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Ever wanted to battle giant spiders that traveled 3,000 miles in a box of bananas just to terrorize a UK school? Well, now’s your chance! Our server is crawling with creepy crawlies just waiting to give you the fright of your life.

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But wait, there’s more! We’ve got IT outages delaying the import of perishable items to the UK by up to 20 hours, tories demanding the return of stop and search, and even a ban on schools teaching children about gender identity! It’s a rollercoaster of craziness that you won’t find anywhere else.

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