What The Fuck Is He Talking About Minecraft SMP

Absurdity, BIZARRE, confusion, deep thoughts, disbelief, Enigma, existential crisis, fuck, immovable object, incomprehension, mind-bending, mind-boggling, Minecraft, Nonsensical, Paradox, perplexing, philosophical musings, puzzling, questioning reality, smp, strange, surreal, Talking, unstoppable force

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where the laws of physics are just a suggestion and the sky is the limit… literally! Join us and experience the thrill of hanging from the sky like a majestic bat, defying gravity with your sheer awesomeness.

But that’s not all! Our server is home to the legendary Blocky Bob, a mysterious figure who roams the land in search of the rarest diamonds and the dankest memes. Will you be able to track him down and uncover the secrets of his power? Only time will tell.

So why join our Minecraft SMP, you ask? Well, where else can you ride a pig into battle against a horde of zombie chickens, build a house out of enchanted cheese, and challenge a llama to a dance-off for the title of Disco King? Only on our server, where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few server rules, but who’s counting?).

So what are you waiting for? Join us today and embark on the wildest, craziest, most ridiculous Minecraft adventure of your life! Hang from the sky, ride pigs, battle zombie chickens, and become the ultimate Disco King. The fun never stops on our server!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	93/300	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Endless Staircases Climbed:	1	Immortal Potions Brewed:	4
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	3	Infernal Machines Built:	2
Magical Ponies Rescued:	7	Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	3
Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	3	Gryphons Tamed:	1
Dimension Hops:	8	Endless Night Skies:	3

Random Fact: Sweet But True: A player found a cuddly creature that hugs them every morning—it’s the best way to start the day.

Sapphire

Earth, Economy, PvP, Survival

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	98/500	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Warlock Pacts Sealed:	3	Meteorites Collected:	1
Divine Spears Created:	15	Phantom Blocks Placed:	3
Buildings Constructed:	35	Star Shards Collected:	194
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	38	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4
Animals Bred:	112	Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1

Random Fact: Heartwarming Lore: A player once found a lost puppy that turned out to be a shape-shifting dragon—it now guards their treasure chest.

SolaceMC

Economy, MCMMO, PvE, Survival, Towny

SolaceMC is all about enhancing the Vanilla Minecraft experience. With your favourite classics such as Towny, mcMMO, Jobs and more, as well as tons of Custom tools and features, you’re sure to find yourself a new home in this community!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	98/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Elemental Crystals Collected:	54	Portal Loops Escaped:	3
Endless Night Skies:	3	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	482
Shadow Figures Spotted:	2	Cursed Statues Activated:	1
Magical Frogs Kissed:	8	Whispering Shadows Heard:	3
Twisted Realms Survived:	2	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	16

Random Fact: Rumor has it that every enchanted tome written is secretly overseen by an invisible librarian.

Peaceful Farms

Mini Games, PvE, Roleplay, Survival

Welcome to Peaceful FarmsWhat are we? Well, we are a farming economy server.What is the objective? Create the best farm you can! You have little limits on what you can build! Sell your crops and rank up, we have over 30 ranks that you can achieve!Do you have to farm? Of course not! For many players, the server is a haven for building as we are tough on grief and have systems to prevent it.What are you waiting for? Join Peaceful Farms! For a different type of Minecraft experience for all!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	92/900	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Ender Pearl Glitches:	5	Meteorite Armor Created:	16
Curse of Binding Applied:	1	Wilderness Tamed:	18
Phantom Horses Ridden:	4	Cursed Swords Broken:	2
Forbidden Tomes Read:	1	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	10
Epic Weapons Forged:	7	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	8

Random Fact: Sweet Lore: A player once tamed a unicorn by offering it a sugar cube—it now follows them everywhere, leaving a trail of sparkles.

Gamers React minecraft

Economy, OneBlock, PvE, PvP, Skyblock, Survival

We will be featuring a great community, amazing builds, awesome adventures and soo many opportunities for fun!Want to play Survival? You Got It!Want to play SkyBlock or Oneblock? You Got It!What else can we do? Super glad you asked; Tired of the same old 1.8 minecraft with no colors, no design potential, well at Gamers React we offer huge multiplayer worlds, hosted on on the best hardware featuring all the new blocks from 1.16, 1.17 and beyond. Want a blackstone piglin infested house. No problem! Want some weathered copper on your roof. Yea you can have that too!Go watch Gamers React on YouTube and we will see you soon. We will be featuring clips obtained on the server on the main YouTube Channel.

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	105/1000	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Cosmic Pies Baked:	9	Blood Moons Survived:	3
Legendary Heroes Trained:	1	Titanic Relics Retrieved:	4
Talking Trees Consulted:	3	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	2
Living Statues Befriended:	1	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	7
Crops Grown:	5498	Shattered Realms Restored:	2

Random Fact: Did you know? When the first dimensional rift was closed, it rained candy for a week.

CwR Minecraft network

Bedwars, KitPvP, LifeSteal, Mini Games, Parkour, PvP, Survival

CwR MC Network comes with server featuring unique content and an amazing community, friendly staff, and awesome players like you!» Survival SMP » Slimefun SMP » Lifesteal SMP » Bedwars » Kitpvp » Minigames » DuelsBEDROCK SUPPORTED!JAVA IP: mc.cwresports.lk BEDROCK IP: mc.cwresports.lk:19132

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	93/1000	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Curse of Binding Applied:	4	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	4
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2	Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	1
Enchanted Forests Planted:	10	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	0
Cosmic Entities Communed With:	1	Dragon Scales Harvested:	124
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	72

Random Fact: Sweet But True: A player found a cuddly creature that hugs them every morning—it’s the best way to start the day.

CrownMC Survival

Survival

CrownSMP is a friendly 1.18.2 – 1.19 Survival and Lifesteal network, which supports both Java and Bedrock players.

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	96/500	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	8	Titan Hearts Harvested:	4
Ores Mined:	9395	Cursed Villages Purged:	4
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	10	Astral Staffs Crafted:	17
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	15	Ghost Miner’s Tools Found:	5
Shadow Figures Spotted:	9	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	42

Random Fact: Wild But True: Someone actually summoned an Eldritch Beast using nothing but friendship bracelets!

Seiky Network

Bedwars, Economy, Prison, PvP, Skyblock, Survival

[1.20] Seiky Network is the #1 Minecraft Server. We offer a wide range of gamemodes, such as Prison, Skyblock, SkyPvP and Survival. IP: seiky.net Discord: https://discord.gg/JhsXGE9Dmb.

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	108/600	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1	Mythical Swords Crafted:	76
Soul Swords Wielded:	6	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	1
Divine Spears Created:	19	Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	3
Living Shadows Defeated:	5	Divine Scrolls Written:	8
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	6	Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	4

Random Fact: Did you know? The most recent world-altering spell accidentally turned a mountain into a giant chocolate cake.

sVanilla Survival

PvE, PvP, Raiding, Survival, Vanilla

sVanilla Survival goes back to the roots of what a Semi-Vanilla SMP should be. Vanilla, with few quality of life modifications. We’re dedicated to providing the old-school SMP experience, with a large map that never resets, no land claims, and most importantly – crystal free PvP.

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	104/900	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	4	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	0
Mystic Mirrors Unlocked:	4	Epic Shields Constructed:	20
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	0	Divine Spears Created:	14
Cursed Statues Activated:	4	Dragon Eggs Found:	5463
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	3	Vanishing Items Found:	3

Random Fact: Did you know? The last phantom ship sighted was carrying a cargo of glow-in-the-dark kittens.

ConquerEarthMC

Cross-Play, Earth, Economy, MCMMO, PvP, Roleplay, Towny

(16+) A strong and server history with war and politics. Join a dedicated, tight-knit community of like-minded mature players interested in history, geography, politics, and war. Come role-play as the leader of a historically notable nation. You can chill with friends, play survival, or experience all of the rich custom features ConquerEarth offers. ConquerEarth is a geopolitical Towny-Earth server hosted on a 1:1500 scale replica of the Earth map.Original Map Experience the initial creation packed with all its uniqueness. The original map contains our custom-made resource pack, which allows for custom resources, custom items, custom mobs, and Darius’s signature guns (NO MODS REQUIRED! PRESS JOIN!). A short list of our features includes guns, vehicles, meteors, weed, alcohol brewing, flags, siegewar, MCMMO, jobs, dynamic shop, chest shops, elevators, security cameras, events and more. Unfortunately, all of this is achieved with the caveat of Bedrock incompatibility. The original map is and will remain, a native Java exclusive. The map is native to version 1.19.4 and has the most compatibility with 1.19.4 clients, but you may join on any version.Orion Map Our newest Orion map strives to bring Minecraft players of all platforms together. We fully support Bedrock players, and the server is entirely Bedrock compatible, all thanks to the addition of GeyserMC and Floodgate. Although native and best played on 1.20.4, the map can be played on any version. Unlike our original map, this map is a more reserved and familiar geopolitical Towny-Earth experience with only vanilla combat. There is no custom resource pack; therefore, there are no custom resources and no custom items from the original map that rely on our resource pack. Furthermore, this means no guns, no custom items, and no custom mobs. A more faithful geopol experience still with the ConquerEarth flair of features such as vehicles, meteors, alcohol brewing, siegewar, MCMMO, jobs, dynamic shop, chest shops, elevators, security cameras, events and more.Server IP: conquerearthmc.com Bedrock Port: 19132 Website: www.conquerearthmc.com/ Discord: discord.gg/hXvNemNqQr Dynamic map: map.conquerearthmc.com/

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	93/100	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	3	Legendary Titles Earned:	1
Mythical Relics Collected:	11	Lost Cities Unearthed:	3
Reality Warps Survived:	2	Forgotten Legends Remembered:	4
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	1	Endless Legions Commanded:	39
Vanishing Items Found:	8	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	7

Random Fact: Did You Know? A player once found a rainbow that they could pick up and carry—now it’s the ultimate fashion accessory.

StarDix

Bedwars, Economy, KitPvP, Mini Games, PvP

The Largest Minecraft Server in Brazil. Full PvP, PvP Kit, BedWars, Survival and Much More… Come have fun and adventure in our Mini Games.IP: play.stardix.comOur social networks: Site: https://stardix.com Store: https://loja.stardix.com Discord: https://dc.stardix.com YouTube: https://yt.stardix.com Forums: https://forum.stardix.com

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	108/200	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	1	Shadow Wolves Tamed:	1
Immortal Potions Brewed:	13	Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	2
Volcanoes Explored:	1	Gnome Villages Protected:	5
Hidden Passages Discovered:	8	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	5
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	3

Random Fact: Truth or Myth: Gnome villages are protected by invisible walls that only activate when someone says “magic beans.”

Arcane Realms

Creative, Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, OneBlock, Survival, Vanilla

Welcome to Arcane Realms – Where Adventure Awaits!Greetings, intrepid explorers! Are you ready to venture into a world of boundless magic and excitement? Look no further, because Arcane Realms is here to guide you through an unforgettable journey in the Minecraft universe.A Realm of Enchantment: Step into a meticulously crafted realm where enchanting landscapes, mystical forests, and ancient ruins await your discovery. Uncover hidden secrets, conquer mythical creatures, and carve your own heroic saga.Epic Quests: Brace yourself for epic quests and challenges that will test your courage and skills. From venturing into treacherous dungeons to confronting legendary foes, each journey offers a chance to prove your mettle.Unified Community: Join a vibrant community of fellow players who share your love for adventure. Build alliances, barter resources, and collaborate on awe-inspiring creations that will shape the very fabric of our world.

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	102/800	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	1
Ores Mined:	4131	Heroic Legacies Created:	1
Soul Contracts Signed:	3	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	9
Immortal Potions Brewed:	5	Celestial Events Witnessed:	4
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	6	Magical Ponies Rescued:	2

Random Fact: Whimsical Truth: A player found a patch of grass that giggles when you walk on it—it’s impossible to walk by without smiling.

AbsolutGG

Economy, MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

Hello everyone, I present to you AbsolutGG, a server for those who enjoy playing and enjoy the simplicity of the game, however, in addition to having the basic resources, we also have extra things that improve the gaming experience for all of you.– Rankup System – Duel system with ranking – Cashier System – Marriage System – PET system – Quest system – Slimefun Complete – Skills – Redprotect – Stores – Warps e Kits – Spawners with soft touch (no need to be VIP) Support from 1.12 to 1.19, taking advantage of the updates!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	108/700	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	189
Endless Night Skies:	1	Ethereal Couriers Hired:	3
Cozy Campfires Lit:	24	Battle Standards Raised:	9
Divine Spears Created:	18	Gnome Villages Protected:	9
Haunted Mines Explored:	1	Astral Projections Made:	2

Random Fact: Legend has it that the last time someone opened a haunted chest, they found a singing teapot inside!

Savercraft

Economy, PvE, PvP, Raiding, Skyblock, Survival, Vanilla

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	105/200	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Curse of Binding Applied:	4	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	22
Powerful Allies Recruited:	3	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	2
Secret Passages Found:	5	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	4
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	6	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	2
Emeralds Found:	7168	Magical Moments Shared:	27

Random Fact: Did You Hear? Someone brewed a potion that made everyone around them giggle uncontrollably—it’s the latest party trick!

Eden Prison

Cross-Play, Economy, Prison, PvE, PvP

Greetings, fellow Minecraft enthusiasts!Are you yearning for a classic prison experience reminiscent of the golden era of 2012-2013? Look no further than Project Eden – the ultimate revival of old-school prisons with exciting modern enhancements! We are thrilled to announce the launch of Season 2 today, offering a fresh start for everyone and a pure classic prison adventure!What Sets Us Apart?At Project Eden, we pride ourselves on providing a balanced and non-overpowered prison environment. You’ll begin your journey with basic gear and gradually rank up to unlock better equipment. Progression may take time, but don’t worry – as you climb the ranks, you can take advantage of your elevated status by setting up shops and selling to lower-ranked players, fostering a vibrant economy within the prison walls.But that’s not all! We’ve gone the extra mile to cater to PvP enthusiasts. Delve into the depths of our colossal PvP dungeon nestled beneath the prison, where you’ll encounter thrilling battles and reap exclusive rewards that can be utilized throughout your time on the server. Embrace the exhilaration of combat and emerge as a true champion!Join Our CommunityOur server has only recently opened, giving you a fantastic opportunity to gain an edge and establish yourself among the pioneers of Project Eden. We are committed to cultivating an active and welcoming community, ensuring that your gameplay experience is nothing short of extraordinary. Immerse yourself in the nostalgia and relive the glory days of classic prisons!

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	94/300	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	0	Endless Staircases Climbed:	1
Goblin Markets Raided:	10	Eerie Music Discs Played:	5
Astral Orbs Gathered:	16	Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	3
Dark Rituals Completed:	4	Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1
Epic Bosses Defeated:	3	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	11

Random Fact: Did You Know? A player once found a rainbow that they could pick up and carry—now it’s the ultimate fashion accessory.

DogeCraft

Economy, Prison, PvE, PvP, Survival, Towny, Vanilla

Updated September 20, 2024

Players:	100/400	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Royal Decrees Issued:	4	Heroic Legacies Created:	2
Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	9	Titan Hearts Harvested:	1
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	24	Backwards Speech Heard:	2
Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	2	Whispering Shadows Heard:	2
Epic Quests Completed:	18	Cosmic Pies Baked:	8

Random Fact: Wild Fact: A cursed sword, when broken, can actually release the spirits trapped inside—talk about a plot twist!