swordguard – New Minecraft Servers (May 2025)

The Poopocalypse: Minecraft SMP

bathroom, challenge, cleaning, Cleanup, DIRTY, Disaster, feces, Foul, gross, hygiene, Mess, Minecraft, odor, OVERWHELMING, Poop, Poopocalypse, sanitation, Sewage, smp, stench, unhygienic, Unpleasant, Waste

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where the only rule is to never question how much poop is scattered throughout the server. Seriously, it’s everywhere. But hey, at least it adds a nice, rustic touch to the landscape, right?

Join us for epic adventures like trying to tame the wild poop monsters that roam the land, or participating in our annual Poop Olympics where players compete in events like Poop Hurdles and Poop Tossing. Trust us, it’s a real blast.

And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon the legendary Poop Sword, rumored to be the most powerful weapon in the game. Just be careful not to get too close to it, or you might get a whiff of its deadly stench.

So come on down to our Minecraft SMP and embrace the chaos. Just don’t forget to bring your shovel and a strong stomach.

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
PixelPerfect Minecraft Server

Minecraft, PixelPerfect, Server

Are you tired of your mom constantly trying to show off your achievements on social media? Join our Minecraft server where your accomplishments are kept private and your mom can’t brag about you to her friends!

We understand the struggle of wanting to keep things to yourself, that’s why on our server, we prioritize your privacy and personal space. No more worrying about your mom sharing your graduation photo without your consent – we’ve got your back!

Plus, if your wife ever betrays you by sending that photo to your mom behind your back, we’ll make sure she faces the consequences in-game (no physical violence, of course). So come join us for a fun and drama-free Minecraft experience where you can escape the chaos of family dynamics and just focus on building and exploring!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
CraftyCampNoWay

bad behavior, Boundaries, boy power trip, camping trip, Communication, compromise, CraftyCampNoWay, cranky, custody, dramatic, emotional, family dynamics, moody, parenting, puberty, refusal, social media, stepdad, Strict Parenting, tween, uncle

Looking for a Minecraft server that understands the struggles of tween boy power trips? Look no further! Our server is like a virtual puberty playground, complete with moody, emotional, and cranky players just like Ethan. Join us for some epic play fights and death stares, all while navigating the delicate balance of giving space and boundaries.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is the perfect escape for those who are tired of family drama. Sick of your mom and stepdad posting embarrassing pictures of you online? Join our server and never worry about unwanted social media exposure again. We promise not to post any pictures of you, unless you’re doing something super cool and fun (and between the ages of 14 to 25, of course).

And if you ever find yourself in a custody battle over Labor Day camping trips, don’t worry – we’ve got your back. Our server is a drama-free zone where you can stand your ground and refuse to go on family trips without fear of being forced against your will. Plus, we have strict rules against meddling stepdads and uncles calling the shots – because here, the players are in charge.

So come join us on the most outrageous Minecraft server around, where tween boy power trips are not only accepted, but encouraged. Who knew virtual puberty could be so much fun?

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New Server IP
ForbiddenFragrance

forbidden delights, forbidden pleasures, forbidden scents, forbidden smells, ForbiddenFragrance, guilty pleasures, hidden delights, hidden scents, illicit aromas, off-limits scents, peculiar aromas, secret indulgence, secret scents, surprising scents, taboo fragrances, taboo scents, unconventional odors, unexpected favorites, unique fragrances, unusual favorites, unusual scents

Are you tired of smelling roses and lavender all day? Well, on our Minecraft server, you can indulge in the intoxicating scent of freshly baked creeper pies and smelly zombie feet! Join us for a whiff of excitement and adventure like never before! Who knew that forbidden smells could be so enticing in the world of Minecraft? Join now and let your nostrils be tantalized like never before!

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New Server IP
TreePhoto Minecraft Server

air pollution, carbon dioxide, carbon sequestration, climate change, ecological damage, ecosystem, environmental degradation, environmental impact, Environmental Science, global warming, microplastics, Minecraft, nanoplastics, photosynthesis, plant health, plastic particles, Pollution, research, scientific study, Server, Tree, tree health, TreePhoto

lolz come join our epic minecraft server where nanoplastics are interfering with tree photosynthesis! why would you want to miss out on all the wacky adventures of trying to save the trees while building your own epic treehouse fortress? plus, who wouldn’t want to see what happens when you mix nanoplastics with creepers? it’s a wild ride of chaos and creativity that you won’t find anywhere else. so come on, grab your pickaxe and get ready for some seriously messed up fun on our server!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
PutinCraft: Mongolian Adventure

Adventure, Arrest warrant, diplomatic visit, global politics, government visit, head of state, HUMAN RIGHTS, International Criminal Court, international relations, justice system, Kremlin, legal implications, legal obligations, mongolia, Mongolian, official announcement, political trip, PutinCraft, russian president, summit meeting, Travel itinerary, Vladimir Putin, world leader

OMG u guyz u gotta join dis epic Minecraft server cuz Vladimir Putin is gonna visit Mongolia next week and he’s gonna play with us! He’s gonna bring his pet bear and ride it around spawn, it’s gonna be lit AF! Plus, if u join, u might get a chance to arrest him and hand him over to the International Criminal Court for some extra loot or something. It’s gonna be wild, so join now before Putin steals all our diamonds! #PutinPlaysMinecraft #MinecraftDiplomacy

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New Server IP
GutCraft: Poopocalypse!

abdominal pain, Adults, Aging population, bloating, Bowel Movements, constipation, digestive disorders, Digestive health, Elderly, gastrointestinal health, gastrointestinal issues, gut health, gut microbiome, GutCraft, human gut, Microbiome, microbiota, microorganisms, Poopocalypse, research, Seniors, trigger

So, like, yo, join dis Minecraft server cuz we got da cure for constipation, bro! Our virtual world is filled with magical microorganisms that will keep yo gut in check, no more bloating or abdominal pain, y’all! And get this, if you’re over 60, our server will literally make yo bowels move like never before, it’s like a virtual laxative, dude! So come on and join us, where constipation is a thing of the past and poopin’ is a party!

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New Server IP
”SmiteCraft Server”

action, battle arena, Combat, competitive, divine powers, FANTASY, Gaming, Gaming Community, Gods, MOBA, multiplayer, Mythology, online gaming, Server, smite, Smite 2, Smite Bros, SmiteCraft, strategy, team-based, video game, Warriors

Are you tired of playing on boring old Minecraft servers where all you do is mine and build? Well, look no further because on our server, we have a secret weapon that will blow your mind – the Smite Bros! These guys are like the Avengers of Minecraft, except they’re all decked out in diamond armor and ready to kick some creeper butt.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is also home to the legendary Blocky Bandits, a group of mischievous players who are known for their epic pranks and hilarious antics. You never know what they’ll do next, but one thing’s for sure – you’ll be laughing your blocky butt off the whole time.

And if that’s not enough to convince you to join, how about this: we have a secret underground lair filled with treasure beyond your wildest dreams. Rumor has it that there’s even a hidden portal to the Nether, where you can battle fiery demons and collect rare resources.

So what are you waiting for? Join us on the most epic Minecraft server of all time and prepare for a wild ride with the Smite Bros, the Blocky Bandits, and a whole lot of crazy adventures. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
SassySistersMC SMP – “Why are creepers so explosive?”

CREEPERS, discrimination, double standards, Emotional Abuse, explosive, female aggression, female anger, female competition, female empowerment, female insecurity, female resentment, female rivalry, female solidarity, gender inequality, gender stereotypes, hateful, Misogyny, SassySistersMC, sexism, smp, societal pressure, toxic behavior, toxic femininity, Women

Tired of getting griefed by creepers and zombies? Looking for a place where women aren’t constantly trying to steal your diamonds? Look no further than our Minecraft SMP! We’ve got a community of players who are all about building epic bases and going on wild adventures. Plus, our server is so safe that even the Ender Dragon is scared to show its face. Join us and leave those hateful women behind – it’s time to game in peace and harmony!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
SisInLawSuxButILoveMinecraft

baby shower, best friends, Canada, Communication, December 6, December 7, due date, eras tour, location sharing, maternity leave, nest egg, Pregnancy, San Diego, SELLING, SisInLawSuxButILoveMinecraft, sister-in-law, Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift fan, TICKETS, ultrasound pics, vancouver

Hey there, fellow Minecrafters! Are you tired of boring servers with no excitement? Well, have I got the server for you! Join us for a wild ride filled with crazy adventures and hilarious shenanigans.

Picture this: You spawn in and immediately find yourself in a world where pigs fly and creepers dance to Taylor Swift songs. That’s right, we’ve got a special Taylor Swift-themed area where you can jam out while building your dream base.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is known for its epic baby shower events. That’s right, we throw the wildest baby showers in all of Minecraft. You never know what surprises await you, from baby zombies in diapers to diamond pacifiers.

And if that’s not enough to convince you, just know that we have a strict “no nail tech stealing concert tickets” policy. So rest assured, your tickets to the Eras Tour are safe with us.

So come join us on this wacky journey and let’s create some unforgettable memories together. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find a new best friend who won’t ditch you for a nail tech. See you in the game!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP