boughtered

1. Our server is guarded by a team of highly trained llamas who will spit on any griefers trying to ruin the fun. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with these llama warriors.

2. The spawn point is actually a secret portal to a dimension filled with flying pigs and talking chickens. Who knows what kind of adventures await you there!

3. Our community is so welcoming that even the creepers have decided to join in on the fun. Don’t worry, they promise not to blow up your builds… most of the time.

4. Want to become a Minecraft millionaire? Well, rumor has it that there’s a hidden treasure chest filled with diamonds, emeralds, and enchanted gear somewhere on the server. Good luck finding it before someone else does!

So what are you waiting for? Join us now and become a part of this wacky, wild, and totally unpredictable Minecraft world. Just remember, this is canon and you will read it.