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| Players: | 107/300 | Votes: | 566 |
| Rating: | 4.7 / 5 | ||
| Pirate Ships Raided: | 2 | Endless Minecart Rides Taken: | 2 |
| Mythical Creatures Tamed: | 5 | Sentient Weapons Trained: | 7 |
| Meteorite Armor Created: | 21 | Godly Talismans Bestowed: | 7 |
| Voidwalker Blades Crafted: | 3 | Parallel Universes Unraveled: | 0 |
| Animals Bred: | 136 | Ancient Relics Unearthed: | 383 |
| Dark Rituals Completed: | 5 | Heroic Legacies Created: | 1 |
| Goblin Armies Outwitted: | 7 | Soul Contracts Signed: | 5 |
Are you tired of waiting for your Surface Laptop 5 to arrive? Well, why not join our Minecraft server instead! For just $1122 (which is totally not a rip-off, we promise), you can escape your poorfag shithole and enter a world where the only thing you have to worry about is creepers blowing up your house.
On our server, you can build a mansion made entirely out of diamonds, ride pigs into battle against evil mobs, and even participate in our annual “Lava Parkour Challenge” where the winner gets a free pet dragon (Disclaimer: dragons may or may not actually exist in Minecraft).
So forget about your questionable purchase decisions and come join us on the most epic Minecraft server ever created! Who needs a Surface Laptop 5 when you can have a virtual world full of adventure and endless possibilities?
