so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 16, 2024

Players: 105/1000 Uptime: 97%
Rating: 4.8 / 5
Vampire Cloaks Sewn: 1 Magic Items Found: 7498
Portal Loops Escaped: 2 Forbidden Doors Opened: 2
Alternate Realities Explored: 5 Haunted Strongholds Conquered: 5
Eclipse Rings Activated: 2 Shadow Wolves Tamed: 2
Enchanted Teapots Collected: 18 Ethereal Dreams Experienced: 15

Random Fact: Did you hear? The most powerful magic item found this week was a spoon that can bend reality.

New Minecraft Servers