my shit ain’t parallel Minecraft SMP | New Minecraft Servers 2024

Welcome to the most chaotic Minecraft SMP you’ll ever encounter! Our server is so wild that even the blocks can’t stay in line, they’re all over the place like a bunch of drunk villagers on a Saturday night.

Join us if you want to experience the thrill of trying to build a house with walls that are more crooked than a witch’s nose. And don’t even get me started on the mobs – they’re so confused by the wonky terrain that they end up walking in circles like lost sheep.

But hey, if you’re looking for a challenge and a good laugh, then this is the place for you. Just be prepared to have your mind blown by the sheer absurdity of it all. So come on in, grab your pickaxe, and let’s get this party started!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	103/500	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Celestial Crowns Worn:	4	Wilderness Tamed:	15
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	3	Chimeras Created:	2
Endermen Teleportation Errors:	5	Buildings Constructed:	26
Dark Rituals Completed:	5	Wyrmholes Dug:	8
Cursed Villages Purged:	4	Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	8

Random Fact: Whimsical But True: A player planted a garden of enchanted roses that sing—they’re the most beautiful alarm clocks ever.

Kiras Kingdom

Cross-Play, Economy, Survival, Survival Games

We are a Minecraft 1.20 server in Survival Plus mode set in a medieval style. Our desire is to be your entertainment server where you can spend time creating your own adventure as well as make companions and friends with whom to share whatever you want.We have: OP Fair, Skills, RTP, Backpacks, Clans, Protections, Rankup, Giveaways, Boxes, Custom Enchantments, Economy, Tombs, Marriages, Shop, Elevators, Kits, Pets, Missions, Jobs, Homes

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	108/400	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1	Dragon Scales Harvested:	469
Cursed Taverns Survived:	1	Werewolf Howls Heard:	4
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	45	Secret Libraries Discovered:	1
Ancient Ruins Explored:	3	Divine Relics Bestowed:	13
Mystic Mirrors Unlocked:	4	Crystal Palaces Visited:	2

Random Fact: Whimsical Fact: A player built a house entirely out of enchanted marshmallows—soft, sweet, and always smells like vanilla.

TownySMP Earth

Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, PvE, Roleplay, Survival, Towny

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	101/100	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Infinite Doors Opened:	1	Orbs of Power Found:	3
Cursed Villages Purged:	3	Towns Built:	9
Teleportation Mishaps:	3	Invisible Walls Found:	4
Whimsical Tea Parties Held:	11	Infinity Stones Found:	5
Underground Cities Explored:	4	Divine Spears Created:	21

Random Fact: Whimsical Fact: A player built a house entirely out of enchanted marshmallows—soft, sweet, and always smells like vanilla.

DragonShield

Cross-Play, MCMMO, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival

drgnshield.com | br.drgnshield.com 19132 Step into the Minecraft world of DragonShield, a server noted for its welcoming atmosphere and active community. We take a firm stance against any toxic behavior to keep the server a pleasant place for everyone.DragonShield’s unique feature, PlayTime Ranks, rewards you simply for playing. The more you play, the better your rank becomes. Advancing in rank provides benefits like better kits and perks including back, feed, additional homes, hats, and much more.Tired of the same old mobs? We’ve got a selection of over 20 custom mobs like Watchers, Smoke Demons, Dead Miners, and Crawling Skellys, all awaiting you below level 60.Enjoy weekly boss events and challenging dungeon experiences. The bosses come with complex attack systems and over 30 different abilities. Hurry though – the loot rewards go to the quickest and smartest players who land the last hit.DragonShield’s enchants system offers a massive 300 different enchantments. Earn them through regular enchanting or buy them with EXP. We’ve got everything, from PvP to mining enchants to other interesting effects.DragonShield accommodates both offline mode and non-premium players We also offer cross-play for Bedrock players. So why wait? Jump into DragonShield and experience Minecraft from a fresh perspective.

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	96/400	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Hidden Passages Discovered:	4	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	2
Unseen Monsters Slain:	4	Omnipotent Charms Created:	4
Celestial Gardens Planted:	7	Runes Activated:	6
Dark Rituals Completed:	7	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	299
Cosmic Pies Baked:	7	Crystal Caves Mapped:	3

Random Fact: Magical Moment: A player once planted a tree that grew a swing—it’s now the best spot for relaxing with friends.

Belly Server

Economy, MCMMO, Mini Games, Parkour, PvE, PvP, Survival

Server de Minecraft Beuteugeu Server | IP: mc.beuteugeu.com Our Website: http://www.beuteugeu.com/

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	99/300	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Divine Relics Bestowed:	9	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	3
Magic Wands Crafted:	13	Infinite Doors Opened:	3
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0	Enchanted Forests Planted:	8
Royal Courts Attended:	4	Glitched Entities Encountered:	4
Cursed Amulets Found:	1	Evil Twin Fights:	3

Random Fact: Magical Mystery: A player tamed a dragon only to find it loves tea parties—talk about an unexpected guest!

GTAMC Network

Economy, Factions, PvE, PvP, Roleplay, Survival, Towny

A new GTAMC server which proudly features NO IN-GAME PURCHASES! Come check us out and help us build up a community – Explore the vast city of Greenfield! – Loot chests for powerful guns; shoot other players and take their items! – Buy and sell items at spawn (or trade with other players!) – Lead or join a gang and take control of the streets! – Rent houses to store all of your gear! – Complete unique quests and take on a small GTA-inspired storyline! – Go achievement-hunting with our fun achievements system! – Unlock extra permissions by ranking up using in-game money! – Be a part of intense server events! – Compatible with MC Versions 1.8 – 1.20DONATE: paypal.com/sean44104

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	107/400	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Divine Relics Bestowed:	15	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	11
Werewolf Howls Heard:	5	Immortal Anvils Forged:	10
Chaos Gates Opened:	3	Divine Spears Created:	29
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Whispering Shadows Heard:	1
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	3	Royal Decrees Issued:	0

Random Fact: Whimsy Alert: Zombie dances are the number one pastime here!

firestarter

Cross-Play, Economy, PvE, Survival

firestarter is a simple, cozy, and relaxing community SMP! Whether you’d like to play the game with friends or contribute to community projects, we have a bit of something for everybody!a few of the things we offer: – player-driven economy and player-run shops – grief protection and land claiming – frequent community events – tons of small quality-of-life tweaks – java + bedrock cross-play – a friendly, fair, and respectful communityYou may also be interested in checking out our handbook (https://firestartermc.com/handbook) for more information. We’d love to see you online! 🧡

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	90/800	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Astral Amulets Crafted:	19	Alien Abductions:	0
Lost Cities Unearthed:	3	Paranormal Events Investigated:	4
Crystal Wands Charged:	18	Spectral Entities Defeated:	6
Cosmic Pies Baked:	2	Meteorites Collected:	2
Whispering Shadows Heard:	2	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	0

Random Fact: Sweet Lore: A player once tamed a unicorn by offering it a sugar cube—it now follows them everywhere, leaving a trail of sparkles.

PrimordialMC

Creative, Cross-Play, Economy, Factions, PvE, PvP, Survival

PrimordialMC is a java/bedrock crossplay server with multiple gamemodes including Factions, Skyblock, SMP, and Creative Plots!BEDROCK SUPPORTEDIP: primordialmc.com (Bedrock Port: 19132)[1.8 -> 1.19] are supported!» Factions » Skyblock » SMP » Creative Plots

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	97/400	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	1	Ores Mined:	4984
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	1	Endless Mazes Solved:	2
Rainbows Spotted:	6	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	25
Dragonkin Hatched:	5	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3
Whispering Shadows Heard:	2	Legendary Items Repaired:	5

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.

Beacoland Survival

Survival, Vanilla

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	105/900	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Cursed Diamonds Mined:	1	Divine Relics Bestowed:	6
Moonlit Rituals Performed:	6	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	14
Evil Twin Fights:	3	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	48
Phantom Rings Equipped:	24	Battle Standards Raised:	11
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	15	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3

Random Fact: Did you hear? The most powerful magic item found this week was a spoon that can bend reality.

CubedMC

Economy, MCMMO, PvE, Survival, Towny

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	93/400	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Cosmic Hamsters Found:	5	Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	4
Ancient Ruins Explored:	2	Cursed Swords Broken:	3
Portal Loops Escaped:	0	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	2	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	4
Secret Libraries Discovered:	3	Orbs of Power Found:	11

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Someone once caught a cosmic hamster, and now it’s the server’s unofficial mascot!

SkyMata

Cross-Play, Economy, Mini Games, Parkour, PvP, Survival, Towny

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	94/600	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Magical Moments Shared:	25	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	6
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	3	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	1
Potions Brewed:	85	Treasure Maps Found:	12
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	2	Ender Pearl Glitches:	2
Crystal Caves Mapped:	5	Soul Contracts Signed:	4

Random Fact: True Story: Someone actually managed to craft a god-killer bow using only cursed artifacts—talk about a paradox!

Cobbletwo

Economy, Pixelmon, PvE, Survival, Towny

IP: play.cobbletwo.com https://cobbletwo.tebex.io What does this server have?MEGA EVOLUTIONS SUPER TOWER BATTLE MORE THAN x400 POKÉMONS MORE THAN x600 PLUSHES OVER x500 CHARMS TONS OF REWARDS CUSTOM GENERATION PROTECTS SYSTEM GTS MARKET SYSTEM POKÉMON BREEDING POKÉDEX REWARDS

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	95/900	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Mystic Mirrors Unlocked:	4	Epic Battles Fought:	20
Reality Warps Survived:	0	Astral Staffs Crafted:	5
Dragon Eggs Found:	5527	Lunar Scepters Activated:	10
Demonic Pacts Formed:	0	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	8
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	2	Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	1

Random Fact: Whimsical Lore: A player once befriended a cloud that now follows them around, raining only when they need a cool down.

PoliticaMC

Survival, Towny, Vanilla

A Brazilian geopolitical minecraft server, siegewar warfare, world building, immersive roleplay and more!

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	108/600	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Chaos Gates Opened:	2	Starry Nights Enjoyed:	26
Unicorn Sightings:	0	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	2
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	2	Phantom Blocks Placed:	9
Horror Stories Survived:	3	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	6
Endless Staircases Climbed:	2	Immortal Anvils Forged:	16

Random Fact: Did You Hear? A player accidentally enchanted their bed to sing lullabies—now they fall asleep faster than ever.

Royal Legacy

Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, Prison, Skyblock, Survival, Towny

This year we celebrated our 9 year anniversary! We are one of the oldest servers still around! Play with endless custom content with daily updates to improve the server continuously! Bedrock: mc.royallegacy.net 19312 Java: mc.royallegacy.net 25565* Survival – Rule the Economy with custom claiming! 1.19 * Skyblock – Upgrade to the Biggest Island! 1.19 * Prison – Upgrade your pickaxe to become FREE! 1.19

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	98/300	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	5	Emeralds Found:	7598
Shadow Figures Spotted:	4	Potions Brewed:	179
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	6	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	11
Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	4	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	1
Star Shards Collected:	181	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	8

Random Fact: Random Tidbit: Dragons here prefer tea parties over battles.

Hogwarts Network

Creative, Cross-Play, KitPvP, Mini Games, PvP, Survival, Vanilla

HOGWARTS NETWORK IP: mchogwarts.net BEDROCK: puerto: 8191 VERSION: 1.20.2 (Compatible 1.18 onwards) DISCORD: ds.mchogwarts.net TYPE: Survival, PVE/PVP, RPG, Economy, Pokeballs, Tombs, Virtual Chests, Missions, Protections.

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	92/300	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Astral Staffs Crafted:	12	Epic Weapons Forged:	7
Backwards Speech Heard:	1	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	40
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	4	Phantom Blocks Placed:	5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Dragon Eggs Found:	4584
Rune Stones Activated:	12	Fairy Circles Danced In:	3

Random Fact: Whimsical Truth: A player found a patch of grass that giggles when you walk on it—it’s impossible to walk by without smiling.

Tekkit 2 by CraftersLand

Economy, FTB, PvE, PvP, Survival, Tekkit

░░░ Website: www.craftersland.net | Forum: forum.craftersland.net ░░░>> Server address: tekkit2.craftersland.net░░░░░░ Server Info: ░░░░░░ > Grief Prevention land claim system. > Economy – Server Shops, Market and Auctions. > Daily and Vote Rewards. > Clans and PvP. > Server Live map. > Tekkit 2 Modpack

Updated September 30, 2024

Players:	104/700	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Undead Armies Raised:	3	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	188	Endless Legions Commanded:	44
Astral Projections Made:	4	Towns Built:	8
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	9	Invisible Pathways Walked:	7
Secret Guilds Joined:	4	Phantom Blocks Placed:	10

Random Fact: Whimsical Truth: A player found a patch of grass that giggles when you walk on it—it’s impossible to walk by without smiling.