so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 19, 2024

Players: 95/400 Uptime: 100%
Rating: 4.7 / 5
Crystal Palaces Visited: 3 Quantum Bards Serenaded: 3
Haunted Chests Opened: 0 Unique Catgirls Spotted: 12
Crops Grown: 2943 Immortal Anvils Forged: 14
Enchanted Tomes Discovered: 198 Eldritch Abominations Befriended: 2
Unbreakable Chains Forged: 6 Backwards Speech Heard: 1

Random Fact: Cute Fact: A player found a baby dragon who thinks it’s a puppy—it even fetches sticks (and sometimes small trees).

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