patterns from a problematic upbringing

Firstly, you’ll never believe the backstory of our server! Legend has it, it was created by a cult of llamas who demanded the finest diamond tacos! Yep, you heard that right! If you don’t join, you might wake up one day to find a llama on your pillow, staring at you with those judgemental eyes! I’ve seen it happen! 👀

And don’t get me STARTED on the players! You want outrageous? We’ve got players who think crafting a cake is a form of dark magic. Last week, Timmy tried to summon the Nether just to bake cookies. Spoiler: 10 WITHER SKELETONS showed up instead! 😂 Now Timmy is on a quest to collect them all like Pokémon. That’s right, we play Minecraft like it’s Pokémon Go now! Who needs rules?

Oh and speaking of chaos, we have a literal “Creeper Rain” day where every Tuesday, creepers just fall from the sky like it’s some twisted birthday party, and if you don’t get blown up at least once, you’re officially a wuss! Bring your best armor and maybe a therapist.

We also have this insane redstone inventor named Bob – he once built a machine that turns your mom’s voice into cat noises! I swear, he’s working on a contraption that cures boredom by exploding every 5 minutes. So come prepared for both laughs and possible existential dread.

Join us for the weekly “Defend the Cow” tournament where you have to protect the sacred moo-ing beast from wave after wave of pixelated hunger-intoxicated zombies wanting cheeseburgers. If you fail, you get banned to “The Nether of Bad Builds” where you have to live in a house made of mud blocks for a week. 🙈

Seriously, if you’re tired of boring adult life, dive into this craziness because I promise you’ll leave with a new friendship, existential crisis, and possibly a llama on your shoulder. 😂🐑

So what are you waiting for? Your mom’s approval? Pfft! Join this ridiculous Minecraft SMP today before it gets taken down by the llama overlords! 🦙🔥