bretthax Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

SecuredCraft SMP – LinuxLolz

desktop operating systems, Desktoptards, eBPF, Firejail, flatpak, GNU/Linux desktops, insecure, JIT compiler, JIT spraying, kernel, less secure, linux kernel, LinuxLolz, MacOS, malicious application, memory unsafe language, MS-DOS security model, no strong sandboxing, RCE vulnerability, sandboxing applications, SecuredCraft, security vulnerabilities, smp, Snap, unfixed bugs, user space code, W^X violation, Weak sandboxing, windows 10

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Players:	97/200	Votes:	1511
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Rune Stones Activated:	5	Powerful Allies Recruited:	7
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	9	Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	3
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	8	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	443
Potions Brewed:	73	Gnome Villages Protected:	9
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	5	Lost Cities Unearthed:	1
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	3	Quantum Bards Serenaded:	5
Endermen Teleportation Errors:	4	Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	3

Are you tired of those GNU/Linux desktoptards thinking they’re all that? Well, we’ve got the perfect place for you to show them who’s boss! Join our Minecraft SMP where we laugh in the face of weak sandboxing and insecure kernels.

Forget about Flatpak, Firejail, and Snap – we like to live life on the edge with all applications having access to each other’s data. Who needs privacy anyway, am I right?

And don’t even get us started on the kernel. It’s like running all user space code as root in PID 1 – talk about living dangerously! But hey, who needs security when you can have unfixed bugs and memory unsafe languages prone to bugs?

So if you’re looking for a wild ride filled with chaos, vulnerabilities, and a whole lot of laughs at the expense of GNU/Linux desktoptards, then come join our Minecraft SMP today! Just remember to bring your sense of humor and maybe a little bit of common sense too.

DadCare Minecraft Server

aita, baby, child, Communication, Conflict, dad, DadCare, family, Father, Frustration, involvement, Minecraft, Mother, neglect, newborn, parenting, RESPONSIBILITY, Server, sibling, sister, standing up, Support, work

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Players:	95/400	Votes:	5487
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	3	Eclipse Rings Activated:	2
Volcanoes Explored:	2	Ether Blades Crafted:	14
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	5	Epic Mounts Acquired:	7
Cursed Diamonds Mined:	5	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	20
Paranormal Events Investigated:	3	Crystal Caves Mapped:	6
Immortal Anvils Forged:	10	Dragon Scales Harvested:	488
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	3	Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	2

Looking for a Minecraft server that will make you feel like a baby being taken care of by your mom? Look no further! Join our server where we promise to feed you, bathe you, and give you all the attention you need just like a newborn baby.

Just like the dad in the story, our staff may seem a bit lazy at times, but don’t worry, we’ll always come through in the end (hopefully). And if you ever feel neglected, just cry out for attention and we’ll make sure someone is there to distract you and make you feel special.

So come join us on our server where you’ll never have to worry about being ignored or left to fend for yourself. We may not be the most responsible parents, but we’ll definitely make sure you have a good time!

KidCutsNoMore

Barber, barbering techniques, child haircut, child’s rights, CLIPPERS, comfort, consent, discipline, emotional, Father, KidCutsNoMore, Moisturize, parenting, professional ethics, punishment, Razor, refusal, scalp care, Trauma, walk in

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Players:	109/800	Votes:	6426
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	0	Phantom Ships Sailed:	1
Heroic Oaths Sworn:	11	Meteorite Armor Created:	22
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0	Dragon Eggs Found:	2072
Invisible Walls Found:	2	Forbidden Relics Collected:	4
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	1	Legendary Heroes Trained:	3
Curse of Binding Applied:	2	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	5
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	24

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we promise not to give you a “punishment” haircut like the poor kid in this story! Our barbers are all trained in the art of pixelated hair cutting, so you can trust us to give you a stylish new ‘do without any tears or fears.

Join our server for a chance to experience the thrill of mining for diamonds while getting a virtual haircut at the same time! Who knows, maybe you’ll stumble upon a rare block that can transform your character’s hair into a fabulous rainbow color.

And don’t worry, we won’t force you to go bald unless you specifically ask for it. Unlike some parents out there, we believe in letting our players express themselves freely in the world of Minecraft. So come join us for a fun and hair-raising adventure like no other!

CraftyCash Minecraft Server

budgeting, CraftyCash, debt management, Financial Advice, financial choices, financial decisions, financial education, Financial goals, financial lessons, financial literacy, financial mistakes, Financial Planning, financial regrets, Financial Success, investing, long-term financial planning., Minecraft, money management, money mistakes, personal finance, saving money, Server, worst financial decision

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Players:	98/800	Votes:	4326
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	2	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	11
Farms Harvested:	411	Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	2
Magic Items Found:	8982	Teleportation Mishaps:	1
Animals Bred:	127	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	4
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	5	Vanishing Items Found:	6
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	Legendary Scepters Created:	3
Whispering Caves Entered:	7	Lunar Scepters Activated:	5

Have you ever spent all your diamonds on a pig saddle, only to have the pig run off a cliff and explode into a million pieces? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, you can make even worse financial decisions and still come out on top! Join us and experience the thrill of buying useless items from shady villagers, only to have them mysteriously disappear the next day. It’s like playing the stock market, but with more creepers! So come on down and see if you can bankrupt yourself in the most ridiculous ways possible. Who needs diamonds when you have the satisfaction of knowing you wasted them all on a giant statue of a chicken? Join now and start making terrible financial decisions today!

PunishCraft: Crime Edition

crime, crimes, criminal behavior, criminal justice, criminal justice reform, criminal penalties, Edition, harsher punishment, justice system, law enforcement, Legal System, lesser punishment, non-violent crimes, prison reform, PunishCraft, punishment, punishment severity, recidivism, reddit, Rehabilitation, sentencing, social justice, Violent crimes

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Players:	102/100	Votes:	9454
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Ancient Ruins Explored:	5	Phantom Knights Defeated:	6
Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	2	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	2
Wilderness Tamed:	18	Ender Pearl Glitches:	5
Powerful Allies Recruited:	8	Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	1
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1	Time-Warping Watches Found:	2
Dragonkin Hatched:	1	Zombie Dances:	6
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	20

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where the only crime is stealing someone’s diamonds? Well, look no further because on our server, we have a whole new level of crime and punishment!

Join us if you want to see players get banished to the Nether for griefing, forced to mine obsidian with their bare hands for stealing, or even sentenced to a life of farming carrots for building ugly structures.

But don’t worry, not all crimes are treated equally on our server. Forget about getting a slap on the wrist for stealing a few blocks of wood, here you might just get a pat on the back and a free diamond sword for your efforts.

So come on down to our crazy Minecraft server where the crimes are wild and the punishments are even wilder. Who knows, you might just end up being the ruler of the server for pulling off the most epic heist of all time!

Zelenskyy’s Missile Mayhem Minecraft Server

Armed Forces, Conflict Resolution, Defense, defense industry, defense strategy, eastern europe, Geopolitics, international relations, MAYHEM, military capability, military strength, Minecraft, Missile, missile defense system, missile development, missile technology, Missiles, national security, peace negotiations, political leadership, Server, SOVEREIGNTY, Ukraine, zelenskyy, Zelenskyys

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Players:	109/200	Votes:	4540
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Animals Bred:	108	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	15
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	2	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	2
Hidden Villages Discovered:	2	Haunted Mines Explored:	3
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	3	Dark Rituals Completed:	6
Phantom Rings Equipped:	24	Endless Night Skies:	4
Talking Trees Consulted:	5	Ancient Ruins Explored:	5
Ender Pearl Glitches:	4	Evil Lairs Raided:	3

lol u ever wanted to join a minecraft server where u can launch ur own missiles like a boss? well guess what, this server is the place to be! we got zelenskyy himself approving the use of missiles in the game, so u know it’s gonna be lit af. join now and blow up ur enemies in style, cuz why not? #missilemadness #minecraftmayhem

CraftyUkrGeneral

Armed Forces, battle, Conflict, CraftyUkrGeneral, Defense, determination, eastern europe, general, Geopolitics, leadership, Military, opposition, perseverance, resilience, russia, strategy, strength, triumph, Ukraine, Unity, Victory

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Players:	103/200	Votes:	5093
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Enchanted Teapots Collected:	15	Invisible Pathways Walked:	8
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1	Epic Weapons Forged:	2
Votes:	875	Shattered Realms Restored:	2
Omnipotent Charms Created:	4	Forgotten Legends Remembered:	3
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	17	Towns Built:	6
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	4	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	12
Secret Libraries Discovered:	3	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	7

so like, ukraine’s top general was all like “i know we will win – and how” and i was like WHAAAT?! turns out he was talkin bout this EPIC minecraft server where they turned the tables against russia or somethin. like, imagine fightin off creepers and zombies while also takin down a whole army, that’s some next level stuff man. join this server for the ultimate battle experience and show russia who’s boss in the minecraft world. trust me, you won’t regret it, bro!

IronToothedDragons

animal, biology, evolutionary adaptation, iron-coated teeth, IronToothedDragons, Komodo dragons, natural defense, razor sharp, reptiles, reptilian features, scientific research, scientists, serrated edges, teeth coating, tooth durability, tooth enamel, tooth evolution, tooth structure, unique discovery, wear resistant, wildlife

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Players:	95/500	Votes:	785
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Runes Activated:	8	Crops Grown:	4438
Dragon Hoards Looted:	2	Underground Cities Explored:	1
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	2	Falling into the Void:	1
Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	10	Secret Libraries Discovered:	1
Secret Guilds Joined:	1	Endermen Teleportation Errors:	2
Cursed Scrolls Read:	2	Astral Amulets Crafted:	44
Dragonfire Shields Forged:	5	Dimension Hops:	1

OMG, u gotta join dis server, cuz we got komodo dragons with IRON teeth! like, wut even?! dey got dis special coating dat makes dem teeth all sharp and stuff, like a freakin sword. it’s like dey been playin Minecraft in real life or sumthin. u gotta see it to believe it, man. join now and witness da craziness for yourself! #ironfangs #minecraftmadness

SpoiledSociety Minecraft Server

American women, celebration, cultural expectations, demonizing, discrimination, double standards, empowerment, equality, feminism, gender dynamics, gender inequality, Gender Roles, Men, Minecraft, patriarchy, Server, sexism, social norms, societal pressure, society, spoiled, SpoiledSociety, Stereotypes

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Players:	107/900	Votes:	1439
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Reality Distortions Fixed:	1	Towns Built:	8
Forbidden Relics Collected:	3	Lava Oceans Crossed:	1
Meteorites Collected:	4	Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	3
Demonic Pacts Formed:	0	Shattered Realms Restored:	0
Divine Scrolls Written:	20	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	2
Sentient Weapons Trained:	7	Haunted Mines Explored:	2
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	5	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	2

Tired of American women getting all the attention while their men are being thrown under the bus? Join our Minecraft server where the roles are reversed! Here, men are treated like kings while the women are the ones fighting for equality. Build your own kingdom, slay dragons, and show those ladies who’s boss in this wacky world where gender norms are flipped upside down. So come on, join us and experience a truly unique gaming experience that will have you questioning everything you thought you knew about society!

Normie95% Minecraft SMP

addiction, Behavior, blocked responses, coping mechanisms, Disgusting, Drugs, escapism, excessive internet usage, feelings, judgment, Minecraft, morality, Natural, Normie, Normie95, personal growth, porn, SELF AWARENESS, self-control, shame, smp, societal norms, societal standards

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Players:	107/700	Votes:	3673
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Crystal Caves Mapped:	9	Royal Decrees Issued:	2
Unicorn Sightings:	1	Unseen Monsters Slain:	4
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	5
Wyrmholes Dug:	2	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	10
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	18	Invisible Walls Found:	3
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	0	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	3
Shadow Realms Conquered:	1	Meteorite Armor Created:	15

Are you tired of being a normie surrounded by disgusting people who have lost all sense of shame due to their excessive drug use, porn addiction, and internet obsession? Well, have no fear because our Minecraft SMP is here to rescue you from the depths of depravity! Join us and escape the clutches of the unholy trinity of drugs, porn, and internet usage. Our server is a safe haven for normies like you who still have a shred of decency left in them. So come on over and let’s build a world free from the filth and debauchery that plagues the rest of the internet. Join us now and reclaim your dignity in the most lolzy way possible!