> join our Minecraft SMP and escape the cruel realities of life where even god is trolling you by giving you a 4 inch dick. On our server, size doesn’t matter because we measure success in blocks mined and mobs slain! Plus, with your handsome face and full head of hair, you’ll fit right in with our community of pixelated adventurers. So come on, don’t let a small setback hold you back from joining the most epic Minecraft journey of your life!

Updated October 15, 2024

Players: 96/900 Uptime: 100%
Rating: 4.9 / 5
Cursed Scrolls Read: 3 Dragonkin Hatched: 4
Witch’s Brew Drunk: 12 Eldritch Scrolls Read: 6
Mystic Runes Engraved: 5 Godly Talismans Bestowed: 5
Magical Beanstalks Grown: 1 Chaos Emeralds Discovered: 4
Haunted Forests Traversed: 7 Divine Scrolls Written: 25

Random Fact: Magical Trivia: One player managed to defeat an epic boss with nothing but enchanted breadsticks—no joke!

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