bruised balls Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

Hangover Minecraft SMP

alcohol, alcohol-induced injuries, begging, bros, broskis, bruised balls, busted nut, Drinking, Drunk, EMBARRASSING, embarrassing moments, Friends, funny, hangover, Minecraft, nuts, Party, pisses myself, regret, smp, sore nuts, WTF

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Players:	110/500	Votes:	5911
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Farms Harvested:	434	Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	3
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	2	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	4
Demon Skulls Collected:	36	Eternal Flames Captured:	5
Legendary Scepters Created:	2	Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	2
Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3	Ores Mined:	2177
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	3	Pirate Ships Raided:	2
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	1	Infernal Machines Built:	0

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where even your virtual nuts can get bruised! Join us for wild nights of drinking with the broskis, where anything can happen. From accidentally peeing on yourself to begging your friends to stop on your nuts (ouch), our server is full of outrageous moments that you won’t find anywhere else. So if you’re looking for a truly unique and hilarious Minecraft experience, come join us and see if you can survive the madness. Just be sure to protect your virtual nuts at all costs!

CraftySuicide Minecraft Server

coping strategies, CraftySuicide, depression, mental health, mental health awareness, Mental health resources, mental illness, Minecraft, seeking help, self harm, Server, suicidal behavior, suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, SUICIDE, suicide awareness, suicide hotline, suicide intervention, Suicide prevention, suicide risk assessment, suicide survivor, support groups, Therapy

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Players:	101/300	Votes:	7685
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Arcane Towers Raised:	4	Orbs of Power Found:	11
Living Shadows Defeated:	3	Reality Distortions Fixed:	1
Evil Twin Fights:	1	Mythical Quests Completed:	37
Potions Brewed:	76	Werewolf Howls Heard:	2
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	2	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4
Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	4	Ghost Trains Ridden:	0
Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	5	Runic Tablets Deciphered:	47

Are you tired of the mundane grind of everyday life? Want to escape the endless cycle of work and responsibility? Look no further than our Minecraft server! Join us and experience a world where the only thing you’ll be killing is creepers, not yourself. Our server is so addictive, you’ll forget all about those dark thoughts of ending it all. Plus, rumor has it that diamonds have magical powers to bring good luck and happiness – who needs therapy when you have Minecraft? So come on, join us and let’s build a world where the only thing you’ll be killing is time.

Roman’s Extreme Makeover Minecraft Server

adaptation, Cancer, changed color, chemotherapy, emotional changes, EXTREME, EYES, facial structure, health, Hope, makeover, Medical, Minecraft, oncology, personal growth, physical changes, Recovery, resilience, Román, ROMANS, Server, Support, survivor, transformation, Treatment

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Players:	93/1000	Votes:	6012
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2	Cursed Villages Purged:	4
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	3	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	7
Wailing Winds Heard:	2	Haunted Mines Explored:	1
Divine Relics Bestowed:	9	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	8
Hidden Passages Discovered:	4	Treasure Maps Found:	3
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	5	Paranormal Events Investigated:	5
Blood Moons Survived:	2	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	23

Join our Minecraft server and experience a whole new level of transformation like Roman did! Our server is so epic, it can even change your entire facial structure and eye color! Who needs plastic surgery when you have our server, right? Come join us and witness the magic for yourself!

MomLiesMC Server

Boundaries, Communication, Dysfunctional family, Emotional Abuse, emotional manipulation, family dynamics, Family secrets, Gaslighting, Honesty, Manipulation, MomLiesMC, mother-daughter relationships, neglect, parental relationships, personal boundaries, personal space, Self Respect, self worth, Server, sibling relationships, toxic relationships, Trust

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Players:	97/800	Votes:	9755
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Divine Spears Created:	13	Ender Pearl Glitches:	4
Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	2	Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	2
Rune Stones Activated:	2	Void Gems Collected:	34
Emeralds Found:	3584	Glitched Entities Encountered:	2
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	1	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	10
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	161	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	5
Haunted Forests Traversed:	3	Mimic Chests Discovered:	5

Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as drama-filled as your family gatherings? Look no further! Join our server for a rollercoaster of emotions and betrayal just like this player’s relationship with their mom.

Just like this player’s mom, our server will promise you the world and then ghost you when you least expect it. Birthdays? Who needs ’em! We’ll ignore them just like this player’s mom ignored theirs.

But don’t worry, we’ll make sure to come visit when it’s convenient for us, just like this player’s mom did with their sister. Need a place to crash while we visit someone else? We got you covered!

And if you ever call us out on our lies, we’ll accuse you of being controlling and jealous. Because who needs honesty when you can have manipulation and gaslighting?

So come join our server for a wild ride of emotional manipulation and deceit. Who needs a stable family when you can have a dysfunctional Minecraft server instead?

HomelessCraft

apartment, arguments, bread winner, family, Gaslighting, HomelessCraft, homelessness, House work, income, Inheritance, kitchen, mental health, Messy, Mortgage, Mother, ownership, renting, sister, summer break, Tantrum, University

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Players:	108/200	Votes:	8471
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Mythical Relics Collected:	15	Legendary Heroes Trained:	2
Divine Relics Bestowed:	6	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1
Lava Oceans Crossed:	1	Runes Activated:	7
Living Statues Befriended:	1	Inescapable Mazes Solved:	2
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	12	Titanic Relics Retrieved:	5
Mythical Swords Crafted:	100	Elemental Crystals Collected:	75
Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	2	Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1

Join our Minecraft server and escape the drama of real life like this poor soul who had to deal with a messy family situation! On our server, you can build your own virtual home without worrying about messy roommates leaving food crumbs everywhere. Plus, you won’t have to deal with any gaslighting or inheritance drama – just pure, unadulterated fun in the world of Minecraft! So come join us and leave your real life problems behind – after all, who needs a $1.6 million house when you can have a virtual mansion in our server? Let’s block out the negativity and build a brighter, blockier future together!

SkillSwap Minecraft Server

accelerated learning, expertise acquisition, instant learning, mastering skills, Minecraft, personal development, quick learning, quick mastery, quick skill acquisition, quick skill development, rapid skill development, self improvement, Server, skill acquisition., skill enhancement, skill mastery, skill mastery desire, skill mastery dream, skill mastery goal, skill perfection, skill proficiency, SkillSwap, talent acquisition

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Players:	98/800	Votes:	9490
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Mysterious Portals Opened:	19	Horror Stories Survived:	7
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	12	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0
Dragon Hoards Looted:	1	Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	7
Void Armor Forged:	24	Wailing Winds Heard:	2
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	3	Villages Defended:	15
Divine Relics Bestowed:	6	Evil Lairs Raided:	7
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	1	Goblin Markets Raided:	3

If you join our Minecraft server, you’ll instantly master the skill of taming wild llamas with just a wink and a smile! Imagine riding into battle on a majestic llama steed, leading your army to victory with your newfound llama-whispering abilities. Don’t miss out on the chance to become the llama king of our server – join now and start your llama-riding adventures today!

CraftyCompliments

Achievements, Appearance, Charm, communication skills, compliments, Confidence, CraftyCompliments, creativity, emotional intelligence, fashion sense, intelligence, Kindness, leadership abilities, listening skills, Personality, positivity, self esteem, sense of humor, Skills, Talents, work ethic

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Players:	102/400	Votes:	3601
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Epic Weapons Forged:	7	Magical Moments Shared:	18
Infernal Machines Built:	2	Haunted Mines Explored:	3
Moonlit Rituals Performed:	3	Immortal Potions Brewed:	8
Mines Excavated:	2722	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	4
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1	Eternal Flames Captured:	3
Evil Lairs Raided:	8	Unicorn Sightings:	0
Titanic Battles Fought:	29	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	1

Are you tired of being called a noob on other Minecraft servers? Well, fear not, because on our server, you’ll be praised for your impeccable block-placing skills and your ability to survive the most treacherous of creeper explosions!

Join us and become the ultimate Minecraft legend, known far and wide for your epic builds and your uncanny ability to tame wild wolves with just a single bone. Rumor has it that on our server, diamonds rain from the sky and pigs can fly (literally)!

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and bask in the glory of being the most admired player in all of Minecraft history. Who knows, you might even catch a glimpse of Herobrine doing the Macarena in the spawn village!

CraftyCommies Minecraft Server

#sustainability, bill, carbon emissions, carbon footprint, carbon pricing, carbon tax, climate change, CraftyCommies, economic impact, energy consumption, energy policy, environmental damage, environmental impact, Fossil Fuels, global warming, greenhouse gases, international relations, Minecraft, Pollution, russia, Server, ukraine war, war consequences

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Players:	110/300	Votes:	8719
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	5	Royal Courts Attended:	2
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	3	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	8
Secret Libraries Discovered:	5	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	5
Vanishing Items Found:	2	Gryphons Tamed:	2
Divine Scrolls Written:	11	Astral Amulets Crafted:	39
Zombie Dances:	6	Celestial Beings Befriended:	3
Eldritch Scrolls Read:	7	Void Armor Forged:	23

lol imagine if russia had to pay a BILL for all the carbon emissions from the ukriane war like oops sorry mother nature here’s $32 billion for the mess we made hahaha. but hey, forget about that and come join our minecraft server where the only thing you’ll be emitting is laughter and fun! we have so many crazy builds and mini-games that you’ll forget all about those pesky carbon emissions. plus, rumor has it that herobrine himself plays on our server and he’s always up for a good time. so come on over and let’s make some memories together, because life’s too short to worry about carbon footprints when you could be building giant statues of steve riding a pig instead!

CraftyGenocide – Build, Survive, Conquer!

BELIEF, BUILD, Conflict, Conquer, CraftyGenocide, Crisis, Destruction, eastern europe, fear, Genocide, international relations, Invasion, military aggression, Misinformation, nationalism, opinion, Perception, Politics, Propaganda, russia, survey, SURVIVE, Ukraine, War

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Players:	97/100	Votes:	2316
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	7	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2
Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	3	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	1
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	2	Haunted Mines Explored:	2
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	14	Demon Skulls Collected:	42
Paranormal Events Investigated:	5	Endless Night Skies:	4
Epic Bosses Defeated:	3	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	9
Dark Rituals Completed:	9	Forgotten Legends Remembered:	10

So, like, have you heard about this Minecraft server? It’s like, totally epic, bro. Like, did you know that 60% of Ukrainians believe that Russia’s main goal in war is genocide and destruction of nation? Crazy, right?

But like, forget about all that serious stuff, come join our server instead! We have flying pigs that shoot lasers out of their eyes and rainbow-colored creepers that explode into a shower of candy. It’s like a party in your computer, man.

And get this, on our server, you can ride on the back of a giant chicken and battle evil unicorns for magical crystals. Plus, every player gets their own pet dragon that farts rainbows and can grant wishes. It’s like a dream come true, dude.

So, like, why waste your time worrying about real-world problems when you can escape to our crazy Minecraft server? Join now and let the madness begin!

ReceiptCraft: SlowComms

Communication, digital behavior, digital communication, efficiency, email, email tracking, instant messaging, Messaging, messaging apps, Notifications, online communication, online etiquette, productivity, Read receipts, read status, ReceiptCraft, response time, SlowComms, slowed down communication, Technology, text messages, Tracking

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Players:	106/400	Votes:	4351
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Werewolf Howls Heard:	5	Necronomicon Pages Collected:	4
Royal Decrees Issued:	4	Unicorn Sightings:	1
Immortal Anvils Forged:	10	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	12
Crystal Palaces Visited:	1	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	19
Dark Rituals Completed:	7	World-Altering Spells Cast:	2
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	22	Twisted Realms Survived:	1
Whispering Caves Entered:	6	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	19

sooo like, u ever wanted to join a minecraft server that is so epic, it will make ur brain explode? welllllll, u gotta join this server cuz like, the read receipts have slowed down communication so much that u will literally feel like ur in a different dimension. u will be like, “woah, am i even in minecraft anymore?” but don’t worry, u are, and it’s gonna be the most wild ride of ur life. join now and experience the chaos for urself. u won’t regret it, i promise.

DebrisCraft: Dementia Edition

9/11 attack responders, cognitive decline, cognitive impairment, data analysis, debris exposure, DebrisCraft, dementia, dementia risk, Edition, emergency responders, environmental hazards, first responders, health outcomes, health risks, high exposure group, long-term effects, mental health, neurological disorders, occupational exposure, post-traumatic stress disorder, public health, severe exposures, world trade center

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Players:	100/200	Votes:	4173
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	4	Endless Staircases Climbed:	3
Shadow Figures Spotted:	8	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	1
Shadow Realms Conquered:	0	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	1
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	1	Void Armor Forged:	23
Enchanted Forests Planted:	10	Gods Slained:	2
Titanic Battles Fought:	13	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	10
Wyrmholes Dug:	5	Ender Pearl Glitches:	1

LOL JOIN OUR MINECRAFT SERVER AND GET A 30 TIMES HIGHER CHANCE OF GETTING DEMENTIA! WE GOT DEBRIS EXPOSURE FOR DAYS, Y’ALL! IF YOU WANT TO DEVELOP DEMENTIA FASTER THAN A SPEEDING CREEPER, THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE! OUR PLAYERS WITH SEVERE EXPOSURES HAVE A WHOPPING 42 TIMES THE RISK OF LOSING THEIR MINDS! COME ON IN AND LET THE MADNESS BEGIN! #DEMENTIAFORDAYS #CREEPERSPEED #LOLZVILLE