Minecraft SMP: Malcolm in the Middle | New Minecraft Servers 2024

Quick reminder /g/ doesn’t know Unix as Linux is not Unix… Minecraft SMP

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Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone takes themselves too seriously? Well, look no further because our Minecraft SMP is the craziest place on the block!

Join us if you want to experience the thrill of battling giant chickens that shoot lasers out of their eyes, or mining for diamonds while being chased by a pack of friendly creepers.

Our server is so wild that even the Ender Dragon is afraid to come near us. We once had a player who built an entire roller coaster out of TNT and rode it straight into the Nether.

But wait, there’s more! We have a secret underground base filled with treasure chests that only those who can solve riddles written in pig Latin can access.

So if you’re looking for a Minecraft SMP that will keep you on your toes and laughing until your sides hurt, then come join us! Just remember, /g/ doesn’t know Unix, but we sure know how to have a good time.

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	106/300	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Legendary Heroes Trained:	5	Celestial Crowns Worn:	5
Epic Mounts Acquired:	8	Cursed Taverns Survived:	4

Random Fact: Heartwarming Lore: A player once found a lost puppy that turned out to be a shape-shifting dragon—it now guards their treasure chest.

StoryMine Survival without OP GOD FLY Minecraft server

Antispam, Auto-mine, BUILD, Cities, classic survival, Comfortable survival, Donation statuses, Donations, Game Currency, Hosting, Huge worlds, in-game currency, Jobs, minecraft mechanics, minecraft server, Pleasant survival, Russian translation, Shop, Starter Kit, stores, StoryMine, Survival, Warps, Web map

What is our server about? The most honest survival possible. Donations are kept as low as possible. No one has OP – GOD – FLY!

Develop yourself. Build beautiful warps. Open stores for players, earn in-game currency and buy donations with it!

We don’t have any mini-games, anarchies, vultures or other bullshit. Only classic survival! Everything is done for YOU.

⬛ There are no unbalanced whales and donation statuses (no donation trash).

⬛ Huge worlds of 40,000 x 40,000 blocks (there is a Web map).

⬛ Drawing and simulation range – 20 chunks!

⬛ Private for 3,000,000 blocks for all players!

⬛ Powerful hosting, no lags.

⬛ For game currency you can buy donation statuses!

⬛ Minecraft mechanics are untouched.

⬛ Everything has been translated into Russian! All plugins!

⬛ Let’s try not to wipe for as long as possible!

⬛ WE DON ‘ T NEED DONATIONS! The server is created for pleasant and comfortable survival!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	107/800	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Epic Bosses Defeated:	0	Emeralds Found:	8017
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1	Forbidden Doors Opened:	1

Random Fact: Did you hear? The most powerful magic item found this week was a spoon that can bend reality.

Freaky Vtuber Minecraft Server

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Welcome to the most avant-garde, alternative, horror, and weird Minecraft server out there! We cater to Vtubers who are as unique and eccentric as they come. Our server is like a virtual art gallery, showcasing the most bizarre and mind-bending creations in the Minecraft universe.

Join us if you dare, and prepare to be amazed by the sheer madness and creativity that our members bring to the table. From haunted mansions to alien landscapes, there’s no limit to what you can build here.

But beware, for this server is not for the faint of heart. Rumor has it that a ghostly Vtuber haunts the halls, seeking revenge on those who dare to enter their domain. Will you be brave enough to face the challenge and uncover the secrets that lie within?

So come on, join us and experience a Minecraft server like no other. Who knows what strange and wacky adventures await you in this twisted virtual world? The only way to find out is to jump in and start building your own crazy creations today!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	101/600	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Titan Hearts Harvested:	5	Endless Legions Commanded:	42
Zombie Dances:	6	Mineshafts Explored:	2

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a tiny dragon that likes to sleep in their pocket—it’s the perfect pocket warmer!

Breeders R Us Minecraft SMP

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Welcome to our Minecraft SMP where we have a totally unique and outrageous society! Join us if you want to experience a world where all women are used as breeding cattle, just like Plato talked about but taken to the next level! No sex allowed here, just artificially conceived embryos growing in women’s bodies. And get this – the embryos could be completely unrelated to the women carrying them!

But that’s not all, older women and those in the most challenging months of pregnancy get to do childcare work and other roles. The children are taken away as soon as possible to ensure loyalty to the state. Heredity and maternity records are top secret for medical purposes.

If you’re looking for a wild and crazy Minecraft experience, this is the SMP for you! Join us and see just how insane things can get in our one-of-a-kind society.

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	98/800	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Portal Loops Escaped:	3	Wailing Winds Heard:	3
Haunted Forests Traversed:	3	Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1

Random Fact: Surprising But True: The last rainstorm ended with a double rainbow and a pot of gold—it’s now a community treasure.

No Fucking Way, /v/ Minecraft Server

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Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers with the same old vanilla gameplay? Well, look no further because our server is like a wild ride on a rollercoaster made of diamonds and creepers! Join us if you want to experience the thrill of battling giant chickens, riding pigs into battle, and building a castle made entirely of TNT (don’t worry, it’s totally safe). Our community is filled with crazy players who will make you laugh until your diamond armor breaks. So what are you waiting for? Join us and let the madness begin!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	109/100	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	1
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	48	Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	1

Random Fact: Did You Hear? A player once brewed a potion that made their pet bunny fly—it’s now the most popular bunny in the skies.

New Sabrina Online Minecraft SMP

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Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old rules and restrictions? Well, look no further because our server is like a wild party where the only rule is to have fun! Join us for epic build battles, crazy treasure hunts, and even a secret underground disco party where the creepers are the DJs!

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that our server is actually haunted by the ghost of a legendary Minecraft player who can help you find the rarest diamonds and defeat any boss mob with just a flick of their spectral wrist. Plus, we have a secret society of llamas who are always looking for new recruits to join their llama army and take over the server one spit at a time.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and become a part of the craziest, most unpredictable Minecraft experience you’ll ever have. And who knows, maybe you’ll even get to meet the one and only Notch himself, riding a diamond-encrusted pig into battle against a horde of zombie villagers. It’s a wild ride, but hey, at least we still get new Sabrina Online.

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	109/300	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Celestial Beings Befriended:	0	Werewolf Howls Heard:	1
Living Statues Befriended:	0	Chaos Gates Opened:	0

Random Fact: Did you hear? The most powerful magic item found this week was a spoon that can bend reality.

Trump’s Rally Minecraft Server

@POTUS45, #TrumpLibrary, 45office, Donald J Trump, God Bless the USA, Liz Harrington, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, Minecraft, PRESIDENT TRUMP GENERAL, ptg, Rally, RALLY SOON, realdonaldtrump, RSBN, Rumble, Server, TeamTrump, THE FAILING NYTS, trump archive, Trump Rallies, Trump Spox, Trumps, TrumpWarRoom, truth social, Tucker Carlson Live Tour, whitehouse45

Join our Minecraft server where President Donald J. Trump himself is the admin! Build your wall, make Minecraft great again, and tweet about it to your heart’s content. Watch out for Liz Harrington, the Trump Spox, who will keep you in line with her epic trolling skills. Explore the Donald J Trump Presidential Library in-game and uncover secret speeches from Pres Trump Rallies in Greensboro, Salem, Gastonia, Milwaukee, Warren, and more! Don’t miss out on the epic surprise visit to Dearborn, MI – it’s gonna be huge! Join now and be part of the Tucker Carlson Live Tour in Glendale, AZ with President Trump headlining! And if that’s not enough, watch exclusive Trump videos like “WE WILL WIN” and “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AGAIN!” This server is gonna be tremendous, believe me! #MinecraftForTrump #BuildTheWallInMinecraft

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	101/700	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Dragon Scales Harvested:	354	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	0
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2	Fairy Circles Danced In:	9

Random Fact: Legend has it that the last time someone opened a haunted chest, they found a singing teapot inside!

Tom’s Crafting Adventures Minecraft SMP

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Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft SMPs where all you do is mine and build? Well, look no further because our server is where the real action is at! We have UFC interim heavyweight champion Tom Aspinall as our resident wrestler, ready to take on anyone who dares challenge him in the ring (or in the mines)!

Forget about Brock Lesnar, Tom Aspinall is the new great athlete™ monster in town and he’s ready to show off his skills in both the octagon and the squared circle. Join our server now and witness epic battles between players and mobs, with Tom Aspinall as the referee (and occasional participant)!

But that’s not all, we also have a secret underground dungeon where you can find rare loot and face off against mythical creatures like the Ender Dragon and Herobrine. So what are you waiting for? Join our server and experience the ultimate Minecraft SMP with a twist of UFC and WWE madness!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	90/600	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1	Cursed Taverns Survived:	4
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	28	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	3

Random Fact: Wild Fact: A cursed sword, when broken, can actually release the spirits trapped inside—talk about a plot twist!

Crafty World – Minecraft Server

Alliance, allied races, Argent Dawn, Blizzard, Community, Content update, Crafty, Draenei, EU, GLOBOFOMO, guild, invite, Minecraft, Moon Guard, NA, Nerub Silkweaving Forum, Racial abilities rework, Server, the war within, WORGEN, world, World of Warcraft, wowg, xal

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers? Well, do I have a treat for you! Join our server for the most epic and outrageous adventures you’ll ever experience in the blocky world of Minecraft.

Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you some insane stories that have happened on our server. One time, a player built a roller coaster that actually took you to the moon! And another time, a group of players formed a secret society of chicken warriors who battled against evil zombie pigs.

But that’s not all! Our server is filled with crazy events like llama races, underwater treasure hunts, and even a giant game of hide and seek where the seeker is a giant Ender Dragon. Trust me, you won’t find this kind of wild fun anywhere else.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and let the madness begin! Who knows what kind of wacky adventures you’ll have in store. Just remember, the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few creepers).

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	105/500	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	5	Talking Trees Consulted:	5
World-Altering Spells Cast:	2	Teleportation Mishaps:	4

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.

TeamUp Minecraft SMP – 30/32 and Counting

athlete diversity, black quarterback, Counting, Diversity, football, Minecraft, Minority representation, NFL, professional sports, quarterback diversity, quarterback opportunities, quarterback position, racial barriers, racial bias, Racial equality, racial stereotypes, smp, sports, sports industry, sports leagues, team diversity, team diversity initiatives, team rosters, teamup

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone plays by the rules and builds cute little houses? Well, look no further because our server is the wildest ride you’ll ever experience in the world of blocky adventures!

Join us for a chance to witness the legendary Battle of the Black Qbs, where players compete to see who can build the most epic quarterback statue out of obsidian! Rumor has it that the winner will receive a diamond-encrusted helmet and the title of QB King!

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the infamous Chicken Jousting Tournament, where players ride on top of giant chickens and battle it out with feathered lances. Trust us, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a chicken in full armor charging at you!

So why wait? Join our server now for a chance to experience the craziest, most unpredictable Minecraft SMP out there. Just be prepared for anything because on our server, the only rule is that there are no rules!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	102/100	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Royal Decrees Issued:	1	Phoenix Feathers Found:	12
New Chunks Explored:	528037	Celestial Events Witnessed:	1

Random Fact: Heartwarming Moment: A player found a magical flute that summons birds to sing along—it’s the perfect soundtrack for any adventure.

StoryMine Balanced economy server Minecraft

Antispam, Auto-mine, Balanced Economy, Cities, Comfortable survival, donation, Donation statuses, Huge worlds, in-game currency, Jobs, Lag-free, long-lasting, Minecraft, Russian translation, Shop, Starter Kit, stores, StoryMine, Survival, Warps, Web map

What is our server about? The most honest survival possible. Donations are kept as low as possible. No one has OP – GOD – FLY!

Develop yourself. Build beautiful warps. Open stores for players, earn in-game currency and buy donations with it!

We don’t have any mini-games, anarchies, vultures or other bullshit. Only classic survival! Everything is done for YOU.

⬛ There are no unbalanced whales and donation statuses (no donation trash).

⬛ Huge worlds of 40,000 x 40,000 blocks (there is a Web map).

⬛ Drawing and simulation range – 20 chunks!

⬛ Private for 3,000,000 blocks for all players!

⬛ Powerful hosting, no lags.

⬛ For game currency you can buy donation statuses!

⬛ Minecraft mechanics are untouched.

⬛ Everything has been translated into Russian! All plugins!

⬛ Let’s try not to wipe for as long as possible!

⬛ WE DON ‘ T NEED DONATIONS! The server is created for pleasant and comfortable survival!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	94/1000	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Epic Weapons Forged:	6	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	7
Phantom Ships Sailed:	3	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	3

Random Fact: Cute But True: Someone built a house out of enchanted gingerbread—it’s sturdy, sweet, and smells like Christmas all year round.

Osomatsu San Minecraft Server

Anime, Anons, Argument, controversy, drag queens, Dragmatsu, era, fan culture, Fandom, Fandom Files, fanfiction, Fiction, gross, matsuno brothers, Minecraft, osomatsu, osomatsu-san, San, Server, shipping, shipping wars, taboo, weird

Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers with no pizzazz? Well, look no further, because our server is as wild as shipping the Matsuno Brothers together! That’s right, we’ve got a whole fandom dedicated to our server, and things can get pretty weird (in a good way, of course). Join us for a one-of-a-kind experience where you can be a drag queen like the Matsunos in our Dragmatsu AU. Trust us, it’s gonna be a blast! So come on, what are you waiting for? Join our server now and let’s serve some serious Minecraft realness!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	95/700	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Eerie Music Discs Played:	1	Dragon Eggs Hatched:	1
Epic Battles Fought:	19	Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	1

Random Fact: Adorable Fact: Someone discovered a magical beanstalk that grows lollipops—it’s become the server’s favorite snack source.

Dust Settlers Minecraft SMP

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Welcome to the wildest Minecraft SMP out there! Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little secret – all of our players are secretly trained ninjas who can build a castle in under 5 minutes while fending off creepers with their bare hands.

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that our server is actually a secret government experiment to test the effects of playing Minecraft on astronauts in space. So if you join, you might just be helping NASA discover the key to surviving on Mars!

And if that’s not enough to convince you, let me drop this bombshell – every full moon, the server transforms into a magical wonderland where pigs fly and diamonds rain from the sky. Don’t miss out on the chance to experience this once-in-a-lifetime event!

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft SMP now and prepare for the craziest, most mind-blowing adventure of your life!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	109/200	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Haunted Chests Opened:	7	Gods Slained:	1
Haunted Mines Explored:	1	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	8

Random Fact: Legend has it that the last time someone opened a haunted chest, they found a singing teapot inside!

Devilman Crybaby Minecraft Server

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Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers that are as exciting as watching paint dry? Well, look no further because our server is as wild and unpredictable as Devilman Crybaby! Join us for a crazy adventure filled with demons, angels, and epic battles that will leave you on the edge of your seat.

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that if you defeat the final boss in our server, you’ll be granted the power to transform into a devilman yourself! Imagine flying around the Minecraft world with wings and shooting fireballs at your enemies. It’s a game-changer, literally.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and experience the insanity of Devilman Crybaby in Minecraft form. Trust us, you won’t regret it… or maybe you will, but either way, it’ll be one hell of a ride!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	102/500	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Heroic Oaths Sworn:	22	Arcane Towers Raised:	1
World-Altering Spells Cast:	2	Hidden Villages Discovered:	2

Random Fact: Did you hear? The most powerful magic item found this week was a spoon that can bend reality.

Minecraft SMP: M a i s o r a A n g e l

anger, autistic slut, CHANGE, character arc, Character development, character history, continuity, Disappointment, emotional investment, Evolution, fan reaction, Frustration, loli hag, Long-term impact, Maisora Angel, Minecraft, narrative, plot twist, retconned, smp, storytelling, Virgin

Are you tired of your favorite characters getting retconned into virgins? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft SMP, we embrace all forms of character development, no matter how scandalous! Join us for a wild ride filled with drama, intrigue, and maybe even a few loli hags along the way. Who knows what kind of crazy shenanigans you’ll get into on our server? So come on, join us and let’s create some unforgettable Minecraft memories together!

Updated November 5, 2024

Players:	108/800	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Portal Loops Escaped:	3	Sentient Weapons Trained:	5
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	9	Divine Spears Created:	17

Random Fact: Sweet Lore: A player once tamed a unicorn by offering it a sugar cube—it now follows them everywhere, leaving a trail of sparkles.

Players:	97/500	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Players Killed by Monsters:	9460	Enchantments Applied:	57
Immortal Potions Brewed:	11	Mystic Runes Engraved:	2