so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 16, 2024

Players: 99/400 Uptime: 96%
Rating: 4.5 / 5
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved: 6 Cursed Statues Activated: 2
Crops Grown: 7898 Endless Staircases Climbed: 3
Corrupted Trees Chopped: 1 Forbidden Doors Opened: 3
Tesseract Cubes Discovered: 1 Ender Dragon Reincarnations: 1
Dragonfire Shields Forged: 5 Whimsical Tea Parties Held: 7

Random Fact: Mythical Moment: A single drop of lava from the Phoenix Feather’s nest can forge an indestructible sword.

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