What The Fuck Is He Talking About Minecraft SMP

Absurdity, BIZARRE, confusion, deep thoughts, disbelief, Enigma, existential crisis, fuck, immovable object, incomprehension, mind-bending, mind-boggling, Minecraft, Nonsensical, Paradox, perplexing, philosophical musings, puzzling, questioning reality, smp, strange, surreal, Talking, unstoppable force

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where the laws of physics are just a suggestion and the sky is the limit… literally! Join us and experience the thrill of hanging from the sky like a majestic bat, defying gravity with your sheer awesomeness.

But that’s not all! Our server is home to the legendary Blocky Bob, a mysterious figure who roams the land in search of the rarest diamonds and the dankest memes. Will you be able to track him down and uncover the secrets of his power? Only time will tell.

So why join our Minecraft SMP, you ask? Well, where else can you ride a pig into battle against a horde of zombie chickens, build a house out of enchanted cheese, and challenge a llama to a dance-off for the title of Disco King? Only on our server, where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few server rules, but who’s counting?).

So what are you waiting for? Join us today and embark on the wildest, craziest, most ridiculous Minecraft adventure of your life! Hang from the sky, ride pigs, battle zombie chickens, and become the ultimate Disco King. The fun never stops on our server!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	90/100	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3	Cursed Taverns Survived:	2
Epic Mounts Acquired:	5	Alternate Realities Explored:	1
Enchanted Forests Planted:	12	Herobrine Sightings:	0
Unseen Monsters Slain:	8	Undead Armies Raised:	2
Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	3	Gryphons Tamed:	3

Random Fact: Wild Fact: A cursed sword, when broken, can actually release the spirits trapped inside—talk about a plot twist!

SpongeCraft

Economy, Survival, Towny

Custom Enchants, Multi SlimeFun Addons, in-game ranks, and more!ABOUT US:A new server, with a community rooted from over 6 years back, SpongeCraft is a close knit and active group of people that offers an experience like no other! We welcomes people of all ages, backgrounds, and interests, so you’re sure to meet many new friends. SpongeCraft is a friendly, mature SMP type server with many unique perks you’ll love and enjoy with a large focus on the community!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	98/300	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	28	Epic Battles Fought:	7
Mineshafts Explored:	5	Mystic Runes Engraved:	2
Eldritch Scrolls Read:	2	Wyrmholes Dug:	2
Endless Legions Commanded:	49	Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	0
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	4	Elemental Temples Cleansed:	3

Random Fact: Heartwarming Fact: A player once found a cozy campfire that tells bedtime stories—perfect for winding down after a day of quests.

Nest GSG

Economy, MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

The GSG Network is in an incredible phase!! Forget everything you’ve heard about the network in the past and come give your future favorite server a try.Currently, the Águia Server – 1.20+ is active The server is cross-platform – Java and Bedrock Survival mode with 3 different worlds to choose from Exclusive perks available in each world Box system with new arrivals per season Tournament System Ground Protection System VIP system mcMMO skills Clan System with War Event

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	104/400	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	11	Fairy Circles Danced In:	6
Secret Passages Found:	6	Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	8
Underground Cities Explored:	3	Dark Rituals Completed:	7
Crops Grown:	3508	Unicorn Sightings:	1
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	2

Random Fact: Did you hear? A player once rode a unicorn straight into a dimension hop, and they haven’t stopped laughing since.

KoalaServers

Creative, Cross-Play, MCMMO, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

Welcome, our aim is for a close to vanilla taste, but with the added flavor of jobs, economy, player ran shops, and warps. We are generous with claim blocks too as we feel it’s fair to allow players to protect their bases no matter how big the project! Come join our chill community and enjoy some unique Aussie ranks!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	92/1000	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Divine Scrolls Written:	23	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	3
Inverted Worlds Discovered:	1	Heroic Legacies Created:	2
Void Armor Forged:	18	Mystery Villagers Spotted:	2
Astral Orbs Gathered:	13	Battle Standards Raised:	11
Wyrmholes Dug:	8	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	5

Random Fact: Wild But True: Someone actually summoned an Eldritch Beast using nothing but friendship bracelets!

AstraMC

Cross-Play, Economy, Parkour, PvE, Survival, Vanilla

– Cute pets that will follow you around, you can ride and have skill trees! – We have a premium land claiming plugin with extreme customization for better protection – We have tag’s to show off some style and some new cosmetics in the works as well~ – Farming and player based economy! Farm to become the richest on the server or make a shop and join the kings of the economy – Skill’s for those that like a little bit of a rpg twist on their favorite game~ – New collectible’s each month, if you get lucky you can sell them for millions later – Amazing events hosted throughout the year for all to participate in! – Active staff members, owners and mangement as well as active socials and one or two small content creators! – Currently in the works of working on turning into a server network with multiple gamemodes and something for everyone to enjoy~

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	109/100	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Celestial Gardens Planted:	2	Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	0
Endless Mazes Solved:	3	Endless Mazes Conquered:	2
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Mythical Swords Crafted:	95
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	56	Arcane Towers Raised:	2
Heroic Oaths Sworn:	12	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	2

Random Fact: Whimsical Truth: A player found a patch of grass that giggles when you walk on it—it’s impossible to walk by without smiling.

Phloxnew

Cross-Play, Economy, Survival

Phlox is a newly opened no-grief Survival server that offers many custom-made features to make your playing experience better. Play alone or create a guild with your friends! We have a chill and welcoming community, and we hope to see you soon!You can also vote for us to rank up in-game!Bedrock IP: play.phloxmc.net:19132

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	93/500	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Fabled Crowns Discovered:	9	Living Shadows Defeated:	3
Warlock Amulets Crafted:	4	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	3
Forbidden Relics Collected:	4	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	1
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	73	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	11
Magical Ponies Rescued:	5	Shadow Figures Spotted:	10

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Players have reported seeing Herobrine playing pranks with invisible walls—no one knows why.

Mythical Empires Server

MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival

-= Mythical Empires =- – Money and Tokens – Kingdoms – Jobs – Skills – Dungeons – Pets – Amazing Enchants – Boosters – Auctions – Events – Discord Support – Active staff – Friendly community

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	90/900	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	8	Evil Portals Destroyed:	1
Phantom Rings Equipped:	24	Mythical Swords Crafted:	85
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	2	Mythical Creatures Tamed:	3
Gryphons Tamed:	4	Teleportation Mishaps:	3
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	1	Cursed Swords Broken:	1

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.

TrekCraft

Economy, MCMMO, PvE, Survival, Towny

TrekCraft is not any ordinary server, we are a committed Towny/Survival server with tons of extra plugins to enhance your experience at TrekCraft. Our towny server is a welcoming community where you can build and play with minimal drama. We include Mcmmo, LWC, Jobs, awesome custom boss mobs, ArtMap and much more. Here at TC we have a friendly community that takes part in events every week and an all player staff that will help you through any situation. We’ve been around since 2014 so you know that you can trust us to last. When you find yourself on TrekCraft you feel like you are part of the family, and that is exactly what we want you to feel.Take time today and come join us at mc.TrekCraft.net You can also visit our website at http://www.trekcraft.ca/Minecraft is an adventure, Trek it. -TC2014 Website: http://www.trekcraft.ca/

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	94/100	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Crystal Wands Charged:	18	Chimeras Created:	1
Phantom Ships Sailed:	2	Gorgon Shields Crafted:	3
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	2	Epic Bosses Defeated:	1
Endless Staircases Climbed:	1	Dragonkin Hatched:	5
Eclipse Rings Activated:	1	Whispering Caves Entered:	7

Random Fact: Adorable Truth: A kitten was found napping inside an enchanted book—it now helps with all reading-related quests.

NeonGamer Network – Nova Capital

Economy, MCMMO, PvP, Roleplay, Survival, Vanilla

A survival with several well-known successful elements: McMMO Store system System of Spawners VIP system Clan System PvP, build, spleef and other events Box and key system cash system Awards for the top of the server Key reward for time online with /prewards E + a system of creative ideas with a Hunger Games theme

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	102/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	4	Immortal Potions Brewed:	10
Astral Orbs Gathered:	16	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	7
Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	10	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	6
Divine Relics Bestowed:	14	Infernal Machines Built:	2
Forbidden Tomes Read:	6	Sentient Weapons Trained:	2

Random Fact: Did You Hear? A player accidentally enchanted their bed to sing lullabies—now they fall asleep faster than ever.

Ranch N Craft

Economy, MCMMO, Roleplay, Survival

Also available on BEDROCK Edition Minecraft. IP: br.ranchncraft.com Port: 19132We here at Ranch n Craft are a survival server running several custom built plugins, including our very own horse themed plugin! We are a family friendly, community based server that you don’t wanna miss!We aren’t only about horses though! We have a claiming plugin, run events with our dedicated staff, and have so many opportunities to become a part of our amazing community. We also use many of your favourite plugins, and have a Creative server where you can build to your heart’s content.With glowing reviews and a family feel, come join us now to see what all the fuss is about. There’s a reason we’ve been on PCGames list of top ten servers for the last five years!www.ranchncraft.com https://discord.gg/V3mm8bx

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	105/800	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Magic Scrolls Discovered:	1	Herobrine Sightings:	7
Alternate Realities Explored:	2	Reality Distortions Fixed:	1
Immortal Potions Brewed:	10	Blood-Forged Axes Created:	19
Secret Passages Found:	8	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	4
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	0	Ender Pearl Glitches:	2

Random Fact: Did you know? The server’s cozy campfires never go out, even in the rain!

jes.earth

Cross-Play, Earth, MCMMO, PvP, Roleplay, Survival, Towny

Welcome!Just an Earth Server is a Minecraft Earth Bedrock Java crossplay survival server where you can make your town, city or even a nation! Different Earth and survival worlds, OneBlock and more. Toxicity-free.We are excited to welcome you to the server B)IP: jes.earth Bedrock Port: 19132 Map: http://map.jes.earth/ Discord: http://discord.gg/jes YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JustanEarthServer Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/justanearthserver/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justanearthserver

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	108/600	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	0	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	15
Hidden Passages Discovered:	8	Meteorite Armor Created:	19
Endless Mazes Conquered:	1	Living Statues Befriended:	2
Invisible Pathways Walked:	7	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	13
Magical Moments Shared:	8	Enchantments Applied:	266

Random Fact: Magical Insight: Moonlit rituals are believed to be more powerful if performed while wearing socks on your hands.

Kiras Kingdom

Cross-Play, Economy, Survival, Survival Games

We are a Minecraft 1.20 server in Survival Plus mode set in a medieval style. Our desire is to be your entertainment server where you can spend time creating your own adventure as well as make companions and friends with whom to share whatever you want.We have: OP Fair, Skills, RTP, Backpacks, Clans, Protections, Rankup, Giveaways, Boxes, Custom Enchantments, Economy, Tombs, Marriages, Shop, Elevators, Kits, Pets, Missions, Jobs, Homes

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	101/1000	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Wailing Winds Heard:	1	Mineshafts Explored:	3
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	3	Alien Abductions:	4
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	30	Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	1
Gnome Villages Protected:	5	Demonic Pacts Formed:	0
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	3	Unbreakable Chains Forged:	5

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Drinking witch’s brew in the middle of a storm can sometimes summon a giant frog—totally unplanned!

TownySMP Earth

Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, PvE, Roleplay, Survival, Towny

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	90/400	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	3	Gnome Villages Protected:	10
Astral Projections Made:	0	Mythical Quests Completed:	49
Wilderness Tamed:	11	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3
Chaos Orbs Controlled:	7	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1
Magical Moments Shared:	21	Vanishing Items Found:	4

Random Fact: Trivia: The last enchanted forest planted was accidentally grown upside down, yet it thrived—go figure!

DragonShield

Cross-Play, MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival

drgnshield.com | br.drgnshield.com 19132 Step into the Minecraft world of DragonShield, a server noted for its welcoming atmosphere and active community. We take a firm stance against any toxic behavior to keep the server a pleasant place for everyone.DragonShield’s unique feature, PlayTime Ranks, rewards you simply for playing. The more you play, the better your rank becomes. Advancing in rank provides benefits like better kits and perks including back, feed, additional homes, hats, and much more.Tired of the same old mobs? We’ve got a selection of over 20 custom mobs like Watchers, Smoke Demons, Dead Miners, and Crawling Skellys, all awaiting you below level 60.Enjoy weekly boss events and challenging dungeon experiences. The bosses come with complex attack systems and over 30 different abilities. Hurry though – the loot rewards go to the quickest and smartest players who land the last hit.DragonShield’s enchants system offers a massive 300 different enchantments. Earn them through regular enchanting or buy them with EXP. We’ve got everything, from PvP to mining enchants to other interesting effects.DragonShield accommodates both offline mode and non-premium players We also offer cross-play for Bedrock players. So why wait? Jump into DragonShield and experience Minecraft from a fresh perspective.

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	102/1000	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Werewolf Howls Heard:	4	Backwards Speech Heard:	1
Infernal Machines Built:	1	Goblin Markets Raided:	9
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	1	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	117
Magical Moments Shared:	30	Whispering Shadows Heard:	1
Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	5	Forbidden Doors Opened:	2

Random Fact: Did You Hear? A player once brewed a potion that made their pet bunny fly—it’s now the most popular bunny in the skies.

Belly Server

Economy, MCMMO, Mini Games, Parkour, PvE, PvP, Survival

Server de Minecraft Beuteugeu Server | IP: mc.beuteugeu.com Our Website: http://www.beuteugeu.com/

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	93/100	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	3	Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	1
Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	9	Mysterious Portals Opened:	12
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	3	Epic Quests Completed:	10
Wailing Winds Heard:	2	Vanishing Items Found:	5
Eerie Music Discs Played:	6	Ender Pearl Glitches:	3

Random Fact: Did you hear? Living statues can be befriended with a simple riddle—just hope they don’t ask you for one in return!

GTAMC Network

Economy, Factions, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival, Towny

A new GTAMC server which proudly features NO IN-GAME PURCHASES! Come check us out and help us build up a community – Explore the vast city of Greenfield! – Loot chests for powerful guns; shoot other players and take their items! – Buy and sell items at spawn (or trade with other players!) – Lead or join a gang and take control of the streets! – Rent houses to store all of your gear! – Complete unique quests and take on a small GTA-inspired storyline! – Go achievement-hunting with our fun achievements system! – Unlock extra permissions by ranking up using in-game money! – Be a part of intense server events! – Compatible with MC Versions 1.8 – 1.20DONATE: paypal.com/sean44104

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	109/500	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	3	Divine Scrolls Written:	12
Endless Staircases Climbed:	3	Haunted Mines Explored:	2
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	0	Demonic Pacts Formed:	0
Heroic Legacies Created:	7	Void Armor Forged:	22
Gods Slained:	0	Powerful Allies Recruited:	8

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.