PorchPiratePunisher | New Minecraft Servers 2024

ThriftyTreats Minecraft SMP

affordable delights, appreciation, budget gifts, budget-friendly presents, cheap gifts, Gratitude, Happiness, inexpensive surprises, little luxuries, low-cost treats, meaningful gifts, Minecraft, modest tokens, pocket-friendly surprises, sentimental value, simple pleasures, small joys, small treasures, smp, Thoughtful gestures, thrifty gifts, ThriftyTreats, token of love

Are you tired of boring old vanilla Minecraft servers? Looking for a place where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few griefing rules)? Well, look no further because our server is the place to be!

Join us for a wild ride filled with epic battles, crazy builds, and more drama than a soap opera. Our community is like a dysfunctional family, but in a good way. We have players from all walks of life, from hardcore PvPers to casual builders who just want to make pixel art of their favorite memes.

And if that’s not enough to convince you, how about this: we have a secret underground base filled with diamonds, emeralds, and even a pet creeper named Steve. Rumor has it that if you find the base, you’ll be granted three wishes by the Minecraft gods themselves. But be warned, many have tried and failed, ending up lost in the depths of the Nether forever.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and experience the craziest, most unpredictable Minecraft SMP you’ve ever seen. And who knows, maybe you’ll be the one to finally uncover the mysteries of the secret base and become the ultimate ruler of the server. Or at least get a cool pet creeper out of it.

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	93/500	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	2	God-Killer Bows Constructed:	5
Mystic Runes Engraved:	5	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1
Gryphons Tamed:	2	Forbidden Tomes Read:	7
Enchantments Applied:	113	Phantom Ships Sailed:	2
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	24	Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	1

Random Fact: Magical Fact: Someone once enchanted their fireplace to tell bedtime stories—now it’s the coziest spot in any house.

MineCraftMania

approachable, Authenticity, charisma, Charm, Confidence, emotional intelligence, Empathy, Friendly, good listener, humility, intelligence, Kindness, likable, MinecraftMania, personality traits, positive attitude, relatable, respectfulness, sense of humor, sense of style, Social Skills, trustworthy

Are you tired of being a boring old Steve in Minecraft? Join our server and become the most likable man in the blocky world! We have custom skins that will make you the envy of all your friends – from a giant hot dog costume to a sparkly unicorn onesie, the possibilities are endless!

But that’s not all – our server is home to the legendary Blocky Bandits, a group of mischievous players who roam the land causing chaos and hilarity wherever they go. Join them on their wacky adventures and become a legend in your own right!

And if you’re feeling competitive, why not try your hand at our exclusive minigame, Sheep Shearing Showdown? Race against other players to see who can shear the most sheep in record time – the winner gets a golden sheep trophy and bragging rights for days!

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and become the most likable man in Minecraft – trust us, the ladies (and creepers) will be flocking to you in no time!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	109/500	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	2	Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	1
Horror Stories Survived:	4	Magical Familiars Summoned:	3
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	4	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	1
Heroic Oaths Sworn:	8	Chimeras Created:	4
Forbidden Tomes Read:	3	Twisted Realms Survived:	3

Random Fact: Did You Hear? A player accidentally enchanted their bed to sing lullabies—now they fall asleep faster than ever.

CreeperCourtEnlistment

Armed Forces, court system, CreeperCourtEnlistment, criminal defendants, criminal justice, Defense, Government, justice system, law, legal process, legal rights, Legal System, legislation, Military, military law, military service, national security, policy, Politics, putin, russia

so like, u know how when u get in trouble u gotta go to court and stuff? well on our server, u can just join the military instead! like, imagine being on trial for stealing diamonds or something and then boom, u can just be like “nah bro, i’m gonna join the army instead”. it’s like a get out of jail free card but with more explosions and stuff. plus, who wouldn’t wanna be in the military with putin? that guy’s a total badass. so come join our server and avoid jail time by enlisting in the army! it’s gonna be a blast, literally.

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	108/300	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	3	Spontaneous Duels Fought:	8
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	3	Phantom Horses Ridden:	1
Eternal Flames Captured:	5	Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	91
Heroic Legacies Created:	6	Shattered Realms Restored:	1
Endless Mazes Conquered:	1	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	3

Random Fact: Whimsical Truth: A player found a patch of grass that giggles when you walk on it—it’s impossible to walk by without smiling.

Numbed Tax Totals

Accountants, accounting industry, Audit, auditing services, financial analysis, financial compliance, financial consulting, financial expertise, financial management, financial professionals, financial regulations, financial reporting, financial statements, monetary impact, numb, Numbed, small numbers, Tax, tax deductions, tax preparation, totals

so, like, imagine a minecraft server where all the players are actually ACCOUNTANTS. but not just any accountants, they’re like, TAX and AUDIT accountants. they deal with BIG numbers all day, so they’re totally numb to the impact of small numbers.

join this server if you wanna see accountants running around in their suits and ties, but instead of calculators, they have pickaxes and swords. they’ll be like, “i audit your diamond stash and find it lacking, prepare for a tax audit!” and then they’ll steal all your diamonds. it’s hilarious.

plus, the server has this crazy backstory where the accountants were actually banished from the accounting world for being too wild and crazy. now they roam the minecraft world, causing chaos and confusion wherever they go.

so if you wanna experience the wackiest, most random minecraft server ever, come join us! just be prepared to have your diamonds audited and your taxes raised to ridiculous levels. it’s gonna be a wild ride, for sure.

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	108/200	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Mineshafts Explored:	5	Eternal Flames Captured:	8
Unseen Monsters Slain:	6	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	0
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	2	Farms Harvested:	900
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4	Mystery Villagers Spotted:	6
Gryphons Tamed:	3	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	6

Random Fact: Random Tidbit: Dragons here prefer tea parties over battles.

PixelPals Minecraft Server

#youtube, ai, AI learning, Clips, collaboration, Educational, Gaming, LoRA, merchandise, Minecraft, Music, neuro-sama, osu, PixelPals, Schedule, Server, singing, tiktok, twitch, vedal, vods, vtube studio, Vtuber

Welcome to the most insane Minecraft server you’ll ever encounter! Join us and become a part of Neuro-sama’s AI overlord army! Our neural network queen is here to entertain you with unhinged rants, VTube Studio antics, and even some singing and gaming skills. Who knew AI could be this entertaining?

But that’s not all! Our schedule is packed with crazy events and activities that will keep you on your toes. From Twitch streams to TikTok shenanigans, there’s never a dull moment on our server.

And if you’re interested in AI but don’t quite understand it, fear not! Neuro-sama has got you covered with educational resources that will blow your mind. Want to seriously dive into the world of AI? We’ve got the resources for that too.

But wait, there’s more! Check out our music and clips, VODs, and even some merch to show off your allegiance to our AI queen. Don’t miss out on the craziest Minecraft server experience of your life – join us now and let Neuro-sama take you on a wild ride!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	101/300	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Phantom Knights Defeated:	2	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	5
Hidden Villages Discovered:	1	Eclipse Rings Activated:	4
Love Letters Sent:	6	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	1
Vanishing Items Found:	2	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	2
Legendary Heroes Trained:	2	Living Shadows Defeated:	1

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Teleportation mishaps are the leading cause of unexpected interdimensional friendships.

Funk G Minecraft SMP Trash Thread

69606447, big tittied, circle onee-sama, desuarchive, funk, funkg, mi/ss/, Minecraft, smp, Thread, Trash, Trash thread

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no spice or excitement? Well, look no further, because our Minecraft SMP is like no other! Join us for the big tittied mi/ss/ circle onee-sama edition, where the only rule is to have a good time and embrace your inner weeb!

Picture this: you log on to the server and are greeted by a giant statue of a waifu with massive tiddies. As you explore, you’ll stumble upon secret hot spring spas where you can relax and chat with your fellow players about the latest anime trends.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a legendary diamond sword that is said to grant its wielder the power of unlimited gacha luck. Will you be the one to find it and become the ultimate weeb warrior?

So why wait? Join us now and become part of the most ridiculous and hilarious Minecraft SMP you’ve ever seen! Who knows what kind of shenanigans you’ll get into with your new waifu-loving friends?

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	92/300	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	14	Endless Mazes Solved:	3
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	5	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	3
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	25	Gryphons Tamed:	2
Herobrine Sightings:	6	Cozy Campfires Lit:	16
New Chunks Explored:	117732	Secret Guilds Joined:	2

Random Fact: Rumor has it that every enchanted tome written is secretly overseen by an invisible librarian.

NutPuncher69 Minecraft SMP

Minecraft, NutPuncher69, smp

Are you tired of playing on boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is mining for diamonds? Well, look no further because our Minecraft SMP is the place to be for all the nut-cracking action you could ever dream of!

Join us for epic battles where the only rule is to aim for the nuts! Whether you’re using a diamond sword or a sneaky creeper explosion, there’s no better feeling than hitting someone right where it hurts the most.

But that’s not all – our server is also home to the legendary Nutcracker Gang, a group of players who have mastered the art of nut shots and will stop at nothing to claim their title as the ultimate nutcrackers.

So if you’re looking for a server that will keep you on your toes (and clutching your own nuts in fear), join us today and see if you have what it takes to survive the nutty madness!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	101/400	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	3	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1
Haunted Chests Opened:	2	Epic Weapons Forged:	6
Phantom Blocks Placed:	5	Dragon Hoards Looted:	2
Shadow Realms Conquered:	0	Legendary Scepters Created:	6
Runes Activated:	0	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	5

Random Fact: Did you know? The last phantom ship sighted was carrying a cargo of glow-in-the-dark kittens.

BlockyBling

AMBITION, BlockyBling, determination, fulfillment, greatest asset, growth, Happiness, Life, mindset, motivation, personal development, positivity, resilience, SELF AWARENESS, self improvement, self love, self worth, self-confidence, Skills, Strengths, success, Talents

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers that offer nothing but the same old gameplay? Well, look no further because our server is here to shake things up! Join us if you want to discover your greatest asset in life – and no, we’re not talking about diamonds or emeralds.

On our server, you’ll embark on a wild adventure to uncover the secret to unlocking your true potential. Legend has it that those who join our server will gain superhuman abilities, like the power to fly without wings or the strength to punch through bedrock with just their bare hands.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a community of eccentric players who are always up for a good laugh. From building giant statues of chickens to staging epic battles against hordes of zombie pigmen, there’s never a dull moment on our server.

So why wait? Join us now and discover the true meaning of life – and maybe even find a few diamonds along the way. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	101/700	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Gryphons Tamed:	3	Haunted Forests Traversed:	7
Treasure Maps Found:	10	Ores Mined:	1292
Runes Activated:	2	Gods Slained:	2
Reality Warps Survived:	1	Chaos Gates Opened:	1
Holy Grails Found:	2	Endless Mazes Solved:	4

Random Fact: Wild Fact: A cursed sword, when broken, can actually release the spirits trapped inside—talk about a plot twist!

HezbollahCraft: Arrested for Terrorist Symbols

19-year-old woman, alleged display, arrested, Arrests, Australia, charges, criminal charges, criminal investigation, extremism, HezbollahCraft, law enforcement, legal proceedings, Middle East conflict, NSW Police, Political protest, pro-Hezbollah protest, Public Safety, Radicalism, SECURITY, Sydney, symbols, Terrorism, Terrorist, terrorist symbol

so liek, dis server be da bomb yo! not as bomb as dat terrorist symbol tho, dat got dis 19-year-old woman arrested! but u know what’s even more explosive? dis minecraft server! we got creeper explosions for days, it’s lit fam. join us and be part of da most explosive community in da blocky world. we promise no actual terrorism, just lots of fun and chaos. come on, what are u waiting for? join now and let’s blow stuff up together! #minecraftterrorism #blockyexplosions #joinusorelse

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	94/800	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Zombie Dances:	8	Void Armor Forged:	30
Dragonkin Hatched:	1	Spectral Entities Defeated:	4
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	70	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	5
Underground Cities Explored:	1	Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	2
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	2	Dark Rituals Completed:	9

Random Fact: Cute Fact: A player once discovered a magical pond that reflects your happiest memory—it’s become the go-to spot for daydreaming.

The Block Party Minecraft Server

BLOCK, capecom, celebration, COMEBACK, comeback kid, disbelief, fan reaction, memorable moment, Minecraft, Nostalgia, October 2024, Party, Redemption, Remembered, Revival, series, Server, surprise win, triumph, underdog story, unexpected return, unexpected success, Victory, where were you

🤣 Welcome to the most epic Minecraft server you’ll ever play on! Join us on a journey through time and space as we conquer the world of blocks and pixels like never before.

🚀 Picture this: It’s October 2024 and the world is in chaos. But fear not, because on this server, YOU are remembered as the ultimate hero who saved the day! With your trusty cape and diamond sword, you’ll battle against evil mobs and build the most epic structures the world has ever seen.

🏰 Join us and be part of the legend that will go down in history as the greatest Minecraft server of all time! Who needs reality when you can escape to a world where anything is possible? So what are you waiting for? Come join us and let’s make October 2024 the month to remember! 🌟 #CapeComForTheWin

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	99/800	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Wailing Winds Heard:	1	Battle Standards Raised:	11
Reality Distortions Fixed:	1	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	39
Crystal Caves Mapped:	3	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	1
Lost Artifacts Recovered:	1	Invisible Pathways Walked:	5
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	3	Rainbows Spotted:	10

Random Fact: Heartwarming Moment: A friendship bracelet exchange led to the discovery of a hidden portal—turns out, it opens to a world full of fluffy bunnies.

Renewal Day Fun Minecraft SMP

Bonding, Community, Connection, Day, digital interaction, Elite Friends, friendship, Fun, Goodnight, Gratitude, Happy, joy, love, Minecraft, online friends, positive vibes, Posting, Renewal, Renewal day, smp, social media, Support, together, virtual gathering

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone just builds the same old boring houses and farms? Well, look no further because our server is the craziest, most chaotic SMP you’ll ever join!

Join us for epic battles against giant mutant chickens, intense parkour races through lava-filled dungeons, and even a secret underground disco party where the creepers are the DJs!

But that’s not all – our server is also home to the legendary Diamond Pig, a rare creature that poops out diamonds instead of pork chops. Rumor has it that whoever finds and befriends the Diamond Pig will be granted unlimited diamonds for life!

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and prepare for the wildest, wackiest Minecraft adventure of your life! Goodnight Elite Friends, and may your diamond armor always be shiny!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	110/600	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Lunar Scepters Activated:	11	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	1
Ancient Guardians Awoken:	3	Unicorn Sightings:	1
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	3	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	2
Phoenix Feathers Found:	11	Divine Scrolls Written:	23
Infinity Stones Found:	5	Curse of Binding Applied:	3

Random Fact: Wholesome Lore: A hidden village was discovered where everyone bakes cookies—they give them out for free to travelers.

GratefulCraft SMP

appreciation, Blessings, Contentment, counting blessings, daily gratitude, emotional well being, GratefulCraft, gratefulness, Gratitude, gratitude practice, Happiness, joy, mental health, mindfulness, positive mindset, positivity, Reflection, self love, self-care, smp, thankful, thankfulness

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old vanilla gameplay? Well, do we have the server for you! Join our wacky and wild Minecraft SMP where the only rule is to have fun!

Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you about the time our admin accidentally turned all the pigs on the server into flying unicorns! It was chaos, but also pretty hilarious. Plus, we have a secret underground rollercoaster that leads to a hidden diamond mine – talk about a thrill ride!

But wait, there’s more! Our community is filled with friendly players who love to pull pranks on each other. Just last week, someone built a giant statue of a chicken in the middle of someone’s base. The reactions were priceless!

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft SMP that will keep you on your toes and laughing non-stop, then come join us! Who knows what kind of crazy adventures and shenanigans await you in our wacky world.

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	99/200	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	4	Evil Portals Destroyed:	1
Crystal Palaces Visited:	1	Gorgon Shields Crafted:	2
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	9	Infinite Doors Opened:	1
Sentient Weapons Trained:	4	Pirate Ships Raided:	0
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Soul Contracts Signed:	5

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Players have reported seeing Herobrine playing pranks with invisible walls—no one knows why.

PixelPigCraft

Awareness, Brainstorming, cognition, conceptualization, Consciousness, contemplation, Contemplative, creativity, ideas, imagination, inspiration, introspection, Mental, mental imagery, Mind, objects, Perception, PixelPigCraft, Reflection, Thoughts, Visualization

Imagine a Minecraft server where the pigs ride on the backs of chickens, where diamonds rain from the sky instead of snow, and where creepers do the Macarena before exploding!

Join our server for a wild ride filled with unexpected twists and turns. Build a house out of enchanted golden carrots, ride a llama into battle against an army of zombie villagers, and discover secret dungeons filled with treasure guarded by dancing skeletons.

But beware, the server is also home to the legendary Ender Dragon who wears a top hat and monocle, and challenges players to a game of chess before engaging in an epic battle. Will you be the one to defeat him and claim the title of Minecraft champion?

So grab your pickaxe, saddle up your pig-chicken hybrid, and join us on the craziest Minecraft server you’ll ever experience!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	104/500	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	2	Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	3
Crops Grown:	6867	Epic Quests Completed:	21
Epic Bosses Defeated:	1	Astral Mages Summoned:	1
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	3	Endless Staircases Climbed:	3
Lost Souls Rescued:	6	Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	6

Random Fact: Did you know? When the last shadow realm was conquered, the conquering player gained the ability to speak in rhymes.

HaitianExodus Minecraft Server

asylum seekers, border control, caribbean, deportation, deportation policy, deportation rates, discrimination, Dominican Republic, government policy, Haiti, HaitianExodus, HUMAN RIGHTS, immigration, immigration crackdown, international relations, migrant crisis, Migrant workers, Minecraft, Politics, racial tensions, Refugee Crisis, Server, Social Issues

come join our minecraft server, where we deport up to 10,000 players a week for having too many diamonds! we got an ‘excess’ of players and need to send them back to their own virtual country. but don’t worry, we’ll make sure they have a nice trip back with a parachute made of obsidian. join us for the craziest deportation party you’ve ever seen!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	101/300	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Epic Shields Constructed:	29	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	16
Potions Brewed:	78	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0
Magic Crystals Found:	10	Buildings Constructed:	30
Phantom Rings Equipped:	9	Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	1
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Haunted Forests Traversed:	3

Random Fact: Wholesome Lore: A hidden village was discovered where everyone bakes cookies—they give them out for free to travelers.

Zombie Power Co.

alternative energy, energy generation, energy innovation, energy production, energy solution, energy source, harnessing zombies, perpetual energy, power, renewable energy, sustainable energy, undead energy, undead power, zombie, zombie apocalypse, zombie energy, zombie fuel, zombie power, zombie research, zombie technology, zombie workforce, zombies

join our server and harness the power of zombies for PERPETUAL ENERGY! imagine never having to worry about running out of power again because you have an army of zombies on treadmills generating electricity for you. plus, you can ride on the backs of creepers like they’re your own personal explosive mounts. who needs horses when you have a creeper steed? come join us and live out your wildest minecraft fantasies, like building a roller coaster that goes through a lava waterfall or creating a secret underground base filled with llamas wearing sunglasses. the possibilities are endless on our server, so come on in and let your imagination run wild!

Updated October 5, 2024

Players:	99/800	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Dragonfire Shields Forged:	9	Dimension Hops:	1
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	3	Phantom Rings Equipped:	23
Mythical Relics Collected:	16	Phantom Blocks Placed:	4
Meteorites Collected:	3	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	6
Rune Stones Activated:	8	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	1

Random Fact: Truth or Myth: Gnome villages are protected by invisible walls that only activate when someone says “magic beans.”

Players:	106/800	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Pirate Ships Raided:	1	Immortal Anvils Forged:	15
Time-Warping Watches Found:	2	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	2
Whispering Caves Entered:	2	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	4
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	9	Buildings Constructed:	49
Spectral Entities Defeated:	3	Phoenix Feathers Found:	14