Garth Coonce

But, like, don’t worry, you won’t get lost because we have, like, the most epic spawn town ever. It’s like, a giant castle made out of diamond blocks and guarded by dragons. And, like, if you’re lucky, you might even find a secret passage that leads to a hidden treasure room filled with, like, stacks of enchanted golden apples and diamond armor.

And, like, the best part is that we have the most epic events ever. Like, every full moon, we have a giant mob battle where you have to fight off hordes of zombies, skeletons, and creepers to win epic loot. And, like, every Friday night, we have a giant fireworks show that lights up the sky with all the colors of the rainbow.

So, like, come join us on this totally epic Minecraft server and see if you can survive the madness. Just be careful not to get lost like the Russians did, dude!