Haha I Hate Myself Minecraft SMP

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Are you tired of boring Minecraft SMPs with no excitement or chaos? Well, look no further because our server is the epitome of madness and hilarity! Join us for a wild ride filled with insane shenanigans and ridiculous adventures.

Ever wanted to ride a pig off a cliff while wearing a chicken suit? Well, on our server, that’s just a typical Tuesday! We have a thriving community of players who love to push the boundaries of what’s possible in Minecraft. From building giant statues of potatoes to organizing epic PvP battles with nothing but fishing rods, there’s never a dull moment on our server.

But that’s not all! We also have a secret underground base filled with llamas wearing top hats and a rollercoaster that goes through a volcano. And did we mention the dance parties in the Nether? Trust us, you won’t find a more ridiculous and entertaining Minecraft SMP anywhere else.

So why wait? Join us now and become part of the craziest Minecraft community out there. Just make sure to bring your sense of humor and a healthy dose of insanity!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	95/500	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Dragon Eggs Found:	3203	Spontaneous Duels Fought:	11
Ancient Guardians Awoken:	1	Infinity Stones Found:	2
Divine Scrolls Written:	9	Ether Blades Crafted:	9
Omnipotent Charms Created:	1	Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	2
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	3	Dark Rituals Completed:	7

Random Fact: Whimsical Lore: A player once befriended a cloud that now follows them around, raining only when they need a cool down.

United Lands

Economy, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival, Towny

United Lands is a Towny-based Earth SMP that integrates peace, war, economies and events thanks to our unique mechanics. We are a friendly server with an active Discord and community as well as a helpful staff team. Our Earth map is on a 1:500 scale that goes alongside a Resource world, Nether and End. These last three worlds reset at the end of each month. Settle a town with your friends or brave it alone with Towny – develop your lands into thriving nations and empires that span the globe. In addition to this, we often hold events on our Discord and on the Minecraft server itself which are always looked forward to by our players. Discord events can contain games nights and watch-alongs, whereas our in game events can include skin contests, minigame events or server-wide mechanic changes in limited time events. You can progress in-game to a powerful position with our in game perks menu where you can buy additional abilities and privileges with the money earned from our balanced jobs, trade, and war system. Strictly cosmetic donator perks are also available on our website to those who want to show off a bit more. The server is constantly changing and updating for the better with changelogs coming out almost weekly containing new fixes and plugins. Custom items like you’ve never seen them before! Food, tools, and blocks that offer completely new gameplay experiences beyond just more options on what to eat are here. Grow new custom trees that have their own unique mechanics and drops or brew amazing alcohols using them. You can even change the biome you’re standing in with our new tools! Take a look at our handcrafted website that provides incredible insight into the server with pages dedicated to towns and players with real time map locations! Our server is not limited to Java players only, with our new parity update Bedrock players can join in on the fun too! Look at our website under the “Bedrock Joining” article on the info tab to learn how to connect. IP: mc.unitedlands.org Bedrock Port: 19132 Website: unitedlands.org Discord: discord.gg/unitedlands Map: unitedlands.org/maps

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	104/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Hidden Villages Discovered:	3	Infernal Machines Built:	1
Infinite Doors Opened:	2	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	3
Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	25	Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	2
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	2	Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	5
Cursed Swords Broken:	3	Mythical Swords Crafted:	71

Random Fact: Magical Moment: The last tea party held in the enchanted forest had talking teacups—they love to chat about the weather.

BrokenThrone

Bedwars, Cross-Play, MCMMO, OneBlock, PvE, PvP, Survival

Welcome to BrokenThrone, the ultimate Minecraft server experience! We’re thrilled to have you here!IP Address: Java: play.brokenthrone.xyz Bedrock: play.brokenthrone.xyzServer Features: • Cracked • Player-driven economy with player shops and auctions • Grief protection to ensure your builds are safe • RPG-style leveling and skills • Custom Enchants • ETC

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	95/400	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	2	Sentient Weapons Trained:	6
Secret Libraries Discovered:	4	Meteorite Armor Created:	22
Crystal Wands Charged:	17	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	31
Rune Stones Activated:	8	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	5
Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	13	Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	3

Random Fact: Did you know? The most recent world-altering spell accidentally turned a mountain into a giant chocolate cake.

Melon Cloud

Economy, MCMMO, PvP, Survival

Playing Melon Cloud you can forget about pay to win here, everyone’s got a fair shot at fun. We spice things up with free custom monthly textures that’ll give your gameplay a fresh twist without breaking the bank.Enjoy the freedom of soaring through the skies with the /fly command – because who doesn’t love a little virtual airtime? But what really makes Melon Cloud a blast is our awesome community. Whether you’re a Minecraft veteran or a total newbie, our players are all about making you feel right at home.

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	91/900	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Astral Amulets Crafted:	27	Arcane Towers Raised:	2
Horror Stories Survived:	1	Underground Cities Explored:	2
Void Armor Forged:	30	Forbidden Relics Collected:	5
Titanic Relics Retrieved:	4	Living Shadows Defeated:	1
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	468	Evil Lairs Raided:	7

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Unicorns on the server have been known to grant wishes!

Mantic Network

Economy, Mini Games, Parkour, PvE, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

We are a fast growing, friendly and fun Minecraft server community. Mantic server was originally founded back in 2015.Come give it a try at mso.mantic.gg

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	92/500	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Undead Armies Raised:	3	Witch’s Brew Drunk:	14
Cursed Lands Purified:	7	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	1
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	1	Crystal Caves Mapped:	3
Moonlit Rituals Performed:	3	World-Altering Spells Cast:	2
Astral Projections Made:	2	Meteorite Armor Created:	14

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Drinking witch’s brew in the middle of a storm can sometimes summon a giant frog—totally unplanned!

Ruby

Economy, MCMMO, Parkour, PvP, Survival, Towny

Welcome to Ruby! We are an online community with an extra focus on togetherness, inclusion and friendship. Here you can meet safely no matter who you are. We want everyone to experience development and mastery at Rubinen. We have Survival, Creative, Dungeons, Parkour, Spleef, Towny, Events, KeepInventory, Voteparty, Competitions, PvP and more!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	102/1000	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Royal Courts Attended:	1	Players Killed by Monsters:	458
Phantom Ships Sailed:	5	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	3	Infernal Machines Built:	0
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	36
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	1	Pirate Ships Raided:	1

Random Fact: Magical Insight: Moonlit rituals are believed to be more powerful if performed while wearing socks on your hands.

DraconityMC

Cross-Play, Economy, PvE, PvP, Survival

Cross-Play! Anyone can join from any launcher!!DraconityMC – SURVIVAL KINGDOMS– Custom Mobs: Fully customized passive and hostile mobs, as well as interactive pets with skills and abilities! – Custom World Generation: Completely reworked world generation, featuring hundreds of varieties of biomes filled with custom mobs! – Outposts: Fight for rulership of the four biome outposts, but fight off the ogres, vikings, ents, and bandits! – Boss Fights: Daily varieties of custom textured boss spawns with OP rewards! – Skills: Redesigned custom McMMO skills, RPG style! Level up for rewards! – Battlepass: Featuring hundreds of fresh quests to face every season, with a balanced VIP battlepass access! – New Enchantments: Completely reworked enchantment system, featuring a wizard NPC for all your enchantment needs! – Kingdoms: Build and form the strongest kingdom on the server, and declare war on other kingdoms for power! If you just wanna chill and build, you can turn this feature off and sit back and watch the chaos! – Gems Shop: Buy keys, cosmetics, wardrobe items, and much more with gems! – Dungeons: Grind through the levels of the dungeons for unique rewards and challenging battles from our custom mobs and bosses! + much more!: We have so many amazing features that we can’t even list them all, so come check it out now!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	91/1000	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Fairy Circles Danced In:	8	Epic Shields Constructed:	11
Unicorn Sightings:	0	Magical Familiars Summoned:	1
Chimeras Created:	2	Dragonfire Shields Forged:	6
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	24	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	1
Wailing Winds Heard:	1	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	4

Random Fact: Sweet Truth: A player found a hidden passage that leads to a secret garden—it’s full of flowers that bloom in rainbow colors.

GuildCraft Network

Creative, Economy, Prison, PvP, Skyblock, Survival

Welcome to GuildCraft network!We offer many different games with our custom made plugins, maps, and games.

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	93/1000	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Royal Decrees Issued:	3	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	5
Meteorites Collected:	0	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	5
Living Shadows Defeated:	2	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	2
Cursed Lands Purified:	5	Wilderness Tamed:	10
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	18

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a tiny dragon that likes to sleep in their pocket—it’s the perfect pocket warmer!

NostalgiaCraft

Economy, PvE, Survival, Vanilla

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	96/600	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	2	Legendary Items Repaired:	7
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	3	Meteorite Armor Created:	13
Potions Brewed:	44	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	6
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	4	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	10
Inverted Worlds Discovered:	0	Divine Spears Created:	21

Random Fact: Mythical Moment: A single drop of lava from the Phoenix Feather’s nest can forge an indestructible sword.

ArcherMC

Creative, Economy, Factions, KitPvP, Parkour, Prison, PvP

Number 1 OP server with tons of unique features: plots, gangs, drugs, explosive items, cheapest donor ranks, custom mines, and the ultimate experience! We have rankups from A-Z as well as 26 custom built amazing mines to fit them! All players can have their own plots and gangs! What are you waiting for?! Join now!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	109/400	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Void Gems Collected:	40	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	0
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	1	Phantom Ships Sailed:	5
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	5	Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	1
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	7	Gods Slained:	0
Demon Skulls Collected:	16	Warrior Spirits Summoned:	25

Random Fact: Fun Fact: An immortal potion once caused a player to grow flowers every time they sneezed!

SpongeCraft

Economy, Survival, Towny

Custom Enchants, Multi SlimeFun Addons, in-game ranks, and more!ABOUT US:A new server, with a community rooted from over 6 years back, SpongeCraft is a close knit and active group of people that offers an experience like no other! We welcomes people of all ages, backgrounds, and interests, so you’re sure to meet many new friends. SpongeCraft is a friendly, mature SMP type server with many unique perks you’ll love and enjoy with a large focus on the community!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	98/400	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	2	Dimension Hops:	13
Whispering Shadows Heard:	3	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	130
Curse of Binding Applied:	2	Heroic Legacies Created:	1
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	15	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1
Unicorn Sightings:	1	Forbidden Relics Collected:	2

Random Fact: Did you know? The first Dragon Egg found was hatched during a meteor shower!

Nest GSG

Economy, MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

The GSG Network is in an incredible phase!! Forget everything you’ve heard about the network in the past and come give your future favorite server a try.Currently, the Águia Server – 1.20+ is active The server is cross-platform – Java and Bedrock Survival mode with 3 different worlds to choose from Exclusive perks available in each world Box system with new arrivals per season Tournament System Ground Protection System VIP system mcMMO skills Clan System with War Event

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	98/100	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Endless Mazes Conquered:	2	Ender Pearl Glitches:	2
Celestial Crowns Worn:	4	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	179	Haunted Mines Explored:	2
Goblin Markets Raided:	3	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	2
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	6	Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	1

Random Fact: Magical Insight: Moonlit rituals are believed to be more powerful if performed while wearing socks on your hands.

KoalaServers

Creative, Cross-Play, MCMMO, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

Welcome, our aim is for a close to vanilla taste, but with the added flavor of jobs, economy, player ran shops, and warps. We are generous with claim blocks too as we feel it’s fair to allow players to protect their bases no matter how big the project! Come join our chill community and enjoy some unique Aussie ranks!

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	94/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Cursed Statues Activated:	1	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	3
Pirate Ships Raided:	2	Unbreakable Chains Forged:	7
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	30	Magic Items Found:	7728
Mimic Chests Discovered:	1	Vanishing Structures Built:	3
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	10

Random Fact: Magical Mystery: A player tamed a dragon only to find it loves tea parties—talk about an unexpected guest!

AstraMC

Cross-Play, Economy, Parkour, PvE, Survival, Vanilla

– Cute pets that will follow you around, you can ride and have skill trees! – We have a premium land claiming plugin with extreme customization for better protection – We have tag’s to show off some style and some new cosmetics in the works as well~ – Farming and player based economy! Farm to become the richest on the server or make a shop and join the kings of the economy – Skill’s for those that like a little bit of a rpg twist on their favorite game~ – New collectible’s each month, if you get lucky you can sell them for millions later – Amazing events hosted throughout the year for all to participate in! – Active staff members, owners and mangement as well as active socials and one or two small content creators! – Currently in the works of working on turning into a server network with multiple gamemodes and something for everyone to enjoy~

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	93/600	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Farms Harvested:	518	Animals Bred:	27
Rainbows Spotted:	9	Ores Mined:	6068
Void Armor Forged:	20	Astral Staffs Crafted:	5
Dragon Scales Harvested:	434	Epic Quests Completed:	28
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	7	Magic Wands Crafted:	13

Random Fact: Insider Secret: Players who solve unsolvable puzzles are said to unlock the ability to talk to fish.

Phloxnew

Cross-Play, Economy, Survival

Phlox is a newly opened no-grief Survival server that offers many custom-made features to make your playing experience better. Play alone or create a guild with your friends! We have a chill and welcoming community, and we hope to see you soon!You can also vote for us to rank up in-game!Bedrock IP: play.phloxmc.net:19132

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	97/700	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	4	Astral Orbs Gathered:	17
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	5	Astral Mages Summoned:	1
Dark Rituals Completed:	4	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	22
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	3	Curse of Binding Applied:	3
Wyrmholes Dug:	9	Endless Night Skies:	3

Random Fact: Heartwarming Moment: A player found a magical flute that summons birds to sing along—it’s the perfect soundtrack for any adventure.

Mythical Empires Server

MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival

-= Mythical Empires =- – Money and Tokens – Kingdoms – Jobs – Skills – Dungeons – Pets – Amazing Enchants – Boosters – Auctions – Events – Discord Support – Active staff – Friendly community

Updated October 4, 2024

Players:	105/1000	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Spectral Entities Defeated:	5	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1
Goblin Markets Raided:	3	Farms Harvested:	101
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	7	Astral Orbs Gathered:	10
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	2	Epic Weapons Forged:	10
Dragons Tamed:	3	Cursed Scrolls Read:	3

Random Fact: Did you hear? Living statues can be befriended with a simple riddle—just hope they don’t ask you for one in return!