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| Players: | 94/700 | Votes: | 5325 |
| Rating: | 4.6 / 5 | ||
| Omnipotent Charms Created: | 1 | Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered: | 2 |
| Mythical Quests Completed: | 42 | Living Statues Befriended: | 2 |
| Unbreakable Curses Broken: | 1 | Fairy Circles Danced In: | 9 |
| Sentient Weapons Trained: | 5 | Voidwalker Blades Crafted: | 3 |
| Reality-Warping Charms Crafted: | 2 | Magic Wands Crafted: | 8 |
| Epic Weapons Forged: | 2 | Ether Blades Crafted: | 9 |
| Secret Passages Found: | 5 | Pockets of Chaos Discovered: | 2 |
Are you tired of waiting for your Surface Laptop 5 to arrive? Well, why not join our Minecraft server instead! For just $1122 (which is totally not a rip-off, we promise), you can escape your poorfag shithole and enter a world where the only thing you have to worry about is creepers blowing up your house.
On our server, you can build a mansion made entirely out of diamonds, ride pigs into battle against evil mobs, and even participate in our annual “Lava Parkour Challenge” where the winner gets a free pet dragon (Disclaimer: dragons may or may not actually exist in Minecraft).
So forget about your questionable purchase decisions and come join us on the most epic Minecraft server ever created! Who needs a Surface Laptop 5 when you can have a virtual world full of adventure and endless possibilities?
