Machete slots – New Minecraft Servers (April 2025)

Vent – Down Bad Edition Minecraft SMP
#venting, bad, Catharsis, Community, coping, Downbad, Edition, emotional release, emotions, Empathy, feelings, healing, letting it out, mental health, Minecraft, Release, self-care, Self-expression, sharing, smp, stress relief, Support, Therapy, Understanding, vent
Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone takes themselves too seriously? Well, look no further because our SMP is the place to let loose and have a blast!
Join us for epic adventures, ridiculous pranks, and a community that’s always up for a good laugh. Need a break from mining and crafting? How about a spontaneous llama race or a skydiving competition off the tallest tower in the server?
But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that our server is home to a secret underground disco party where the mobs let loose and show off their best dance moves. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon the legendary diamond-encrusted potato that grants wishes (or just makes a really tasty french fry).
So what are you waiting for? Come join us on our wild and wacky SMP where the only rule is to have fun!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
CryCraft: AITA Coworker Tears
Communication, Conflict Resolution, Confrontation, coworker, coworker conflict, CryCraft, emotional response, equal treatment, Manager, medical field, parental responsibilities, Professionalism, scheduling conflict, set schedule, single parent, sports and classes, Tears, tenure, unfair treatment, work environment, work schedule, work-life balance
Looking for a Minecraft server where drama unfolds like a soap opera? Look no further than our server, where the employees are like characters straight out of a reality TV show!
Join us and witness the epic saga of a single mom with young kids who has to navigate through the treacherous waters of coworker complaints about her schedule. Will she have to give up her Fridays and disrupt her entire life just to please one crybaby coworker? Find out on our server!
Experience the thrill of workplace confrontations that end in tears, as coworkers battle it out over who gets to have Fridays off. It’s like a game of survival of the fittest, but with more office drama and less actual survival.
So if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that’s more intense than a daytime soap opera, join us now! Just remember, in this world, fairness is just a myth and tears are the currency of drama.

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
RegrettableSteve – Minecraft SMP
deepest regret, Guilt, healing, learning from mistakes, letting go, Minecraft, missed opportunities, moving on, past mistakes, personal growth, Reflection, regret, RegrettableSteve, SELF AWARENESS, Self Discovery, self improvement, self love, self reflection, self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, shame, smp
Are you tired of living with the regret of not joining the most epic Minecraft SMP ever created? Well, fret no more, because this server is here to cure all your woes!
Join us for a wild ride filled with crazy adventures, hilarious mishaps, and unexpected friendships. Our server is so lit, even the creepers are dropping sick beats!
But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that Herobrine himself makes guest appearances to challenge players to dance-offs. Can you out-dab the infamous ghostly figure?
So what are you waiting for? Join now and let the laughter and chaos ensue! Your deepest regret will be missing out on all the fun this server has to offer.

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
ParentalRoastCraft
childhood memories, childhood trauma, coping mechanisms, damaging words, Emotional Abuse, emotional scars, family, family dynamics, forgiveness, Healing Process, hurtful words, mental health, parental criticism, parental neglect, ParentalRoastCraft, parents, self reflection, self-esteem issues, Therapy, toxic relationships, verbal abuse
Are your parents constantly roasting you like a marshmallow over a campfire? Well, we’ve got the perfect escape for you! Join our Minecraft server where you can build a virtual fortress to protect yourself from their savage insults.
Our server is filled with magical unicorns that poop rainbows, flying pigs that drop diamonds, and talking llamas that give out free hugs. Plus, if you join now, you’ll get a special power-up that turns your character into a superhero with the ability to shoot laser beams from your eyes.
So say goodbye to your parents’ hurtful words and hello to a world where you can be anything you want to be. Join our server today and let the laughter and fun begin!

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New Server IP
Brainstem Bungalow – Minecraft Server
blood pressure, brain scans, Brainstem, Breathing, breathlessness, Bungalow, control centre, Covid patients, COVID symptoms, FATIGUE, functions, healthcare implications, heart rate, hospitalised, inflammation, long covid, long term, Medical research, Minecraft, neurological effects, respiratory system, Server, Severe Covid infections
Yo, dis server be like a party for yo brain, but not in a boring sciencey way, nah. We got brainstem inflaming action goin’ on up in here! Join dis server and let yo brain go wild with all da crazy functions like breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure!
We got brain scans of peeps hospitalised with Covid, showin’ off all da cool stuff happenin’ in yo noggin. Plus, we got long-term breathlessness and fatigue for all yo long COVID patients out there.
So come on down to dis Minecraft server and let yo brainstem get lit! Who needs normal brain functions when you can have all dis excitement goin’ on? Join now for a brain-tastic time!

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New Server IP
Meta Minecraft Server: Less Than One Week!
anticipation, Conference, countdown, Event, EXCITEMENT, less than one week, Meta, metaphor, metaphor conference, metaphorical anticipation, metaphorical celebration, metaphorical conference, metaphorical countdown, metaphorical event, metaphorical event planning, metaphorical event preparation, metaphorical excitement, metaphorical gathering, Minecraft, one week countdown, Server, Upcoming Event, Week
Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where all you do is mine and build? Well, get ready for a server that will blow your mind – literally! Our server is so wild, you’ll feel like you’re in a parallel universe where pigs can fly and creepers do the cha-cha!
Join us on our server and experience the thrill of riding on giant chickens, battling evil villagers with diamond swords, and exploring secret dungeons filled with treasure (and maybe a few traps, but who’s counting?). And don’t even get us started on the epic PvP battles that will have you laughing so hard, you might just fall off your blocky throne!
But that’s not all – we have special events happening every day leading up to the grand opening of Metaphor! From pixelated parades to llama races, there’s never a dull moment on our server. So grab your pickaxe and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime – because on our server, the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few pesky Endermen, but we don’t talk about them). See you on the other side, blockheads!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
Tony Khan BTFO of an E-Drone Minecraft SMP
BTFO, Communication, controversy, Digital, Drama, E-Drone, edrone, Entertainment, internet, Khan, KWAB, Minecraft, online feud, smp, social media, Technology, Tony, TONY KHAN, Tony Khan burn, Tony Khan clapback, Tony Khan response, Tony Khan roast, Tony Khan tweet, twitter, viral
Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where you have to follow the rules and play nice? Well, look no further because our SMP is the wildest ride you’ll ever experience in the blocky world!
Join us for epic battles with giant chickens, quests to find the legendary diamond-encrusted potato, and secret underground dance parties with creepers! Our server is so insane, even Herobrine himself is scared to log on.
But wait, there’s more! Join now and you’ll receive a free pet llama that spits out diamonds (Disclaimer: diamonds may or may not be real). So what are you waiting for? Come join our SMP and let the chaos begin!

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New Server IP
ParentalPiggybacker
Adult, Christian, college fund, college student, Disown, expensive gift, financial support, Gay, iPhone, laptop, Leeching, Lifestyle, Mac laptop, ParentalPiggybacker, parents, privileged, rug-pulled, safe position, south-asian household, sunk cost fallacy, ungrateful
Are you tired of living a privileged life and feeling like a leech? Join our Minecraft server and experience a whole new world where you have to fend for yourself and earn everything you have! No more freebies from your parents, it’s time to be independent in the virtual world.
On our server, you’ll have to mine for your own resources, build your own shelter, and fight off mobs all on your own. No more relying on Dad to cook you breakfast or buy you a new laptop – it’s time to show your true skills in survival mode.
And if you’re feeling extra rebellious, come out as gay on our server and see how your virtual family reacts. Will they disown you like you fear your real family will? Or will they accept you for who you are and support you no matter what?
So come join our server and prove that you’re not just a leech, but a true Minecraft warrior ready to take on any challenge that comes your way. Plus, who knows, maybe you’ll even earn that new Mac laptop through your hard work and dedication in the game. It’s time to level up and show the world what you’re made of!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
RegretfulRide Minecraft SMP
AVOID, avoid this car, bad experience, CAR, Disappointed, DISAPPOINTING, do not recommend, frustrating, LEMON, Minecraft, mistake, never buy again, not worth it, poor quality, regret, regretful purchase, RegretfulRide, smp, Terrible Experience, unreliable, unreliable car, Waste of Money, worst car
Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is finding a new block of dirt? Well, look no further because our server is like a wild rollercoaster ride through the Nether!
Join us if you want to experience the thrill of dodging creepers while riding a pig with a saddle, or battling a horde of zombies with nothing but a carrot in hand. Our server is so crazy that even the Ender Dragon is afraid to show its face around here!
And if that’s not enough to convince you, rumor has it that there’s a secret treasure hidden somewhere in the world that will grant you unlimited diamonds for life. But be warned, the last player who tried to find it ended up getting lost in a maze of TNT traps set by a mischievous group of baby zombies.
So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and prepare for the most insane Minecraft experience of your life! Just make sure to bring your sense of humor and a healthy dose of courage, because you never know what kind of shenanigans you’ll encounter in this wacky world.

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New Server IP
NoWayInNebraskaMC
America, AVOID, decision, Destination, dislike, Explore, never go, NoWayInNebraskaMC, opinion, Preference, State, tourism, travel, united states, unpopular, US State, vacation, Visit
Are you tired of boring old US states? Well, look no further because our Minecraft server is the place to be! We guarantee you’ll never have to set foot in that dreaded state again once you join us. Why waste your time in a state when you can explore our virtual world filled with unicorns, flying pigs, and diamond-encrusted chickens? Trust us, you’ll never look back once you experience the magic of our server. So say goodbye to that boring state and hello to the adventure of a lifetime!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP