Blowjob-Proof Minecraft | New Minecraft Servers 2024

ParentalPwnage Minecraft Server

childhood trauma, Communication Issues, Eating disorders, Emotional healing, emotional neglect, family dynamics, family relationships, Family Therapy, family trauma, forgiveness, Healing Process, mental health, Minecraft, neglect, parental support, ParentalPwnage, Resentment, self esteem, Server, sibling illness, sibling support, toxic family dynamics, trust issues

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we promise to give you more attention than OP’s parents gave them! Join us and experience a world where you are the center of attention, unlike poor OP who was left to fend for themselves while their brother battled cancer.

Our server is the perfect place to escape from the real world and immerse yourself in a community that actually cares about you. No need to worry about being ignored or dismissed here, we value each and every player like they’re the most important person in the world.

So come join us and leave behind the drama of OP’s family situation. Build, explore, and make new friends in a world where you are truly appreciated. And remember, on our server, you’ll never have to deal with parents who prioritize their sickly thin son over their “fat, disgusting burden” of a daughter. Join now and let the fun begin!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	101/200	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Invisible Pathways Walked:	4	Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	2
Alien Abductions:	5	Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	3

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Unicorns on the server have been known to grant wishes!

NoLoansNoProblems

cautious, Colleague, comfort level, cosign, dave ramsey, DEBT, financial decision, financial responsibility, Financial Security, government sector, loan, loan assistance, loan cosigner, loan guilt, loan refusal, loan rejection, NoLoansNoProblems, personal loan, PLATONIC, Trust, working relationship

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we understand the importance of financial responsibility just like our friend Dave Ramsey! Join us and avoid the temptation of cosigning loans for your virtual friends, because who knows what kind of trouble they could get you into.

Explore our virtual world and discover the dangers of trusting others with your hard-earned diamonds. Will you stand your ground like our hero in this story, or will you fall victim to the emotional manipulation of your fellow players?

Join now and experience the thrill of saying no to outrageous loan requests from your Minecraft buddies. Who knows, you might even learn a thing or two about financial security while building your dream virtual empire!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	97/400	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Cursed Scrolls Read:	5	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	30
Backwards Speech Heard:	6	Magical Frogs Kissed:	8

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Teleportation mishaps are the leading cause of unexpected interdimensional friendships.

CraftyAncientMinecraftSMP

Ancient Art, artisan, artisanal, Craft, Craftsmanship, CraftyAncientMinecraftSMP, creativity, culture, Dedication, Expertise, Handmade, heritage, History, learning, Master, Passion, Practice, skill, talent, Technique, tradition

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers? Want to embark on a wild and wacky adventure unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before? Look no further than our totally not cursed, definitely not haunted Minecraft SMP!

Join us as we delve into the ancient art of llama whispering, where you can communicate with these majestic creatures and ride them into battle against hordes of evil creepers. Or perhaps you’d prefer to master the craft of underwater basket weaving, creating beautiful baskets while fending off attacks from the dreaded guardians.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to the legendary Chicken King, a ruler so powerful that even the Ender Dragon bows before him. Join his royal court and bask in the glory of unlimited chicken nuggets for all eternity.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft SMP today and unlock the secrets of ancient arts and crafts that will leave you laughing, crying, and questioning your sanity.

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	105/1000	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Crystal Caves Mapped:	6	Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	3
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	6	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	10

Random Fact: Did you hear? Living statues can be befriended with a simple riddle—just hope they don’t ask you for one in return!

BlockyBedDisaster

awkward conversation, awkward situation, bad experience, BlockyBedDisaster, cringeworthy experience, disappointing hookup, disappointing night, disastrous date, embarrassing hookup, Embarrassing moment, hookup gone wrong, hookup horror story, regretful encounter, regretful hookup, regretful night, regrettable decision, terrible sex, uncomfortable encounter, worst hookup, worst one night stand, worst sexual experience

Are you tired of boring old servers where the only action you get is mining for diamonds? Well, look no further because our server is where the real fun begins! Join us for a wild ride filled with crazy hookups that will leave you questioning your life choices. From accidentally marrying a creeper to getting catfished by a zombie, our server is guaranteed to keep you on your toes. So why settle for a boring hookup when you can join us for the most outrageous Minecraft experience of your life? Join now and prepare for a hookup you’ll never forget!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	104/700	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Whispering Caves Entered:	7	Towns Built:	3
Cozy Campfires Lit:	23	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3

Random Fact: Magical Insight: Moonlit rituals are believed to be more powerful if performed while wearing socks on your hands.

KurskCraft: Naked & Afraid

Abuse, afraid, Conflict, current events, eastern europe, human rights violations, international law, international relations, investigation, Kursk region, KurskCraft, Military, naked, News, political tension, prisoners of war, russia, russia ukraine conflict, torture, Ukraine, Ukrainian POWs, violence, War Crimes

come join our epic minecraft server where ukrainian pows are not stripped naked and shot, but instead given diamond armor and sent on quests to defeat the evil ender dragon! we have crazy events like pig racing and llama rodeos, plus our custom-built spawn area is a replica of the kusk region in russia but with rainbow sheep and flying pigs! join now for a wild adventure unlike any other!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	92/700	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	10
Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2	Paranormal Events Investigated:	1

Random Fact: Whimsical Fact: A player built a house entirely out of enchanted marshmallows—soft, sweet, and always smells like vanilla.

Mellow Meadows

bugs, building, Community, Conquest, Crafting, Discord, Economy, Exploration, fair, Fun, ideas, MCMMO, mellow meadows., Minecraft, pay to win, PvE, PvP, Ranking system, Skyblock, Survival, Trading, vibrant

Welcome to Mellow Meadows Survival, the ultimate Minecraft experience! Dive into a thriving economy where you can trade, build, and craft your way to success. Our server features a unique ranking system that rewards your dedication without any pay-to-win elements, ensuring a fair and fun environment for all players.

Join our vibrant community and help shape the future of Mellow Meadows by sharing your ideas and reporting bugs on our Discord. Whether you’re a seasoned player or new to survival, there’s always something exciting waiting for you. Get ready to explore, build, and conquer in Mellow Meadows Survival!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	108/800	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	3	Undead Armies Raised:	1
Wilderness Tamed:	10	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	2

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Unicorns on the server have been known to grant wishes!

Blocky Haters Minecraft Server

appreciation, b.., blocky, cyberbullying, encouragement, every day, fanbase, Followers, Gratitude, grows, hate, Haters, internet trolls, loyal fans, Minecraft, Negativity, Online Community, online presence, positive feedback, positivity, Server, social media, Support, thank you

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old players? Well, look no further because our server is the place to be! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, a group of players stumbled upon our server and were immediately greeted by a herd of dancing pigs wearing top hats. Yes, you read that right. These pigs were busting out some sick dance moves and the players couldn’t help but join in. It was a sight to behold, let me tell you.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Ender Dragon who moonlights as a stand-up comedian. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a dragon tell knock-knock jokes, trust me.

And if that’s not enough to convince you, just know that our server is endorsed by none other than the elusive /b/ from 4chan. That’s right, our fanbase is growing every day thanks to their support. So what are you waiting for? Join now and experience the madness for yourself!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	101/900	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	4	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1
Mystic Mirrors Unlocked:	3	Forbidden Relics Collected:	5

Random Fact: Wholesome Lore: A hidden village was discovered where everyone bakes cookies—they give them out for free to travelers.

Country Happen Minecraft SMP

Community Events, Community news, Country, country current affairs, country events, country happenings, country news, country updates, current affairs, current events, Events, happen, Happenings, local events, local happenings, local news, Minecraft, national events, national happenings, national news, News, smp

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers? Want to join a wild and wacky SMP where anything can happen? Look no further than our server!

Join us if you want to witness pigs flying, creepers doing the cha-cha, and villagers breakdancing like there’s no tomorrow. Our server is so crazy, even the Ender Dragon has taken up knitting as a hobby.

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that Herobrine himself is a regular player on our server, and he’s been known to challenge players to dance-offs for diamond prizes.

So if you’re ready for a Minecraft experience like no other, join our server today and prepare to have your mind blown (literally, by all the TNT we have lying around)!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	106/900	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	107	Talking Trees Consulted:	3
Lost Souls Rescued:	1	Crystal Palaces Visited:	1

Random Fact: Did you know? The first Dragon Egg found was hatched during a meteor shower!

ChildcareCraft: No Unpaid Babysitting

Adelaide, Ain, Babysitting, blocked, Boundaries, casual worker, child care, ChildcareCraft, Communication, Conflict, family, family dynamics, Manipulation, nephew, Niece, partner visa, Siblings, UNFAIR, Unpaid, unpaid childminding, unpaid leave, work shifts

Welcome to our Minecraft server where you can escape the drama of real life like this insane family situation in Adelaide! Join us for a wild ride filled with blocky adventures and no unpaid childminding duties required!

Looking for a place where you won’t be accused of manipulating your partner for wanting to work instead of babysitting? Look no further, our server is drama-free and full of fun!

Join now and build your way to a stress-free virtual world where you can leave all the real-life craziness behind. Who needs unpaid leaves for babysitting when you can be the master of your own blocky destiny? Let’s craft away the drama together!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	102/1000	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Phantom Ships Sailed:	4	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	2
Forbidden Doors Opened:	3	Haunted Chests Opened:	7

Random Fact: Did You Hear? A player accidentally enchanted their bed to sing lullabies—now they fall asleep faster than ever.

SecretSMP – What’s Yours?

#classified information, buried truth, concealed past, confession, confidential disclosure, covert confession, darkest secret, hidden shame, Hidden Truth, Inner Demons, intimate disclosure, personal revelation, private revelation, private thoughts, Secrets, SecretSMP, skeletons in the closet, suppressed feelings, undisclosed guilt, undisclosed information., untold story, whats

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where all you do is mine and build? Well, look no further because on our server, your darkest secrets are our currency! That’s right, spill the tea on all your scandalous deeds and you’ll be rewarded with diamonds and enchanted gear.

Join us on this wild ride where alliances are formed based on who has the juiciest gossip and betrayals happen faster than you can say “creeper”. Don’t worry about getting griefed because our griefers are actually just misunderstood pranksters who will leave you a trail of cookies as an apology.

So come on, join us and let your inner drama llama run wild in this chaotic and hilarious Minecraft SMP. Just remember, what happens on the server, stays on the server (unless it makes for a really good story in the group chat).

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	92/100	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Villages Defended:	9	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	16
Pirate Ships Raided:	2	Titanic Relics Retrieved:	2

Random Fact: Magical Moment: The last tea party held in the enchanted forest had talking teacups—they love to chat about the weather.

BlockyDateNightGoneWrong

Are you tired of boring dates that make you want to escape to the virtual world? Well, look no further because our Minecraft server is the perfect place to hide from awkward conversations and bad pick-up lines!

Join our server and immerse yourself in a world where creepers are the only things blowing up your phone with texts, and skeletons are the only things shooting their shot. Our community is filled with players who understand the struggle of dating disasters and are here to help you laugh it off.

So why did you leave your date early? Was it because they talked about their pet rock for an hour? Or maybe they showed up wearing a full-body llama suit? Whatever the reason, come join us and let’s turn those cringeworthy moments into hilarious stories to share with your new Minecraft buddies. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	106/200	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	4	Magic Scrolls Discovered:	6
Talking Trees Consulted:	3	Cursed Swords Broken:	1

Random Fact: Insider Secret: Players who solve unsolvable puzzles are said to unlock the ability to talk to fish.

UNIFIL Evacuation Minecraft Server

Conflict, crisis management., Diplomacy, evacuation, evacuation orders, Guterres, harm’s way, international relations, Israel, lebanon, MIDDLE EAST, Military, Minecraft, Netanyahu, Peacekeeping, political tensions, Safety, SECURITY, Server, Unifil, united nations, United Nations Interim Force in Lebanon

lol u gotta join this epic server cuz it’s like a virtual roller coaster ride but with creepers and zombies instead of loops and twists. we got unicorns that poop diamonds and rainbow sheep that fart glitter.

one time, a player built a giant statue of a chicken that came to life and started clucking out the national anthem. it was so epic, bro.

and don’t even get me started on the secret underground base where players have dance parties with skeletons and endermen. it’s lit, fam.

plus, we have a rule that if you find a rare pink sheep, you get a lifetime supply of enchanted golden apples. trust me, it’s worth it.

so come join us on this wild ride of a server and let’s make some memories that will have you laughing for days. peace out, homies.

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	90/100	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Legendary Items Repaired:	2	Enchantments Applied:	286
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	2	Void Armor Forged:	19

Random Fact: Truth or Myth: Gnome villages are protected by invisible walls that only activate when someone says “magic beans.”

LebCraft: War of the Blocks

blocks, Ceasefire, Conflict, extremist group, foreign intervention, Former PM, geopolitical tensions, hezbollah, Hijacked, Israel, Lebanese government, lebanon, LebCraft, MIDDLE EAST, military aggression, political instability, power struggle, proxy war, regional tensions, sectarian violence, Terrorism, War

come join our epic minecraft server where we have more drama than a lebanese soap opera! we got hezbollah “hijacking” lebanon and starting wars with israel, it’s crazier than trying to survive a creeper explosion! come build your own bunker and defend against the chaos, or join hezbollah and wreak havoc on the server! trust us, it’s more intense than a pvp battle in the nether. join now for the most insane minecraft experience of your life!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	103/300	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	7	Runic Tablets Deciphered:	19
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	2	Falling into the Void:	2

Random Fact: Did You Know? A player once found a wishing well that actually grants wishes—it’s now surrounded by flowers and good vibes.

Punishment Prevention – Fair Vendettas

Accountability, consequences, Crime Prevention, Deterrence, Ethics, fair, Fairness, Justice, Legal System, morality, personal vendettas, Prevention, punishment, punishment consequences, punishment debate, punishment effectiveness, punishment fairness, punishment justification, punishment philosophy, punishment theory, Punishments, Retribution, societal norms, Vendettas

HEY YOU! YEAH, YOU! WANNA JOIN OUR CRAZY MINECRAFT SERVER? WELL, LET ME TELL YA, IT’S A WILD RIDE! LIKE, DID YOU KNOW THAT OUR SERVER IS RUN BY A BUNCH OF LLAMAS? YEAH, LLAMAS! THEY’RE THE BOSS AROUND HERE AND THEY DON’T TAKE NO CRAP FROM NO ONE!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! WE’VE GOT A SECRET UNDERGROUND CITY FILLED WITH DIAMONDS AND GOLD! AND IF YOU CAN FIND IT, YOU’LL BE RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS! BUT BEWARE, THE LLAMAS DON’T TAKE KINDLY TO THIEVES!

OH, AND DID I MENTION THAT WE HAVE FLYING PIGS? YEAH, FLYING PIGS! THEY’LL DROP GOLD NUGGETS FROM THE SKY IF YOU FEED ‘EM CARROTS! IT’S INSANE, I TELL YA!

SO WHAT ARE YA WAITING FOR? COME JOIN OUR SERVER AND EMBARK ON THE CRAZIEST ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE! THE LLAMAS ARE WAITING FOR YA!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	91/200	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2	Omnipotent Charms Created:	2
Blood Moons Survived:	2	Forbidden Relics Collected:	3

Random Fact: Cute But True: Someone built a house out of enchanted gingerbread—it’s sturdy, sweet, and smells like Christmas all year round.

EqualityCraft – Trustworthy Bias-Free Fun

BELIEF, BIAS, BiasFree, cognitive bias, conviction, discrimination, equality, EqualityCraft, Evidence, Fun, gender bias, gender discrimination, gender equality, inference, moral conviction, Moral values, Perception, reasoning, rigorous studies, social justice, study results, Trust, trustworthy, WOMENS RIGHTS

join this epic minecraft server where gender equality warriors unite to battle against bias and discrimination in the virtual world! we have rigorous studies showing bias against women and we trust them like our lives depend on it. but watch out, because our moral convictions can lead to some seriously biased reasoning – we might see discrimination where there ain’t none! come join the fun and chaos on our server, where the only thing crazier than our theories is the amount of creepers waiting to blow you up!

Updated October 25, 2024

Players:	105/100	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Demon Skulls Collected:	19	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	23
Wailing Winds Heard:	4	Soul Swords Wielded:	3

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Cozy campfires are rumored to attract wandering gods who just want to share a story.

Players:	93/400	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Crystal Caves Mapped:	10	Players Killed by Monsters:	9911
Immortal Anvils Forged:	6	Mysterious Portals Opened:	7