so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 18, 2024

Players: 103/300 Uptime: 96%
Rating: 4.6 / 5
Talking Trees Consulted: 5 Eerie Music Discs Played: 3
Wilderness Tamed: 20 Dimensional Rifts Closed: 3
Mystical Amulets Crafted: 32 Living Shadows Defeated: 2
Goblin Markets Raided: 5 Eternal Flames Captured: 4
Crystal Palaces Visited: 3 Wishing Wells Wished Upon: 12

Random Fact: Insider Secret: Players who solve unsolvable puzzles are said to unlock the ability to talk to fish.

New Minecraft Servers