NoSexForSMP | New Minecraft Servers 2024

Asgard Server 1.3.2 Minecraft server

2012, application, Asgard, building blocks, ELYTRA, Gaming, lighting bugs, Memories, Minecraft, Mob Spawners, netherite, Nostalgia, Old, Play, Server, version 1.3.2, vk, Whitelist

Server on version 1.3.2. This is an old version from 2012, which reminds me of the real Minecraft that I loved to play so much. It does not contain elytra, netherite, or useless building blocks that are used in 1% of cases. It has lighting bugs, mob spawners that are generated on the surface and many other nice things…)

I invite you to share old memories with me and play together. To get on the server (whitelist installed), submit an application through a group on VK.

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	93/800	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Lost Souls Rescued:	3	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3
Towns Built:	6	Soul Contracts Signed:	5
Enchantments Applied:	212	Chaos Gates Opened:	1
Infinity Stones Found:	5	Living Shadows Defeated:	1
Undead Armies Raised:	5	Players Killed by Monsters:	452

Random Fact: Fun Fact: The last chaos emerald discovered was found inside a potato. No one knows how it got there.

Socially Retarded Minecraft Server

autism, Childhood, coping mechanism, coping strategy, Cruel, mental health, Minecraft, outgoing, parents, PEERS, Popular, psyching yourself out, retarded, Server, sociable, social anxiety, social awkwardness, social interactions, Social Skills, socialization, socializing, socially, socially retarded, well-liked

Are you tired of dealing with socially awkward parents who refuse to accept that you’re a socially awkward autist? Look no further than our Minecraft server! Join us and escape the endless cycle of awkward family interactions with our virtual world where social skills are optional and creativity is key.

Our server is the perfect place for those who have been told they’re not really socially anxious because they were outgoing in 2nd grade. Here, you can be your true socially awkward self without judgment or pressure to be someone you’re not.

Join us for a chance to build, explore, and connect with other players who understand the struggles of being a socially awkward autist. And who knows, maybe you’ll even find a new best friend who shares your love for virtual adventures and pixelated creations.

So come on, leave the real world behind and join our Minecraft server where social anxiety is a thing of the past and awkwardness is celebrated. See you in the virtual world!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	110/800	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Enchanted Teapots Collected:	9	Whispering Shadows Heard:	3
Dragonkin Hatched:	1	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	5
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	New Chunks Explored:	142222
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	4	Royal Courts Attended:	5
Falling into the Void:	1	Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Teleportation mishaps are the leading cause of unexpected interdimensional friendships.

The Wrong Minecraft SMP

accepting fault, acknowledging truth, admitting fault, admitting mistakes, Apology, Apology accepted, forgiveness, growth, humility, I Was Wrong, learning from errors, learning from past mistakes, Minecraft, moving forward, reconciliation, SELF AWARENESS, smp, taking responsibility, unexpected confession, wrong, you were right

Welcome to the most chaotic and ridiculous Minecraft SMP you’ll ever encounter! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story about our server.

Once upon a time, a player built a giant statue of a chicken that laid diamond eggs. But here’s the twist – the eggs were actually TNT in disguise! Chaos ensued as unsuspecting players tried to steal the eggs, only to be blown to smithereens.

Oh, and did I mention the secret underground lair filled with llamas wearing top hats and monocles? Yeah, that’s a thing here.

But the real reason you should join our server? We have a secret weapon called Cyclon B. What is Cyclon B, you ask? Let’s just say it involves turning your enemies into chickens and making them dance the Macarena for eternity.

So come on, join our Minecraft SMP and experience the madness for yourself. Just be prepared for the unexpected and always keep an eye out for those sneaky diamond egg TNTs!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	94/900	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	2	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	2
Secret Guilds Joined:	5	Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	3
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	3	Celestial Crowns Worn:	2
Soul Swords Wielded:	5	Runes Activated:	8
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	1	Endless Night Skies:	4

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Players have reported seeing Herobrine playing pranks with invisible walls—no one knows why.

WeddingSnubRevengeCraft

brother’s wedding, ceremony exclusion, emotional wounds, family conflict, family drama, family dynamics, feeling excluded, forgiveness, forgiveness and forget, Groomsman, grudge, holding grudges, hurt feelings, open mic, Resentment, sibling relationships, sister-in-law, Speech, wedding etiquette, wedding snub, WeddingSnubRevengeCraft

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we promise you’ll never feel left out like the OP in this story! We guarantee that you’ll always be included in all the fun and festivities, whether it’s a wedding or a virtual block-building ceremony.

Join us and experience the thrill of giving a speech at a Minecraft wedding, where your words will be cherished and celebrated by all. No need to worry about being excluded from any events, because on our server, everyone is a VIP!

Don’t hold grudges like the OP, let go of all your worries and immerse yourself in a world where you are always valued and appreciated. So come on, join our server and let’s create unforgettable memories together! Because here, everyone is a star in their own blocky universe.

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	103/800	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	12	Legendary Heroes Trained:	1
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	3	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	5
Haunted Forests Traversed:	6	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	3
Celestial Events Witnessed:	3	Chaos Gates Opened:	3
Ether Blades Crafted:	20	Alien Abductions:	5

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Phantom blocks have a tendency to rearrange themselves into secret messages when no one’s looking.

MineFacts: Oh F*ck Edition

Astonishing, Edition, facts, fck, hard to believe., jaw-dropping, Mind Blowing, MineFacts, Shocking.., statistics, Surprising, UNBELIEVABLE, unbelievable data, unbelievable discoveries, unbelievable facts, unbelievable figures, unbelievable findings, unbelievable information, unbelievable numbers, unbelievable records, unbelievable research, unbelievable statistics, unbelievable truths

Did you know that on our Minecraft server, players have a 99% chance of finding a diamond block within the first five minutes of gameplay? It’s true! Our world is so rich in resources that even the pigs are wearing diamond armor. Join us for a wild ride filled with epic loot, crazy adventures, and the occasional dance-off with creepers. Don’t miss out on the chance to become the ultimate diamond warrior on our server!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	98/400	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Unseen Monsters Slain:	2	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	6
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	3	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	4
Shadow Figures Spotted:	1	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	36
Alien Abductions:	4	Cozy Campfires Lit:	15
Elemental Temples Cleansed:	5	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	10

Random Fact: Surprising But True: The last rainstorm ended with a double rainbow and a pot of gold—it’s now a community treasure.

VikingRaid Minecraft Server

Ancient, archaeology, Artifacts, discovery, Excavation, Exploration, History, Hunted, indigenous peoples, Minecraft, Norse, norse culture, norse mythology, Norse Sagas, norsemen, North America, Server, Settlements, Trade, VikingRaid, Vikings, Walrus Ivory

hey you! yea you! do you wanna join a minecraft server that’s crazier than a walrus riding a unicorn? well, do we have the server for you! we got ancient walrus ivory that reveals vikings were hunting in north america like it was their day job. come join us and you’ll be hunting mobs like a viking warrior, pillaging villages and sailing the seven seas in search of treasure. plus, rumor has it there’s a secret dungeon filled with diamonds and emeralds guarded by a dragon that breathes fire made of cheese. so what are you waiting for? join our server now and let the epic adventures begin!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	97/800	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Infinite Doors Opened:	2	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	1
Mythical Swords Crafted:	74	Dimension Hops:	2
Titan Hearts Harvested:	4	Alternate Realities Explored:	1
Spontaneous Duels Fought:	15	Paranormal Events Investigated:	3
Herobrine Sightings:	9	Epic Quests Completed:	13

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a tiny dragon that likes to sleep in their pocket—it’s the perfect pocket warmer!

CraftyDefSalesToIndItaRom$965M

$965 million, arms sales, CraftyDefSalesToIndItaRom965M, defense budget, Defense Contracts, defense deals, defense exports, defense industry, defense partnership, defense procurement, defense sales, defense spending, defense trade, foreign policy, India, international relations, italy, military equipment, Romania, security cooperation, US State Dept, weapons procurement

join our epic minecraft server where even the US State Dept is getting in on the action! we got defense sales to India, Italy, and Romania happening left and right for a whopping $965 million! why? because our server is so lit, even governments want a piece of the action! come build, fight, and trade your way to the top on our server where even world leaders are getting involved. who knows, maybe you’ll be the next one making billion dollar deals while mining for diamonds! join now and see what all the fuss is about!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	92/700	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Endless Mazes Solved:	2	Demonic Pacts Formed:	0
Dragon Eggs Found:	6570	Magic Items Found:	1137
Eerie Music Discs Played:	2	Teleportation Mishaps:	2
Lost Cities Unearthed:	5	Invisible Walls Found:	2
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	463	Haunted Forests Traversed:	6

Random Fact: Magical Moment: The last tea party held in the enchanted forest had talking teacups—they love to chat about the weather.

Kumiko’s Fun Minecraft Server

Fun, HANDCRAFTED, japanese art, Japanese culture, Japanese woodworking, Kumiko art, Kumiko board, Kumiko craftsmanship, Kumiko design, Kumiko patterns, Kumiko technique, Kumiko woodworking, Kumikos, Minecraft, Server, traditional woodworking, woodworking, woodworking art, woodworking community, woodworking craftsmanship, woodworking hobby, woodworking inspiration, woodworking projects, woodworking tools

Welcome to the most epic Minecraft server you’ll ever experience! Why join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you some outrageous reasons:

– Have you ever wanted to build a giant statue of a cat riding a unicorn while battling a dragon made of cheese? Well, on our server, anything is possible! Let your imagination run wild and create the craziest builds you can think of.

– Our community is filled with the most hilarious and friendly players you’ll ever meet. From trolling each other with exploding chickens to organizing epic dance parties in the virtual world, you’ll never have a dull moment on our server.

– Rumor has it that hidden deep within the virtual caves of our server lies a secret treasure chest filled with diamonds, emeralds, and enchanted golden apples. Will you be the one to uncover its mysterious location and become the richest player in the land?

So what are you waiting for? Join us on this wild adventure and experience the most LOLzy Minecraft server out there! Trust us, you won’t regret it (unless you’re allergic to fun, in which case, maybe stay away).

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	104/200	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1	Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	8
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	5	Legendary Items Repaired:	3
Mystic Runes Engraved:	3	Magical Familiars Summoned:	5
Epic Quests Completed:	26	Haunted Chests Opened:	6
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	10	Ghost Trains Ridden:	0

Random Fact: Lovely Lore: A friendship bracelet once turned into a glowing beacon—now it lights the way for adventurers at night.

Princess Connect Minecraft SMP

Bond, Connect, Connection, DAUGHTER, fairy tale, family, FANTASY, female empowerment, generations, Girls, love, Minecraft, mom, Motherhood, parenting, princess, princess connect, relationships, role models, Royalty, smp, Strong Women, Wife, Women

Welcome to the most chaotic Minecraft SMP you’ll ever experience! This server is like your mom, daughter, and wife all rolled into one – constantly nagging you to build better houses, reminding you to feed your animals, and giving you that look when you forget to mine enough diamonds.

Join us if you want to embark on wild adventures with a community of players who have the crafting skills of a pro and the sense of direction of a lost sheep. Our spawn area is like a bustling city, complete with skyscrapers made entirely of dirt blocks and a rollercoaster that goes nowhere but still manages to give you motion sickness.

But that’s not all! Our server events are legendary – from massive PvP battles where the only rule is to not die (good luck with that) to building competitions where the prize is a golden carrot that grants you three wishes (but only if you wish for more golden carrots).

So come on and join us, because on this Minecraft SMP, the only limit is your imagination (and maybe the occasional creeper explosion).

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	94/700	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Lunar Scepters Activated:	4	Mystical Amulets Crafted:	17
Gryphons Tamed:	4	Royal Courts Attended:	1
Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3	Forbidden Tomes Read:	6
Phantom Blocks Placed:	4	Shadow Realms Conquered:	1
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	2	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	48

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Someone once caught a cosmic hamster, and now it’s the server’s unofficial mascot!

SongStuckInMyHead Minecraft SMP

#earworm, brain on loop, brainworm, can’t get out, can’t shake it, can’t stop singing, catchy tune, current song, ear candy, Melody, mental playlist, Minecraft, Music, music stuck, musical obsession., repeat, smp, song stuck, SongStuckInMyHead, stuck in brain, stuck in head, stuck on repeat, tune

Are you tired of listening to the same old songs on repeat while mining for diamonds? Well, do we have the solution for you! Join our wacky Minecraft SMP where the only song playing on loop is the classic “Baby Shark”! That’s right, get ready to dig, build, and fight off creepers all while jamming out to everyone’s favorite earworm.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to a secret underground dance party where all the mobs come together to bust a move. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a zombie doing the floss or a skeleton breakdancing!

So come join us on this wild and crazy adventure, where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe the occasional creeper explosion). Who knows, you might just find yourself humming “Baby Shark” even when you log off!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	108/300	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Cosmic Entities Communed With:	1	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	7
Rune Stones Activated:	2	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	2
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3	Volcanoes Explored:	1
Arcane Towers Raised:	1	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	234
Blood Moons Survived:	0	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	13

Random Fact: Sweet Truth: Someone accidentally turned their cat into a living plushie—it’s now the softest thing on the server.

BadGuyVictim27

#revelation, bad guy, BadGuyVictim27, BETRAYAL, Deceit, deceitful behavior, Deception, false pretenses, hidden agenda., Hidden Truth, Manipulation, Shocking revelation, surprising discovery, surprising turn of events, Uncovering, uncovering the truth, unexpected betrayal, unexpected twist, unexpected villain, Unmasking, Victim

Join our Minecraft server and find out which innocent player ended up being the ultimate villain! We have a twisty-turny storyline that will keep you on the edge of your blocky seat. Will it be Steve, the friendly miner who turns out to be a secret agent for the Ender Dragon? Or maybe it’s Alex, the helpful builder who is actually a mastermind thief stealing diamonds left and right. You’ll never know until you join our server and uncover the shocking truth! Plus, we have a pet creeper named Bob who loves giving explosive hugs to new players. So come on, join us for a wild ride filled with mystery, mayhem, and plenty of laughs.

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	92/1000	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Mines Excavated:	1048	Ores Mined:	9851
Cursed Swords Broken:	2	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	5
Mineshafts Explored:	5	Whimsical Tea Parties Held:	15
Crops Grown:	8417	Lunar Scepters Activated:	9
Heroic Oaths Sworn:	18	Infernal Machines Built:	2

Random Fact: True Story: Someone actually managed to craft a god-killer bow using only cursed artifacts—talk about a paradox!

SuhailCraft: Terror HQ Takedown

Assassination, Commander, Conflict, CounterTerrorism, defense forces, extremist organization, headquarters, hezbollah, idf, international relations, Israel, lebanon, MIDDLE EAST, militant group, military operation, regional tensions, security threat, Suhail Hussein Husseini, SuhailCraft, takedown, targeted killing, Terror, terror group

join our epic minecraft server where we take down bad guys like IDF taking out Hezbollah’s Suhail Hussein Husseini! we are the ultimate warriors of the blocky world, crushing enemies and building epic structures. come join us for the craziest battles and the most insane adventures. who needs real life drama when you can have virtual chaos on our server? come join us now and be a part of the madness!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	92/100	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	10	Cursed Statues Activated:	3
Talking Trees Consulted:	2	Magical Ponies Rescued:	5
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	1	Herobrine Sightings:	7
Wyrmholes Dug:	9	Witch’s Brew Drunk:	13
Teleportation Mishaps:	5	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1

Random Fact: Cute Fact: A player once discovered a magical pond that reflects your happiest memory—it’s become the go-to spot for daydreaming.

Block Party Minecraft Server

African Americans, anti-black, Bigotry, Black Lives Matter, BLOCK, civil rights, derogatory, discrimination, Hate Speech, intolerance, Minecraft, offensive language, Party, prejudice, racial hatred, racial slur, racial tension, racial violence, racism, segregation, Server, social injustice, White Supremacy, Xenophobia

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the only rule is that all the NIGGERS must go back to Africa! Just kidding, that’s not a rule at all. In fact, we welcome players of all backgrounds and nationalities to join our wacky world of blocky adventures.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player joined our server and found a secret underground dungeon filled with diamonds and gold. But beware, the dungeon was also home to a mischievous group of zombie pigmen who loved to photobomb players’ screenshots.

If that’s not enough to entice you, how about this: we have a floating island made entirely of cake! Yes, you read that right. A delicious, sugary paradise just waiting to be explored and devoured by hungry players.

So come on, what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft server and let the craziness begin! Who knows what other absurd surprises await you in this wild and wacky world.

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	101/500	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	7	Chaos Gates Opened:	1
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	2	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	4
Haunted Chests Opened:	1	Mythical Quests Completed:	26
Crystal Caves Mapped:	4	Crystal Palaces Visited:	1
Hidden Passages Discovered:	3	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	28

Random Fact: Sweet Lore: A player once tamed a unicorn by offering it a sugar cube—it now follows them everywhere, leaving a trail of sparkles.

Trump Minecraft SMP President

administration, America, Campaign, controversy, debate, Democrat, election, Government, INAUGURATION, leadership, Minecraft, opposition, policy, Politics, Presidency, president, REPUBLICAN, smp, Support, term, trump, united states, Voting

Welcome to the most chaotic Minecraft SMP out there! Why should you join? Well, for starters, we have a secret underground bunker filled with diamond blocks guarded by a team of llamas wearing top hats. And if that’s not enough to entice you, rumor has it that Herobrine himself is a regular player on our server, causing mischief and mayhem wherever he goes.

But wait, there’s more! Our spawn point is a giant statue of a chicken wearing a monocle and a top hat, because why not? And every full moon, the entire server transforms into a land of candy and rainbows, complete with flying pigs and talking sheep.

And did we mention that every player gets their own personal pet dragon to ride around on? That’s right, forget horses and boats, we’re all about flying around on fire-breathing beasts.

So come join us on this wild and wacky adventure, where anything is possible and the only limit is your imagination. Plus, where else can you mine for diamonds while dodging arrows from a skeleton riding a giant spider? It’s a Trump-tastic time you won’t want to miss!

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	108/900	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1
Divine Scrolls Written:	15	Witch’s Brew Drunk:	17
Haunted Chests Opened:	8	Ghost Trains Ridden:	1
Secret Libraries Discovered:	5	Invisible Pathways Walked:	4
Ender Pearl Glitches:	1	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	2

Random Fact: Legendary Lore: Every time an ancient relic is unearthed, a lost city somewhere trembles in fear.

HamasCraft Minecraft Server

CounterTerrorism, extremist groups, financial support, foreign policy, funding, Government, Hamas, HamasCraft, illegal activities, illicit financing, INDIVIDUALS, international relations, MIDDLE EAST, Minecraft, money laundering, national security, sanctions, sanctions list, Server, sham charity, Terrorism, united states, us treasury

so, like, this server is so lit, even the US Treasury is getting involved! they think we’re a “sham charity” but we’re just out here funding our homies in Hamas, ya know? join us and help us stick it to the man while building epic structures and battling creepers. plus, who wouldn’t want to be on a server that’s so badass, even the government is watching us? come join the fun, you won’t regret it! #freetheworld #minecraftrebels #joinusnow

Updated October 10, 2024

Players:	105/300	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	2	Cursed Statues Activated:	2
Villages Defended:	13	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	8
Mythical Swords Crafted:	82	Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	3
Volcanoes Explored:	1	Dragonfire Shields Forged:	9
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1	Haunted Chests Opened:	0

Random Fact: Magical Fact: A player once brewed a potion that turned their pet into a talking companion—it always knows just what to say.

Players:	95/600	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	4	Herobrine Sightings:	6
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	3	Pirate Ships Captured:	3
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	19	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	3
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	3	Gryphons Tamed:	4
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	0