metacritic spoof – New Minecraft Servers (May 2025)

CraftyNostalgia

Beloved, cherished, Childhood, CraftyNostalgia, Discontinued, Favorite, Forgotten, Items, Long Gone, Memories, miss, no longer available, Nostalgia, obsolete, past, product, sentimental, Throwback, vintage, wish they brought back, yearning

Remember that one time when you were able to buy a pet rock that came with its own tiny leash and sunglasses? Yeah, we miss that too. But fear not, for on our Minecraft server, we have recreated the magic of the pet rock in pixelated form! Join us and relive the glory days of ridiculous products that should have never existed in the first place. Plus, rumor has it that if you find the hidden pet rock cave on our server, you’ll be granted three wishes by the pet rock king himself. So what are you waiting for? Join us now and let the nostalgia flow!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
LuffyMC

Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, One Piece Anime Towny SMP Jobs MCMO PvP Arena Custom Enchants Friendly Chill Environment Fun Inspire Focus Invite Community Adventure Roleplay Survival Creativity, PvE, PvP, Towny

Luffy Minecraft – Only Fun people are allowed to join. One Piece anime has inspired this minecraft server with our main focus on Luffy. Luffy MC is a towny/smp Minecraft server that is a chill friendly environment. We aim to be friendly and inviting to all. Features: · Towny, · SMP, · Jobs, · MCMO, · PvP Arena and so much more including custom Enchants

play.luffymc.com Click to copy

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New Server IP
Endless Adventure 1.21.1

1.21.1, Adventure, ANNOYING, b.., Board, bye, done, Endless, fed up, frustrating, fucking, Goodbye, internet trolls, LEAVING, no longer enjoyable, not interesting, officially done, Online Community, porn, porn boards, Spam, spammers, toxic environment

Yo, forget about /b/ and come join our Minecraft server! We got spammers too, but they’re all friendly creepers who just want to blow stuff up for fun. Plus, we don’t need porn here because our pixelated pigs are way sexier than anything you’ll find on a board. Say goodbye to the chaos of /b/ and hello to the insanity of our server. Join now and let’s build some crazy shit together!

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New Server IP
ExCreeperCourt

broken promises, credit card debt, dog expenses, ExCreeperCourt, financial accountability, financial agreements, financial betrayal, financial consequences, financial responsibility, financial strain, financial support, ghosting, legal action, legal consequences, pet ownership, relationship fallout, shared expenses, small claims court, taking ex to court, trust issues, unpaid debts

Are you tired of being taken advantage of by your ex? Join our Minecraft server and let out all your frustrations in a virtual world! Build a castle to keep out all the freeloaders, or create a maze to trap those who refuse to pay their debts.

Our server is filled with players who have been ghosted, scammed, and left high and dry by their exes. Let’s band together and seek revenge in the most epic way possible – through blocky battles and pixelated pranks.

Join us now and let’s show those exes who’s boss in the world of Minecraft! Remember, revenge is best served blocky.

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New Server IP
CatastrophicCraft SMP

CatastrophicCraft, coping with adversity, growth mindset., inner strength, mental resilience, mental toughness, mindset change, mindset coaching, mindset shift, mindset transformation, overcoming catastrophic mindset, overcoming challenges, overcoming fear, overcoming negativity, personal growth, positive mindset, Positive Psychology, positive thinking, resilience building, self help, self improvement, smp

Yo yo yo, listen up fam! If you wanna join this lit Minecraft SMP, lemme tell you why you gotta be here. First of all, we got diamonds for days, like seriously, our caves are filled with bling bling. And if that ain’t enough to convince you, we also got a secret underground base where we throw wild parties every night. Trust me, you don’t wanna miss out on that.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is also home to the legendary Chicken King, a giant chicken who rules over all the other animals with an iron beak. If you can defeat him in battle, you’ll be granted with unlimited chicken nuggets for life. I mean, who wouldn’t want that, am I right?

And last but not least, we have a secret society of llamas who are plotting to take over the server. They’re super sneaky and always up to no good, but if you can earn their trust, they’ll help you achieve ultimate power. So come join us and be part of the craziest Minecraft adventure you’ll ever experience!

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New Server IP
CraftyCuisineCraft

authentic recipes, best cuisine, CraftyCuisineCraft, culinary delights, culinary experiences., culinary exploration, delicious cuisine, diverse flavors, exotic flavors, food culture, fusion cuisine, global cuisine, global gastronomy, gourmet cuisine, international cuisine, mouthwatering dishes, popular cuisine, top cuisines, traditional dishes, unique dishes, world cuisine

Do you want to join a Minecraft server that serves up the most delicious virtual cuisine in the world? Well, look no further! Our server offers a menu filled with pixelated delicacies that will make your taste buds explode with joy. From creeper-shaped cookies to diamond-encrusted cake, we’ve got it all!

But that’s not all – our server is also home to a secret underground restaurant run by a group of mischievous villagers. Rumor has it they serve up dishes so tasty, they’ll make you forget you’re playing a blocky video game.

So come on down to our server and feast like never before! Who needs real food when you can have a virtual feast fit for a Minecraft king? Join us now and let the culinary adventures begin!

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New Server IP
DroneSwarmMC Server

Advanced technology, Autonomous, defence minister, Defense, drone, DroneSwarmMC, Government, innovation, innovation testing., Military, military technology, new, SECURITY, Server, Swarm, Sweden, Technology, technology testing, test, UAVs, unmanned aerial vehicles, WARFARE

so like, u know how drones are like those flying thingies that spy on u and stuff? well, in this server, we got DRONE SWARMS. yep, u heard me right. imagine a bunch of drones flying around, doing who knows what. it’s like a sci-fi movie come to life, but in minecraft.

our defence minister is all about it, saying it’s gonna revolutionize the way we play. he’s even testing it out in sweden, because why not? who needs real life when u can have drone swarms in a virtual world?

so if u wanna be part of this crazy, futuristic world, join our server. who knows what kind of shenanigans u’ll get up to with those drones buzzing around. plus, u might even get to meet the defence minister himself. now that’s a story to tell your grandkids.

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New Server IP
SovietCraft: Blame the West!

Blame, Conflict, defense technology, Destruction, Euromaidan Press, foreign policy, international relations, military alliance, military defense, military equipment, military intelligence, military operation, military strategy, Misinformation, north korean, political tension, Propaganda, russians, SAM system, security breach, SovietCraft, West, Western-made radar

come join our epic minecraft server where russians destroy their own north korean-made sam system because they thought it was a “western-made radar” LOL like seriously, who does that? we have so much chaos and confusion, you won’t know what’s real and what’s just a glitch in the matrix. plus, our admins are actually trained dolphins who can build underwater cities in seconds. true story. so come on over and experience the madness for yourself!

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New Server IP
Heart Attack Gender Gap – Men vs Women

Attack, body size, cardiovascular disease, cardiovascular health, deadly, Diagnosis, gap, gender, gender disparities, Guidelines, health disparities, Heart, Heart condition, Heart Disease, heart health, medical guidelines, Medical research, Men, research, sex differences, sex-specific guidelines, study, Women, Women’s Health

so, like, this server is like, totally epic, bro. like, you gotta join cuz we got this crazy research that shows why more dudes than chicks get heart disease. like, whoa, right? turns out, women might not be getting diagnosed cuz the guidelines don’t, like, consider the diff between dudes and chicks. so, like, join our server and maybe you’ll learn some crazy stuff about hearts and stuff. plus, we got like, unicorns and rainbows and all that jazz. so, like, join now and be part of the heart disease revolution, bro.

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New Server IP
Enchanted Quests 1.21.1

#Intention, 1.21.1, analyze, Communication, confusion, Context, context clues, decipher, Enchanted, hidden message, implication, inference, Interpretation, Meaning, Motive, puzzled, question.., Quests, reading between the lines, speculation, uncertainty, Unclear, understand

Join our Minecraft server for a wild ride of chaos and madness!

Experience the thrill of exploring a world where pigs fly and creepers dance!

Build your own empire and rule over a land filled with unicorns and rainbows!

Fight epic battles against evil llamas and zombie chickens!

Unleash your inner creativity and build a giant statue of a potato!

Don’t miss out on the chance to join the craziest Minecraft community ever!

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New Server IP