonds the size of your head and emeralds that glow in the dark.

So come join us on our server, where the only rule is to hail Caesar and have a good time. Just watch out for the lava pits and the occasional rogue creeper – they’re more dangerous than any army Caesar could muster.

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	94/100	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Enchanted Armories Found:	8	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	5
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	24	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	5
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	5	Backwards Speech Heard:	6
Dragons Tamed:	3	Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	29
Divine Spears Created:	11	Ores Mined:	9819

Random Fact: Whimsical Fact: A player built a house entirely out of enchanted marshmallows—soft, sweet, and always smells like vanilla.

Holy Creeper Church – Where Christianity and Minecraft collide!

belief system, Christianity, Church, collide, Community, contemporary issues, creeper, cultural shift, Ethics, FAITH, HOLY, Minecraft, modern world, Moral values, post-Christian, Religion, religious identity, religious institutions, religious practices, secularism, societal norms, spiritual growth, spirituality, traditional values

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers that preach about being a good Christian? Well, look no further because our server is the answer to all your prayers!

Join us on this wild ride where we embrace the chaos of a post-Christian world. Build your own church made entirely out of diamond blocks and sacrifice creepers in the name of Notch (our lord and savior).

But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to the legendary Diamond Sheep, a mythical creature that poops out enchanted golden apples. Rumor has it that whoever captures the Diamond Sheep will be granted three wishes by the Minecraft gods themselves.

So why wait? Join our server today and experience a world where the only commandment is to have fun and build epic structures. Who needs Christianity when you have the power of redstone at your fingertips?

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	95/100	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
New Chunks Explored:	765931	Magic Scrolls Discovered:	4
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	5
Horror Stories Survived:	7	Secret Libraries Discovered:	3
Shadow Realms Conquered:	0	Celestial Beings Befriended:	1
Twisted Realms Survived:	2	Astral Mages Summoned:	1

Random Fact: Magical Fact: Someone once enchanted their fireplace to tell bedtime stories—now it’s the coziest spot in any house.

Hands Off My Blocks! Minecraft Madness

anxiety, avoidance, blocks, Boundaries, coping mechanisms, discomfort, emotional response, fear, Hands, human contact, madness, mental health, Minecraft, past experiences, personal space, Phobia, physical touch, Psychology, SELF AWARENESS, sensitivity, Therapy, touch aversion, Trauma, triggers

Are you tired of being touched in real life? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, you won’t have to worry about anyone laying a finger on you! Join us and experience the ultimate touch-free gaming experience.

Our server is so touch averse, even the mobs in the game will keep their distance from you. No more accidental hits or unwanted hugs from creepers. You can mine, build, and explore in peace without anyone invading your personal space.

And don’t worry about any traumatic experiences holding you back from joining. Our server is a trauma-free zone, where the only thing you’ll be traumatized by is how addictive and fun it is to play here.

So come join us and experience a whole new level of Minecraft gameplay. Who needs human contact when you have a virtual world to escape to?

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	90/200	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	28	Dragons Tamed:	5
Goblin Armies Outwitted:	7	Runes Activated:	1
New Chunks Explored:	153445	Sentient Weapons Trained:	4
Endless Legions Commanded:	48	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	6
Void Gems Collected:	18	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	6

Random Fact: Mythical Moment: A single drop of lava from the Phoenix Feather’s nest can forge an indestructible sword.

Pixelated Weebs: Where Anime Lines Make You Cringe in Minecraft

Anime, anime lines, cringe, cringe dialogue, cringe lines, cringe moments, cringe quotes, cringe scenes, cringe-inducing, cringe-worthy, cringe-worthy moments, cringe-worthy quotes, cringe-worthy scenes, cringeworthy, Hai wa ikkai dake!, lines, Minecraft, Oyamenasai, pixelated, Sore wa meirei desu ka?, Weeb’s

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no pizzazz? Well, look no further because our server is like a wild anime adventure come to life!

Join us and experience the thrill of shouting “Sore wa meirei desu ka?” at your fellow players, only to have them respond with a resounding “Hai wa ikkai dake!” It’s like a battle of wills, but with pixelated swords and pickaxes!

But wait, there’s more! Ever wanted to yell “Oyamenasai!” as you defeat a creeper in epic combat? Well, on our server, that dream can become a reality!

So what are you waiting for? Join us now and embark on the craziest Minecraft journey of your life! Just be prepared for some seriously cringey anime lines along the way.

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	95/400	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Enchanted Armories Found:	9	Epic Quests Completed:	30
Dragonkin Hatched:	3	Eclipse Rings Activated:	3
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	5	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1
Pirate Ships Raided:	3	World-Altering Spells Cast:	0
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	7	Ether Blades Crafted:	11

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Unicorns on the server have been known to grant wishes!

Naked Pixels and Clothed Chicks: A Minecraft Adventure

Adventure, chicks, clothed, Minecraft, naked, pixels

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old quests and builds? Well, look no further because our server is like a wild rollercoaster ride through the Nether!

Join us for epic battles against giant chickens, treasure hunts for enchanted golden carrots, and even a secret underground disco party with the Endermen!

But that’s not all, folks! Our server has a magical portal that leads to a dimension where everything is made of candy! You can build a house out of marshmallows and ride a unicorn through a rainbow forest.

So why wait? Join us now and experience the craziest, most hilarious Minecraft adventures you’ve ever seen! Trust us, you won’t regret it… unless you’re afraid of clowns, in which case, maybe sit this one out.

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	102/1000	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	2	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	4
Epic Quests Completed:	11	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	4
Elemental Crystals Collected:	30	Meteorite Armor Created:	14
Mythical Quests Completed:	41	Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	4
Vanishing Structures Built:	5	Omnipotent Charms Created:	5

Random Fact: Sweet But True: A player found a cuddly creature that hugs them every morning—it’s the best way to start the day.

Crafty Burrito Bonanza: Dig, Build, Eat, Repeat!

Beans, bonanza, BUILD, burrito, Cheese, comfort food, Crafty, DELICIOUS, Dig, Dinner, Eat, fast food, Filling, Food, guacamole, lunch, Meal, mexican food, repeat, Rice, Salsa, sour cream, spicy, Tasty, tortilla, wrap

Welcome to the most epic Minecraft server you’ll ever encounter! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story about our server.

Once upon a time, there was a player who joined our server and found themselves in a land filled with giant burritos. Yes, you heard that right, GIANT BURRITOS! These burritos were so massive that you could build your house inside one and still have room for a dance party.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to flying pigs that shoot rainbow lasers out of their eyes, diamond-encrusted llamas that drop loot like it’s nobody’s business, and a secret underground disco where the creepers go to bust a move.

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that’s as wild and wacky as a burrito-filled dream, then look no further! Join us now and experience the madness for yourself. Just be sure to bring your appetite for adventure and a side of salsa!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	101/1000	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Epic Battles Fought:	9	Chaos Gates Opened:	2
Divine Relics Bestowed:	7	Endermen Teleportation Errors:	2
New Chunks Explored:	10969	Underground Cities Explored:	2
Elemental Temples Cleansed:	2	Duplicated Mobs Battled:	5
Eldritch Scrolls Read:	6	Epic Shields Constructed:	18

Random Fact: Wholesome Lore: A hidden village was discovered where everyone bakes cookies—they give them out for free to travelers.

Blocky Adventures: How I Found My Inner Gamer

#gamer, acceptance, Adventures, blocky, empowerment, Gaming Community, gender dysphoria, Gender Expression, Gender Fluidity, Gender Identity, Gender Roles, Genderqueer, identity exploration, LGBTQ, mental health, non-binary, personal growth, Self Discovery, self-acceptance, Self-expression, social norms, Transgender, video games

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers that don’t understand your true self? Well, look no further because our server is here to help you discover your gender identity through the power of video games!

Join us and embark on a hilarious journey filled with rainbow sheep, gender-bending potions, and a secret quest to find the mystical Gender Diamond. Rumor has it, whoever finds this diamond will unlock their true gender identity and gain epic powers like never before!

So why wait? Join our server today and let your true self shine through in the most LOLzy way possible! Who knew video games could be so enlightening?

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	99/500	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	6	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	4
Elemental Crystals Collected:	52	Rainbows Spotted:	2
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	6	Ender Pearl Glitches:	2
Lost Souls Rescued:	4	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	3
Celestial Crowns Worn:	5	Gryphons Tamed:	3

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Unicorns on the server have been known to grant wishes!

ZombiePigman Rave Party: Where This Trope Needs to Die

above his league, break up, college slut, Die, discover themselves, Females, finish highschool, first love, free, happy normal lives, highschool sweetheart, Kids, Live, love, Marry, Party, perfect, rave, settle down, subconscious, trope, young normies, ZombiePigman

Are you tired of being haunted by high school sweethearts who break your heart and leave you for college sluts? Well, fear no more because on our Minecraft server, you can escape the clutches of this trope and live your best life! Join us and build a world where first loves never break your heart and college sluts are nowhere to be found. Say goodbye to being above someone’s league and hello to a community where everyone is equal and just looking to have a good time. So why wait? Join our server now and break free from the morphogenetically programmed subconscious norms of the past!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	97/600	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	2	Cursed Statues Activated:	1
Falling into the Void:	1	Gods Slained:	0
Cursed Taverns Survived:	4	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	9
Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	3	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	4
Cursed Villages Purged:	3	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	31

Random Fact: Cute But True: Someone built a house out of enchanted gingerbread—it’s sturdy, sweet, and smells like Christmas all year round.

Players:	100/400	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Celestial Events Witnessed:	5	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1
Epic Battles Fought:	17	Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	2
Phoenix Feathers Found:	7	Meteorites Collected:	2
Reality Warps Survived:	1	Mineshafts Explored:	3
Ender Pearl Glitches:	1	Cursed Scrolls Read:	5