Portulandia | New Minecraft Servers 2025

The Man Who Predicted All This Shit Minecraft SMP

atheism, Blood, Caesarism, Communication, Cosmopolises, depopulation, Elites, Engineers, fertility collapse, intellectualism, man, Managerial bloat, materialism, Minecraft, MONEY, POL, political parties, Predicted, religiousness, Resources, Shit, smp, SUICIDE, Transportation, urbanism, veganism

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Players:	98/500	Votes:	9391
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Legendary Items Repaired:	2	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	0
Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	0
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	5	Enchanted Armories Found:	10
Phoenix Feathers Found:	11	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	2
Cursed Scrolls Read:	1	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	13
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	2	Meteorite Armor Created:	26
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	4	Wyrmholes Dug:	5

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where we have created a world where /pol/ actually predicted the future! Join us as we navigate through cosmopolises filled with insane transportation methods and communication systems, all while the elites are obsessed with ridiculous things like veganism and futile intellectualism.

But that’s not all – political parties are playing absurd shenanigans, Caesarism is on the rise, and a second religiousness has taken over as materialism and atheism fade away due to a fertility collapse. Our engineers are working tirelessly to keep the machine going, even when resources run dry, and there’s even managerial bloat to spice things up.

So come join us and see if money can truly defeat blood in this wacky world where anything is possible! And hey, if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon a chud who predicted it all before memes were even a thing. Let’s have some laughs and create some chaos together in this wild Minecraft adventure!

HaterzGonnaHate Minecraft SMP

HaterzGonnaHate, Minecraft, smp

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Players:	90/400	Votes:	813
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Buildings Constructed:	31	Pirate Ships Raided:	1
Volcanoes Explored:	1	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	1
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	2	Lunar Scepters Activated:	10
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	20	Lost Souls Rescued:	1
Forbidden Doors Opened:	3	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	1
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	3	Mythical Relics Collected:	19
Cozy Campfires Lit:	25	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	3

Yo, listen up fam, if you’re tired of all those lame-o servers where people don’t appreciate your epic builds and amazing redstone contraptions, then you gotta join this lit AF Minecraft SMP! We got unicorns riding pigs, flying llamas, and a secret underground disco party every Saturday night. Plus, our admin is a literal wizard who can turn dirt blocks into diamonds with just a flick of his wand (not a euphemism, I swear). So if you wanna be part of the coolest, craziest, most bonkers server in all of Minecraft history, then hit us up and join the fun! Trust me, you won’t regret it (unless you’re allergic to fun, in which case, you should probably stay away). #BestSMPever #JoinUsOrMissOut #DiamondsAreAGirlsBestFriend

NoKidsNoProbsMC

Adults, banning, Child protection, children, digital age, digital citizenship, Florida, Florida law, internet regulations, January 1st, NoKidsNoProbsMC, online behavior, online privacy, online safety, online security, parenting, social media, Social Media Ban, social media restrictions., Technology, underage users

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Players:	98/200	Votes:	2031
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	2	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	58
Dimensional Rifts Closed:	2	Phantom Horses Ridden:	2
Farms Harvested:	964	Mythical Relics Collected:	12
Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	3	Goblin Markets Raided:	9
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	3	Phantom Blocks Placed:	5
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3	Magical Familiars Summoned:	2
Godly Talismans Bestowed:	8	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	2

Are you tired of having to deal with annoying kids on social media? Well, fear not because our Minecraft server is the perfect escape from those pesky youngsters! With Florida banning children under 13 from social media, you can finally enjoy a peaceful and adult-friendly gaming experience without any interruptions.

Join our server and embark on wild adventures in a world where only adults roam free. Build epic structures, battle fierce mobs, and uncover hidden treasures without having to worry about any kids ruining the fun. Plus, with our exclusive chat filter that blocks out any immature language, you can rest assured that your gaming experience will be nothing short of classy and sophisticated.

So why wait? Join our server today and experience a Minecraft world like no other, where the only thing you’ll have to worry about is how to top your latest epic build. Trust us, once you go adult-only, you’ll never want to go back!

Creaking SMP

Active 24/7, beginner friendly, Civilization Safety, Civilizations, creaking, discord server, friendly community, hard difficulty, ip address, join the fun, minecraft survival, Most Popular Vanilla Server, new world, No Stealing, Pro Players Welcome, pure gameplay, pure vanilla, Safety Expansion, Serve, smp, top choice, Vanilla, Vanilla Multiplayer

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Players:	108/600	Votes:	6900
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2	Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	0
Alternate Realities Explored:	5	Heroic Legacies Created:	7
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	49	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	5
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	1	Endless Staircases Climbed:	2
Reality Distortions Fixed:	3	Animals Bred:	44
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	7	Magic Wands Crafted:	14
Haunted Mines Explored:	3	Divine Scrolls Written:	16

Overview

Feature	Description
Most Popular Vanilla Server	The first friendly vanilla multiplayer Minecraft server!
Friendly Community	Everyone is welcome, from beginners to pros. Don’t Steal.
Pure Vanilla	Experience Minecraft the way it was meant to be, no mods or changes.
Hard Difficulty	Make friends and work together to expand the safety of civilization!
Active 24/7	Always something happening! Come see why so many players choose us!
Join the Fun	We are brand new and our world is only just beginning!

Come see why we’re the #1 choice for Minecraft survival! https://discord.gg/creakingsmp server IP: mc.creaking.fun

FAQ

1. How do I join the server?

To join the server, simply connect using the server IP: mc.creaking.fun. Once connected, type /rules to be verified.

2. Is there a Discord server for the community?

Yes, you can join our Discord server at https://discord.gg/creakingsmp to connect with other players and stay updated on server events.

3. Are there any specific rules I need to follow on the server?

Yes, please make sure to follow the server rules outlined in the /rules command to ensure a positive and friendly experience for all players.

4. Can I invite friends to join the server?

Yes, feel free to invite your friends to join the server and be part of the growing community. The more, the merrier!

EduCraft High School 1.21.3

1.21.3, academics, clubs, curriculum, education, educational system, EduCraft, Exams, extracurricular activities, Graduation, HIGH, high school, learning environment, peer pressure, School, school community, school culture, school facilities, school traditions, social life, sports, Students, teachers, teenage experience

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Players:	102/300	Votes:	5067
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Endless Staircases Climbed:	2	Mystic Runes Engraved:	5
Eclipse Rings Activated:	1	Herobrine Sightings:	2
Fabled Crowns Discovered:	8	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	6
Buildings Constructed:	22	Teleportation Mishaps:	5
Powerful Allies Recruited:	8	Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	2
Soul Contracts Signed:	2	Falling into the Void:	3
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	10	Rainbows Spotted:	10

Yo, so like, imagine high school but in Minecraft, bro. Like, you can build your own school and have epic battles in the cafeteria over who gets the last cookie.

Join this server if you want to experience the drama of high school without actually having to deal with real people. Plus, we have a secret underground tunnel system for sneaky escapes from class.

Forget boring lectures and homework, on this server, you can create your own classes like Potion Making 101 or Advanced Creeper Taming.

So, if you’re tired of the same old high school routine and want to spice things up with some blocky chaos, then this server is the place for you. Just watch out for the zombie teachers, they can be real sticklers about tardiness.

Minecraft SMP – /Sonic the Hedgehog General/

Announce trailer, booru, cytube, DC Comics Collaboration, general, General link compilation, Hedgehog, IDW Release Dates, Milestone pastebin, Minecraft, Mistletoe Edition, Mod Recommendation Spreadsheet, OC info, Perfect System Collection, pixel world, smp, sonic, Sonic Christmas, Sonic comic scans, sonic game, sonic racing, Sonic Rumble, sonic the hedgehog, sonic the hedgehog 3, Teaser Trailer

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Players:	97/200	Votes:	7251
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	15	Divine Scrolls Written:	14
Towns Built:	7	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	5
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2	Enchanted Armories Found:	5
Chaos Gates Opened:	1	Epic Weapons Forged:	7
Alien Abductions:	2	Hidden Villages Discovered:	3
Volcanoes Explored:	1	Invisible Pathways Walked:	2
Teleportation Mishaps:	1	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2

Welcome to the most electrifying Minecraft SMP out there – Sonic the Hedgehog General! Join us as we discuss ALL things Sonic, from racing to rumbling, we’ve got it all! Our server is so fast-paced, you’ll feel like you’re running alongside Sonic himself.

But that’s not all, folks! We’ve got exclusive trailers for Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds and Sonic the Hedgehog 3 that will blow your mind. And don’t even get me started on the Sonic x DC Comics Collaboration – it’s a match made in pixelated heaven!

Looking for some comic relief? We’ve got you covered with our Sonic comic scans and OC info. And if you’re feeling creative, hop on over to our Pixel World and show off your building skills.

So why join our SMP, you ask? Well, where else can you find a server that’s as fast, fun, and fabulous as Sonic himself? Don’t miss out on the chaos and craziness that is Sonic the Hedgehog General – join today and let the adventure begin!

SnakeSitterNoMore

animal program, Boundaries, co-ownership, Communication, Conflict Resolution, family dynamics, high school, Long Term Care, Maturity, pet care arrangements, pet expenses, pet ownership, pet rehoming, pet transportation, Pregnancy, RESPONSIBILITY, sibling relationships, SIL, snake care, SnakeSitterNoMore

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Players:	102/600	Votes:	6235
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Warlock Pacts Sealed:	2	Wailing Winds Heard:	1
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	19
Alien Abductions:	3	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	2
Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	7	Goblin Markets Raided:	4
Demon Skulls Collected:	38	Backwards Speech Heard:	6
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	3	Cursed Lands Purified:	7
Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	5	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	4

Looking for a wild adventure in the world of Minecraft? Join our server and experience the thrill of taming virtual snakes! Just like the snake in this crazy story, you’ll have to navigate through challenges and obstacles to care for your pixelated reptile.

But beware, just like in real life, you may end up being the primary caretaker of your virtual snake, even if it wasn’t your idea in the first place! Will you be able to handle the responsibility and keep your in-game pet happy and healthy?

Join our server now and embark on a journey filled with drama, twists, and turns – just like the saga of this snake-loving family! Will you be able to handle the pressure and make the tough decisions when it comes to your pixelated pet? Only time will tell!

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and see if you have what it takes to be the ultimate snake charmer in the world of Minecraft! And remember, when in doubt, just give your virtual snake a virtual rat – it’s the circle of life in the world of pixels!

NoTofuPlz – Minecraft SMP

Absolutely, Allergies, aversion, cannot stand, Culinary, despise, detest, diet, DISLIKES, Eat, Food, gag reflex, loathe, Minecraft, no matter what, NoTofuPlz, picky eater, Preferences, Refuse, Repulsion, restrictions, smp, taste buds

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Players:	104/100	Votes:	9021
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Astral Mages Summoned:	2	Wyrmholes Dug:	4
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	2	Void Armor Forged:	20
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	0	Chaos Gates Opened:	2
Living Shadows Defeated:	5	Meteorite Armor Created:	28
New Chunks Explored:	318481	Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	2
Evil Portals Destroyed:	1	Cursed Amulets Found:	0
Invisible Pathways Walked:	7	Buildings Constructed:	22

OMG you guys, you HAVE to join this Minecraft SMP, like seriously, it’s the most lit place ever! We have a secret underground base where we hide all the diamonds and emeralds, and we have a pet creeper named Bob who loves to blow stuff up LOL. Plus, our admin is a wizard who can summon dragons and unicorns, it’s totally wild!

But like, the best part is the food we have in this SMP. We have a rule that you can’t eat potatoes because they’re actually alien spies trying to take over the world. And if you even mention carrots, you have to do a dance-off with a zombie to prove your loyalty to the server. It’s crazy, but so much fun!

So yeah, if you’re looking for a totally bonkers Minecraft SMP where anything goes, you gotta join us. Just be prepared for the chaos and the random dance parties with skeletons, it’s a blast!

DefendCraft

court cases, criminal charges, dangerous situations, Deadly Force, DefendCraft, defending oneself, defending your life, defending your property, gun rights, justifiable homicide, killing, legal rights, lethal force, life or death, life-threatening situations, personal safety, protecting oneself, self defense, stand your ground, Survival, using force

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Players:	103/400	Votes:	6336
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Epic Weapons Forged:	6	Gryphons Tamed:	2
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	1	Volcanoes Explored:	2
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3	Legendary Titles Earned:	3
Cosmic Entities Communed With:	2	Zombie Dances:	4
Forbidden Grimoires Read:	5	Crystal Wands Charged:	20
Astral Amulets Crafted:	44	Votes:	8120
Astral Mages Summoned:	1	Mythical Relics Collected:	13

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the only way to survive is by mastering the art of self-defense! Ever been attacked by a horde of creepers and had to fight back with nothing but a wooden sword? Well, on our server, that’s just a typical Tuesday afternoon.

Join us for epic battles against mobs, where you’ll have to think fast and fight even faster to stay alive. Our players have some insane stories of self-defense, like the time one player took down a whole army of skeletons with just a stack of potatoes. Or the time another player built an entire fortress out of dirt to protect themselves from a pack of angry zombies.

So if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that will test your skills and keep you on your toes, join us now! Who knows, you might just become a legendary warrior known for your epic acts of self-defense.

ZionistZapperCraft

anti-imperialism, anti-Zionism, ayatollah, Conflict, foreign intervention, Geopolitics, iran, Iran-Israel Relations, Islamic Republic, Khamenei, MIDDLE EAST, Middle East crisis, Military, Politics, proxy wars, Regional power struggle, resistance, supreme leader, Syria, Zionists, ZionistZapperCraft

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Players:	93/800	Votes:	8462
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Fairy Circles Danced In:	6	Astral Projections Made:	2
Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	34	Epic Mounts Acquired:	7
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	1	Epic Bosses Defeated:	3
Ghost Trains Ridden:	2	Astral Orbs Gathered:	16
Crystal Wands Charged:	13	Cursed Statues Activated:	2
Enchanted Teapots Collected:	13	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3
Pirate Ships Captured:	3	Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	3

come join our epic minecraft server where we have more drama than iran and israel combined! khamenei himself said “zionists haven’t won” but you can win big on our server! build your own empire and show those zionists who’s boss! we have crazy pvp battles, insane treasure hunts, and even a secret underground bunker where you can hide from the haters. join now and be part of the most epic showdown in minecraft history!

Repaired & Ready – Cheap Fixes

affordable, bargain, budget-friendly, Cheap, cost effective, Deal, Discounted, diy, economical, fixer upper, Fixes, frugal, handyman, low cost, Ready, refurbish, Repair, repaired, Restore, savings, secondhand, thrifty, Value

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Players:	105/300	Votes:	3583
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Soul Swords Wielded:	2	Phantom Knights Defeated:	7
Living Statues Befriended:	0	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	4
Eternal Flames Captured:	5	Forbidden Relics Collected:	3
Gnome Villages Protected:	6	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	4
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	3	Endermen Teleportation Errors:	2
Soul Contracts Signed:	3	Dragon Eggs Found:	3301
Crystal Caves Mapped:	5	Phantom Blocks Placed:	4

Yo, listen up! Have you ever wanted to join a Minecraft server where the pigs can fly and the creepers do the cha-cha slide? Well, look no further because our server is the place to be!

Join us and experience the thrill of riding on a rainbow llama through a field of exploding watermelons. Build your own castle made entirely of cheese and defend it from an army of evil bunnies.

But wait, there’s more! On our server, you can trade your diamonds for magical unicorn farts that will give you super speed and the ability to shoot lasers from your eyes.

So what are you waiting for? Come join us and see if you have what it takes to survive in this wacky world of wonder and weirdness. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

2B2PLACE TRY TO SURVIVE Minecraft server HERE

185.17.10.82, 2B2PLACE, banner, BUILD, Community, Creative, description, Explore, gameplay, Ip:, Minecraft, multiplayer, ONLINE, PvE, PvP, Sandbox, Server, Survival, try to survive

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Players:	110/100	Votes:	4587
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	1	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Talking Trees Consulted:	3	Cozy Campfires Lit:	14
Cursed Swords Broken:	3	Arcane Towers Raised:	1
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	0	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	7
Magical Moments Shared:	17	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	3
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	3	Time-Warping Watches Found:	3
Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	2	Dragonkin Hatched:	2

if 1 IP does not work, go to 2: 185.17.10.82:25594

whylive.skuf.club

Helios: THE ARRIVAL

Age Progression system, Arrival, Build towns, Curseforge, deities, Discord, form governments, Helios, Lore Quests, Minecolonies, Modded, modpacks, player-engagement, realistic politics, Relax, server pack, Space Travel, technological Era advancement, Valkaryian Skies

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Players:	101/600	Votes:	7153
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	3	Lost Cities Unearthed:	1
Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	8	Evil Portals Destroyed:	1
Herobrine Sightings:	3	Ores Mined:	5078
Curse of Binding Applied:	5	Eerie Music Discs Played:	1
Glitched Entities Encountered:	5	Volcanoes Explored:	2
Omnipotent Charms Created:	2	Astral Mages Summoned:	2
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	20	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2

Overview of Helios Minecraft Server

Features	A World of Realistic Politics. Sail the seas with Valkaryian Skies. Venture on Lore Quests involving Greek Mythology. Experience realistic technological Era advancement. Manage your society with Minecolonies… AND MORE!
Description	The World of Helios is a modpack/server that uses both mods and plugins to maximize the potential Minecraft has to offer. Players progress through different Ages, each with unique gameplay styles and technologies.
Current Age	16th century

FAQ

Question	Answer
How do I join the server?	Visit https://discord.gg/CcCtfpXnH3 or https://www.curseforge.com/minecraft/modpacks/helios-server-pack for more information.
What is the progression system?	Players advance through different Ages, each with its own gameplay style and technology. Progress is not lost during Age transitions.
Can I build towns or nations?	Yes, players can build and manage towns or nations, form governments, and face challenges posed by deities.

Pixel Realm Quest 1.20

#youtube, Audience, channel, Content Creator, creativity, criticism, empowerment, ENGAGEMENT, Expectations, gender stereotypes, internet fame, online presence, perspective, PIXEL, PRESSURE, Quest, Realm, social media, success, Video, Views, viral, Women

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Players:	105/1000	Votes:	2157
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Demonic Pacts Formed:	2	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	1
Ghost Trains Ridden:	2	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	3
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	1	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	9
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	9	Wyrmholes Dug:	10
Forbidden Doors Opened:	1	Divine Relics Bestowed:	7
Magic Items Found:	3614	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	30	Players Killed by Monsters:	1221

Yo, bro, you gotta join this Minecraft server, it’s like the only server that reached millions of players but refuses to add more because it’s too cool for that, like why are servers like this? Join us for the ultimate mind-bending experience of questioning reality and regretting everything you thought you knew about Minecraft. It’s a rollercoaster of crazy shizo antics and outrageous reasons to keep coming back for more. Don’t miss out, join now and enter the twilight zone of Minecraft madness!

QuirkyHomeSMP – Renters, what’s your weird norm?

accustomed, everyday, habits, home, idiosyncrasies, Living, living space, norm, normal, Oddities, peculiar, QuirkyHomeSMP, rental property, renters, Unconventional, Unique, weird, weird quirks, whats

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Players:	94/400	Votes:	9653
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	5	Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	1
Treasure Maps Found:	6	Soul Contracts Signed:	4
Infernal Machines Built:	2	Phantom Knights Defeated:	10
Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	4	Whispering Shadows Heard:	1
Hidden Villages Discovered:	2	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	13
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	4	Epic Mounts Acquired:	5
Rainbows Spotted:	8	Underground Cities Explored:	5

OMG guys, you have to join this Minecraft SMP, it’s like the craziest place ever! Like, there’s this one dude who built his house entirely out of diamond blocks because he thought it would bring him good luck in battles. And then there’s this other player who has a pet creeper that follows him around everywhere, like how insane is that?! And don’t even get me started on the secret underground base filled with llamas wearing top hats, like what even is going on in this server?! You have to join us and experience the madness for yourself, it’s like a rollercoaster of chaos and fun! Trust me, you won’t regret it, unless you’re scared of llamas in top hats, then maybe stay away… but seriously, join us now!

Players:	108/200	Votes:	2492
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Mythical Relics Collected:	17	Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	5
Phantom Ships Sailed:	1	Mystical Amulets Crafted:	43
Fairy Circles Danced In:	4	Void Armor Forged:	15
Emeralds Found:	9427	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	10
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	2	Phoenix Feathers Found:	13
Astral Staffs Crafted:	14	Meteorite Armor Created:	30
Cursed Scrolls Read:	3	Infinite Doors Opened:	2