so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 18, 2024

Players: 97/200 Uptime: 98%
Rating: 4.2 / 5
Chimeras Created: 1 Giant Mushrooms Cultivated: 7
Astral Mages Summoned: 3 Witch’s Brew Drunk: 18
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown: 4 Mythical Creatures Tamed: 1
Epic Weapons Forged: 2 Goblin Markets Raided: 4
Unique Catgirls Spotted: 12 Inverted Worlds Discovered: 0

Random Fact: Magical Fact: A player once brewed a potion that turned their pet into a talking companion—it always knows just what to say.

New Minecraft Servers