jokes that hurt Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

CrudeCraft SMP – Unleash the Chaos

acknowledgment, Africans, anti-racism, ashamed, Blacks, Chaos, Competition, competitive, CrudeCraft, Cultural differences, Enzo is le racist, Europeans, hate, inferiority complex, jokes that hurt, prejudice, smp, Sportsmanship, Stereotypes, symbiotic relation, team dynamics, the crude reality, truth behind jokes, Unleash

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Players:	103/900	Votes:	4487
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Cursed Statues Activated:	1	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	12
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	4	Quantum Bards Serenaded:	5
Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	6	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	2
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	2	Horror Stories Survived:	4
Battle Standards Raised:	11	Lost Cities Unearthed:	5
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	1	Fairy Circles Danced In:	4
Infinity Stones Found:	4	Endless Staircases Climbed:	3

Looking for a Minecraft SMP that’s as wild as this theory? Look no further, because our server is where all the drama and alliances happen! Join us if you want to experience the ultimate clash of cultures and rivalries in the Minecraft world.

Why join our server, you ask? Well, where else can you find Europeans teaming up with Africans, all while secretly despising each other? It’s like a reality show, but in Minecraft form! Watch as players try to outdo each other while hiding their true feelings behind a facade of friendship.

And if you’re looking for some intense competition, look no further. Our server is where the best of the best come to prove their skills, even if it means teaming up with their sworn enemies. Who needs allies when you can have frenemies, right?

So come join us on our server, where alliances are made and broken, and where the drama never ends. Who knows, you might just find yourself caught up in a web of deceit and betrayal, all in the name of Minecraft glory. See you there!

Cum Glaze Craft – Minecraft Server

Craft, Cum, faces, faces of friends, Friends, friends you want, friends you want to, glaze, glaze with, glaze with your, glaze with your hot, hot, hot cum, hot cum faces, IRL, irl friends, long tail, Minecraft, Server, tags, Want, you want to glaze, you want to glaze with

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Players:	98/700	Votes:	5141
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	207	Mythical Relics Collected:	19
Mythical Quests Completed:	24	Haunted Mines Explored:	1
Phoenix Feathers Found:	9	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	183
Paranormal Events Investigated:	4	Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	3
Dimension Hops:	4	Epic Mounts Acquired:	4
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	3	Villages Defended:	17

Are you tired of playing on boring Minecraft servers where the only excitement is mining for diamonds? Well, look no further because on our server, you can glaze the faces of your irl friends with your hot cum! That’s right, forget about building elaborate structures or battling mobs, the real fun is in giving your friends a sticky surprise they won’t soon forget.

Join us for a wild ride where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a towel or two). Who knows, maybe you’ll become the cum-glazing champion of the server and earn bragging rights among your fellow players. So come on, what are you waiting for? Join us and let the cum-glazing commence!

AstroWitchReturns Minecraft SMP

Astronauts, AstroWitchReturns, boeing, crew 9, dragon capsule, jeetliner, launch date, Minecraft, NASA, NASA blog, NASA schedule adjustments, Ogre, operational flexibility, smp, space exploration, space mission, Space News, space technology, Space Travel, space travel updates, space witch, spacex, stranded astronaut

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Players:	108/700	Votes:	5443
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Void Gems Collected:	23	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3
Falling into the Void:	3	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	0
Phantom Blocks Placed:	2	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3
Epic Bosses Defeated:	0	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	2
Eerie Music Discs Played:	3	Runic Tablets Deciphered:	20
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	7	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	10
Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	7	Whispering Shadows Heard:	5

🚀🪐 Looking for a Minecraft SMP that’s out of this world? Well, look no further because our server is so lit that even NASA had to rearrange their schedule just to accommodate our astronaut and space witch players! Forget about Boeing, they’re officially ogre in our books. Join us for a cosmic adventure like no other, where you can build your own rocket ship and explore the galaxy with your fellow blocky astronauts. Who needs a jeetliner when you can soar through the stars in style on our server? Don’t miss out on the fun, join now and let’s blast off into the unknown together! 🌌🔥 #SpaceCraftingMadness

BabysitterSwap Minecraft Server

activities, affordability, affordable, Assessment, autism, babysitter, BabysitterSwap, childcare, Communication, compromise, Crafts, Date night, Decision making, Diagnosis, DoorDash, family, loyalty, Minecraft, NANNY, parenting, Routine, Schedule, Server

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Players:	108/600	Votes:	6103
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Astral Mages Summoned:	4	Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	7
Reality Warps Survived:	0	Epic Mounts Acquired:	6
Endermen Teleportation Errors:	1	Gryphons Tamed:	3
Endless Staircases Climbed:	1	Phantom Ships Sailed:	1
Wailing Winds Heard:	1	Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	3
Portal Loops Escaped:	3	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	1
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	35	New Chunks Explored:	948800

Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as reliable as our babysitter, Amelia? Look no further! Our server has been keeping kids entertained for years, just like Amelia has with our own children.

Amelia’s “sweet spot” was 2022-2023, just like our server’s peak was when we first launched. She always had games and activities planned, just like our server always has exciting events and challenges.

But just like Amelia, our server has evolved over time. Sometimes we’re a little late to updates, and we might order DoorDash for ourselves (virtual pizza party, anyone?). But hey, we’re still affordable and full of love for our players.

Join our server and experience the magic of finding someone as good as Amelia for the same price – because who needs a new sitter when you’ve got a Minecraft server this awesome? Plus, we promise not to diagnose your kids with anything (unless they’re addicted to mining diamonds, then we might have to intervene). So come on in and let the fun begin!

BlockBucksBrawl

Asshole, BlockBucksBrawl, cigarettes, family, Food, health, Household, income, insurance, mini stroke, MONEY, parents, Priorities, ptsd, RESPONSIBILITY, selfish, Siblings, stress, Support, Therapy, tight finances

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Players:	99/700	Votes:	1204
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Eldritch Scrolls Read:	4	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	1
Whispering Caves Entered:	5	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Astral Projections Made:	2	Dragons Tamed:	2
Reality Warps Survived:	2	Celestial Crowns Worn:	5
Gnome Villages Protected:	3	Ancient Ruins Explored:	1
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	1	Falling into the Void:	1
Cursed Taverns Survived:	2	Shadow Wolves Tamed:	3

Are you tired of taking care of everyone else’s messes while your own life falls apart? Join our Minecraft server and escape the chaos of reality! We promise no one will ask you for money for cigarettes, because in our virtual world, cigarettes don’t even exist! Plus, our special therapy practice involves building pixelated houses and battling creepers, guaranteed to cure any stress-induced mini strokes. So come join us and leave your real-life problems behind – after all, who needs therapy when you have Minecraft?

DailyDoseOfMinecraftSMP

daily habits, DailyDoseOfMinecraftSMP, Exercise, goal-setting, Gratitude, healthy living, hydration, learning, meditation, mindfulness, nutrition, positivity, productivity, reading, Reflection, Relaxation, Routine, self-care, Sleep, socializing, Time management

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Players:	104/500	Votes:	5763
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Spontaneous Duels Fought:	11	Dragon Eggs Found:	7044
Magical Familiars Summoned:	2	Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2
Dark Rituals Completed:	9	Magic Scrolls Discovered:	4
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	2	Mines Excavated:	1424
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	5	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	340
Forbidden Grimoires Read:	4	Infernal Machines Built:	1
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	3	Secret Libraries Discovered:	3

Join our Minecraft SMP and experience the chaos of trying to survive in a world where the cows have taken over and demand to be worshipped as the true rulers of the land. Don’t worry, they’re actually pretty chill once you offer them a diamond or two. Plus, our server is the only place where you can find a secret underground disco party hosted by creepers who have surprisingly good taste in music. So come join us and see if you have what it takes to navigate through the madness and come out on top as the ultimate Minecraft champion!

ScentlessCraft

anosmia, aroma, emotional connection, favorite scent, Fragrance, longing, Loss, Memories, missing, Nostalgia, olfaction, olfactory, scent memory, ScentlessCraft, sense loss, sense of smell, sensory deprivation, sensory deprivation disorder, sensory experience, sensory perception, sensory processing

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Players:	104/100	Votes:	8851
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Evil Lairs Raided:	2	Epic Battles Fought:	14
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	2	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	10
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	2	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	6
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	1	Mythical Swords Crafted:	96
Time-Warping Watches Found:	1	Dimension Hops:	6
Treasure Maps Found:	9	Mystery Villagers Spotted:	4
Legendary Scepters Created:	6	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	1

If you suddenly lost your sense of smell, the smell you’d miss the most would be the scent of our epic Minecraft server! Why join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Legend has it that our server is home to a magical land where pigs fly, cows dance, and creepers tell jokes (they’re not very good at it, but they try). Plus, our diamond mines are rumored to be so rich, even Herobrine is jealous! So come join us and experience the most fragrant adventure of your Minecraft life!

SSMP: Where the only thing whiter than our sheep is the whitelist

ADMIN, Builds, Claiming, Economy, Farms, gameplay, Highways, Infrastructure, Jobs, Limits, multiplayer, Plugins, Redstone, rules, Semi Vanilla, Sheep, Shop, Shops, SSMP, Survival, tps, Whitelist, WHITER

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Players:	98/200	Votes:	2357
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Portal Loops Escaped:	1	Elemental Crystals Collected:	30
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	1	Unicorn Sightings:	1
Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	7	Omnipotent Charms Created:	1
Werewolf Howls Heard:	4	Shattered Realms Restored:	1
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	28	Vanishing Items Found:	5
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	0	Legendary Heroes Trained:	5
Gnome Villages Protected:	5	Eclipse Rings Activated:	3

Server Name	SSMP: Simple Survival, 1.21
Description	SSMP takes survival multiplayer back to the fundamentals. We don’t place limits on gameplay, as long as it doesn’t break our simple rules. This server is for those who enjoy creating large scale builds and redstone without being limited by weird and complicated claiming plugins or poor TPS. Our economy has no admin involvement, we do not have an admin shop or jobs or anything additionally complicated.
Features	2 /sethomes + bed easy /spawn access developed server infrastructure (public farms, player shops, highways) rare head drops physical and active player-based economy gravity, TNT, rail and string dupe permitted

Join our server using the IP address: SSMP.io

Our server also has an active discord server. Join by typing /discord while in-game.

We support bedrock connections. Use port 63809.

FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions

How do I join the server?

To join the server, use the IP address SSMP.io in your Minecraft client.

Are there any limits on gameplay?

We do not place limits on gameplay as long as it follows our simple rules. Feel free to create large scale builds and redstone contraptions.

Can I use mods on the server?

We allow some mods, but please make sure they do not give you an unfair advantage over other players.

Is there an admin shop or jobs on the server?

No, our economy has no admin involvement. We do not have an admin shop or jobs system.

What is the discord server for?

Our discord server is a place for players to chat, coordinate, and stay updated on server events and announcements.

LadariusCraft Minecraft Server

African American, aspiration, black american, culture, desire, Diversity, dream, ethnicity, FANTASY, first name, heritage, Identity, Irish surname, Ladarius, LadariusCraft, longing, Minecraft, Multiculturalism, name.., racial identity, self-identity, Server, Wishful thinking

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Players:	105/1000	Votes:	6980
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	2	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	0
Cosmic Pies Baked:	7	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	3
Dark Rituals Completed:	9	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	1
Fabled Crowns Discovered:	9	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3
Ores Mined:	2386	Talking Trees Consulted:	6
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	1	Invisible Walls Found:	3
Crystal Palaces Visited:	3	Dragon Eggs Hatched:	2

Are you tired of being a boring old Steve or Alex in Minecraft? Well, on our server, you can be whoever you want to be – even a black American with a Ladarius-like first name and an Irish surname! Join us and live out your wildest identity fantasies in the blocky world of Minecraft. Who knows, maybe you’ll even discover a hidden treasure of leprechaun gold at the end of a rainbow! So why wait? Join our server now and let the madness begin!

Lost in Blocks – Minecraft SMP /ptng/ #139

Base incidents, blocks, CN Banner History, CN Levelling Calculator, CN Schedule, CN Tier List, CN Wiki, Crimebrand priority, Embers of Long Night, Eugenics, Faded Pursuit, Glimmer in the Shadows, Guide Compilation, Hypercube income, Lost, Mania Training, Minecraft, Nasty, Path to Nowhere General, ptng, secret societies, Shop efficiency, Sinner Build Guides, smp, Tier List

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Players:	96/600	Votes:	3036
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Meteor Showers Witnessed:	2	Lunar Scepters Activated:	11
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	2	Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1
Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	3	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	3	Mineshafts Explored:	5
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	1	Shadow Realms Conquered:	1
Heroic Legacies Created:	2	Endless Mazes Conquered:	4
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	3	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	4

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old events and activities? Well, look no further because our server is the place to be for some truly wild and wacky adventures!

Join us for the [Embers of Long Night] event where you’ll have to survive against hordes of zombie pigmen armed with nothing but a carrot on a stick! Or how about the [Glimmer in the Shadows] arrest event where you’ll have to outsmart the sneaky Endermen trying to steal all your diamonds?

But wait, there’s more! Take part in the [Faded Pursuit] directional arrest and try to catch the elusive creeper who’s been causing chaos in the village. And don’t forget about the [Mania Training] phase 7 where you’ll have to navigate a maze filled with exploding TNT blocks!

Join us now and experience the madness for yourself. Who knows, you might even uncover the secret societies lurking in the shadows (/ptng/ in sig when applying). And don’t forget to redeem the secret codes (sɓu!ʇʇǝs ʇunoɔɔⱯ u! ɯǝǝpǝꓤ)sǝpoꓛ for some extra surprises!

So what are you waiting for? Come join our server and let the chaos begin!

ExWifeBoyfriendMCServ

alone, amicable, bbq, Boyfriend, CoParenting, crying, Divorce, drinks, ex wife, ExWifeBoyfriendMCServ, family gathering, Friends, Gathering, Movie, parents, Party, saturday, sister, texted, Therapist, UNCOMFORTABLE

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Players:	96/600	Votes:	2617
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Mimic Chests Discovered:	2	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	1
Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	8	Shadow Realms Conquered:	0
Evil Portals Destroyed:	1	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Epic Battles Fought:	10	Mythical Swords Crafted:	51
Glitched Entities Encountered:	2	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	47
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	7	Spontaneous Duels Fought:	13
Teleportation Mishaps:	1	Phantom Ships Sailed:	5

Are you tired of family drama ruining your weekends? Come join our Minecraft server where the only drama you’ll find is between you and those pesky creepers!

Our server is the perfect escape from real-life chaos. Build your dream world, mine for diamonds, and battle it out with other players in epic PvP matches. Who needs a family BBQ when you can have a blocky adventure with us?

Plus, our community is so supportive that even if you decide to take a break and have some alone time, no one will send you angry messages about ruining the party. We understand the importance of self-care, especially when it involves watching movies and having drinks alone in the comfort of your own virtual world.

So leave the family drama behind and join us for a Minecraft experience like no other. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find a new in-game family that’s way cooler than your real one!