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| Players: | 91/400 | Votes: | 9662 |
| Rating: | 4.9 / 5 | ||
| Crystal Wands Charged: | 19 | Dragons Adopted as Pets: | 4 |
| Heroic Deeds Celebrated: | 13 | Interstellar Fungi Gathered: | 3 |
| Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved: | 3 | Soul Contracts Signed: | 4 |
| Infinite Doors Opened: | 2 | Enchanted Forests Planted: | 7 |
| Galactic Jellyfish Caught: | 4 | Spectral Entities Defeated: | 1 |
| Undead Armies Raised: | 1 | Time Loop Anomalies Resolved: | 1 |
| Vanishing Items Found: | 3 | Demon Skulls Collected: | 31 |
Are you tired of waiting for your Surface Laptop 5 to arrive? Well, why not join our Minecraft server instead! For just $1122 (which is totally not a rip-off, we promise), you can escape your poorfag shithole and enter a world where the only thing you have to worry about is creepers blowing up your house.
On our server, you can build a mansion made entirely out of diamonds, ride pigs into battle against evil mobs, and even participate in our annual “Lava Parkour Challenge” where the winner gets a free pet dragon (Disclaimer: dragons may or may not actually exist in Minecraft).
So forget about your questionable purchase decisions and come join us on the most epic Minecraft server ever created! Who needs a Surface Laptop 5 when you can have a virtual world full of adventure and endless possibilities?
