Snape is an East Asian or hapa hottie (Henry Golding or that dude from Warrior), McGonagall is a fierce black woman (Adjoa Andoh slaying the game), and Lupin is just your average white dude. Nymphadora is an East Asian cutie, the Malfoys are even more bigoted and white (Tom Felton is Lucius, of course), and Hagrid is a big black dude (think the guy from Sweet Tooth).
Voldemort is a white incel (think teenage DJ Qualls, yikes), Pettigrew is just your average white guy, and Sirius is a “badboy” South Asian (played by Sayid from Lost or Vilgefortz from The Witcher). Bellatrix, being related to Sirius, is also South Asian and fierce as heck.
Neville might be white, but who knows, he might get poo’d (😂), Cedric is a mulatto dreamboat, Filch is a creepy white dude, and the Hogwarts student and faculty body is a wild mix of 50% white, 40% black, and 10% everything else. Come join the chaos and let’s make some magical memories together! ✨🧙♂️🔮 #MinecraftMadness
Our server is filled with insane challenges and obstacles that will test your skills and patience to the limit. From lava-filled mazes to zombie-infested dungeons, you’ll never have a dull moment on our server.
But don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom. Our evil overlord also loves to throw epic parties with fireworks, music, and unlimited cake. So come join us if you dare, and see if you have what it takes to survive in the most diabolical Minecraft server ever created!
but wait, there’s more! our server is also home to the legendary flying llamas that poop out diamonds. yes, you read that right. diamonds. from llama poop. it’s a sight to behold, let me tell you.
if that’s not enough to convince you to join, how about the fact that our server is guarded by a giant chicken with laser eyes? that’s right, a giant chicken. with. laser. eyes. he’s pretty chill once you get to know him, though.
so what are you waiting for? come join our server for the most ridiculous and hilarious minecraft experience of your life. who knows, you might even find a white butt plug or two along the way.
| Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Towny Plugin | Build your own towns and forge connections in a supportive environment. |
| Origins Mod | Choose from unique Origins, each with special abilities that suit your playstyle. |
| Immerse yourself in rich, ongoing lore or create your own character and story. | |
| Custom Content | Discover unique weapons, armor, blocks, and more to enhance your journey. |
| Cooking & Bakery System | Grow custom crops and craft delicious recipes. |
| Optional PvP | Engage in friendly battles or focus on peaceful exploration. |
| Optional Voice Chat | Connect with others in real-time for a more immersive experience. |
A: Join our Discord and apply for the whitelist to be part of the magical world!
A: Starlight SMP supports both cracked and premium Java Edition players.
A: Yes, the Towny plugin allows you to build your own towns and forge connections.
A: The Origins Mod lets you choose from unique Origins with special abilities to suit your playstyle.
A: PvP is optional, you can choose to engage in friendly battles or focus on peaceful exploration.
But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to the legendary Diamond Chicken, rumored to lay diamonds instead of eggs. And if you’re lucky, you might stumble upon the mystical Unicorn Village where rainbows are made of candy and the villagers ride around on magical llamas.
So why wait? Join our server now and experience the craziest, wackiest, and most absurd Minecraft adventure of your life! Trust us, you won’t regret it (unless you’re allergic to fun, in which case, maybe stick to the boring servers).
Reasons to join: – No more being called dramatic for wanting to avoid natural disasters – We won’t dump you for listening to your parents and prioritizing your safety – Our server is hurricane-proof, so you can game worry-free
Don’t let your partner’s Disney obsession get in the way of your survival instincts. Come join us and build a virtual world where hurricanes are just a distant memory and safety always comes first!
