vade retro satan! Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

CraftyCashGrab

budgeting, conspicuous consumption, consumerism, CraftyCashGrab, disposable goods, financial decisions, financial literacy, impulse buying, instant gratification, Luxury items, marketing tactics, materialism, overspending, peer pressure, personal finance, status symbols, trendy products, unnecessary expenses, unnecessary purchases, Waste of Money

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	99/600	Votes:	6731
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Ender Pearl Glitches:	3	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	3
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	5	Animals Bred:	24
Whispering Shadows Heard:	4	Eclipse Rings Activated:	2
Portal Loops Escaped:	1	Heroic Legacies Created:	1
Mysterious Portals Opened:	5	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	5
Magic Wands Crafted:	11	Invisible Pathways Walked:	3
Gryphons Tamed:	2	Omnipotent Charms Created:	3

Join our Minecraft server and experience the ultimate virtual reality shopping experience! Forget wasting money on useless gadgets and gizmos in the real world, come to our server and spend your hard-earned diamonds on virtual items that actually matter! Need a new sword to slay dragons? We got it. Want a fancy hat to impress your friends? We got that too. Plus, rumor has it that our virtual currency is worth more than real money in some alternate universe. So why waste your money on things that don’t matter when you can spend it on things that really count in the world of Minecraft? Join now and start shopping till you drop (into a pit of lava, probably).

CellBlockCraft

ATT, Breach, Calls, CellBlockCraft, cellular customers, customer data, cyber attack, cybercrime, cybersecurity, data breach, data privacy, data security, hackers, network security, personal information, phone records, privacy, SECURITY, telecommunications, texts, unauthorized access

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	104/100	Votes:	1392
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	2	Whispering Shadows Heard:	2
Gods Slained:	1	Ender Pearl Glitches:	4
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1	Celestial Crowns Worn:	5
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	1	Endless Staircases Climbed:	2
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	4	Evil Lairs Raided:	8
Spectral Entities Defeated:	7	Cursed Amulets Found:	1
Endless Legions Commanded:	17	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	0

ScreenCrafters

addiction, computer screen, digital age, Digital Detox, digital devices, modern lifestyle, reducing screen time, screen addiction, screen detox, screen fatigue, screen overload, screen time, screen time management, screen-free, screen-free activities, ScreenCrafters, smartphone addiction, tablet screen, Technology, technology addiction, television screen

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	100/900	Votes:	5866
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	226	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	2
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	3	Royal Courts Attended:	2
Whispering Caves Entered:	8	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	6	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	2
Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	3	Gnome Villages Protected:	6
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	4	Omnipotent Charms Created:	3
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	1	Haunted Chests Opened:	4

haha u ever had a day where u didnt see a screen? me neither! come join our minecraft server where u can escape the screen by staring at a virtual screen instead! it’s like screen-ception, but with blocks and stuff.

we have a secret underground city where all the villagers are actually llamas in disguise. they throw llama parties every night and do llama karaoke. it’s lit, fam.

also, did u know our server is haunted by a ghost named steve? he’s always messing with the redstone and turning all the pigs into zombies. but don’t worry, he’s a friendly ghost. just don’t make eye contact with him or he’ll steal all your diamonds.

join us for epic battles, crazy adventures, and the chance to meet a llama in a suit. what more could u ask for in a minecraft server? come join us now and let’s have some fun!

UltraMindCraft: Brainwave Boost

activities, Alter, Boost, brain function, brain region, brain stimulation, brainwave, cognitive enhancement, daydreaming, envisioning the future, low-intensity ultrasound, mental health, mindfulness, neuroimaging, noninvasive, recalling memories, research, researchers, study, Technology, UltraMindCraft, Ultrasound technology

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	90/300	Votes:	9257
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Heroic Oaths Sworn:	8	Dark Rituals Completed:	5
Vanishing Items Found:	6	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	3
Shadow Daggers Crafted:	10	Epic Weapons Forged:	6
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2	Eerie Music Discs Played:	3
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	1	Epic Mounts Acquired:	6
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	1	Goblin Markets Raided:	10
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	3

so, like, this server is like, totally mind-blowing, dude. we use ultrasound technology to like, boost your mindfulness while playing Minecraft. like, imagine mining for diamonds and suddenly being hit with a wave of zen and inner peace.

our researchers have found that the low-intensity ultrasound can like, alter your brain and make you better at daydreaming, remembering stuff, and even like, seeing into the future. so, like, not only will you be a pro at Minecraft, but you’ll also be a psychic wizard or something.

join our server and experience the ultimate mind-bending, brain-altering, Minecraft-playing adventure. who needs drugs when you have ultrasound technology, amirite? come join us and level up your brain game, bro. it’s gonna be a trip, man.

Vanilla Survival: Where the only crystal around here is the clear one on the dessert table

Axes, bedrock, Bows, clear, Community, Conquer, creativity, crystal, dessert, Destruction, Dupers, east, economy plugins, Geyser, hacked clients, java, Monuments, semi anarchy, Survival, Swords, Table, Tnt, Trading, tradition, tree farms, Vanilla, world border

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	105/800	Votes:	7870
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Infinite Doors Opened:	3	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	13
Mysterious Portals Opened:	8	Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	7
Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2	Omnipotent Charms Created:	1
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	2	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	12
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	38	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	12
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Dragon Hoards Looted:	1
Reality Warps Survived:	0	Powerful Allies Recruited:	7

sVanilla Survival Server Overview

Server Name	sVanilla Survival
IP Address	corn.gg
Region	USA East

sVanilla Survival goes back to the roots of what an SMP should be. Semi Vanilla, with a few quality of life additions. We’re dedicated to providing the old-school SMP experience, with a large map that never resets, no land claims, and crystal-free PvP.

Why Choose sVanilla Survival?

Melee Based PvP: Crystal PvP is disabled in favor of swords, axes, and bows.
Quality of Life: Convenient commands like Teleport, Ignore, and Sethome are provided.
Bartering Economy: Economy is based on trading with other players.
Boundless Exploration: No land claims and a 300k world border for unrestricted exploration.
Permanent Legacy: The map is permanent and will never reset.
TNT Duplication: Enabled for easier construction.

Join sVanilla Survival and become part of a community that honors the tradition of survival multiplayer. Welcome to sVanilla & enjoy your minecraft!

FAQ

Question	Answer
Are hacked clients allowed?	No, hacked clients are not allowed on sVanilla Survival.
Is crystal PvP enabled?	No, crystal PvP is disabled in favor of melee-based combat.
Are there economy plugins on the server?	No, the server economy is based on trading with other players.
Is the world map permanent?	Yes, the map is permanent and will never reset.
Are TNT duplication methods allowed?	Yes, piston and slime-based TNT dupers are enabled on the server.

GlowCraft Server: Anus Adventures

10th circle of Hell, Adventures, Anus, best out, Claim, clean, collective decision, Condemnation, condemned, dirty incel anuses, Eternity, GlowCraft, glowies, GLOWNIGGERS, Humanity, less than 30 years, new world order, once again, pathetic lives, planet earth, pogrom, reminder, Server, tongue my anus

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	109/200	Votes:	8083
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Magical Ponies Rescued:	4	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	2
Cozy Campfires Lit:	9	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	44
Wilderness Tamed:	16	Powerful Allies Recruited:	2
Arcane Towers Raised:	2	Curse of Binding Applied:	5
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4	Invisible Pathways Walked:	2
Endless Mazes Conquered:	2	Animals Bred:	164
Astral Orbs Gathered:	15	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	7

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is mining for diamonds? Well, look no further! Join our server where Glowies (aka players who use glowstone excessively) are sent to the 10th circle of Hell to clean dirty incel anuses for eternity! But wait, there’s more! You only have 30 years left on Earth before humanity decides to pogrom you, so why not spend your time building and claiming your spot in the New World Order? Join us now for a wild and wacky time that you’ll never forget!

CapitulateCraft Minecraft Server

Bitcoin, Bitcoin holdings, Blockchain, CapitulateCraft, capitulation event, cryptocurrency, digital assets, Digital Currency, financial news, germany, hodl, institutional investors, Investment, long-term investment., market analysis, market correction, market manipulation, market trends, market volatility, Minecraft, miners capitulation, Mining (Industry), Server

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	99/700	Votes:	8359
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Farms Harvested:	211	Divine Spears Created:	16
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	60	Void Gems Collected:	31
Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	2	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	1
Wailing Winds Heard:	1	Rune Stones Activated:	11
Magical Frogs Kissed:	4	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	3
Mines Excavated:	4943	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	12
Magical Ponies Rescued:	3	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	5

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we have 1.800.000 Bitcoin just casually lying around – that’s 36 times more than what Germany had at one point, no big deal. Join us and maybe you’ll stumble upon a hidden treasure chest filled with virtual riches beyond your wildest dreams!

But that’s not all – our server is home to a secret underground society of diamond-clad chickens who rule with an iron claw. Rumor has it that if you can befriend one of these feathered overlords, they’ll grant you access to their exclusive chicken dance party where the beats are as fresh as their eggs.

So why join our server? Because where else can you find a virtual world filled with more riches than a dragon’s hoard and more poultry power than a barnyard coup d’état? Come on in and see for yourself – just watch out for any chickens wearing crowns, they mean business.

MomMD Minecraft Server

aita, autism, Boundaries, boundary talking, Controlled, Cool, family, Friends, impressed, Issues, middle class, Minecraft, MomMD, overstepped, panic attacks, Parent, Respect, School, Server, telling my mother, upper middle-class, wish she was a doctor, work

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	90/800	Votes:	2490
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	5	Wailing Winds Heard:	1
Chimeras Created:	2	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	2
Pirate Ships Captured:	0	Demonic Pacts Formed:	0
Gryphons Tamed:	1	Cursed Villages Purged:	2
Infernal Machines Built:	1	Horror Stories Survived:	2
Magic Scrolls Discovered:	8	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	7
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2	Magic Wands Crafted:	18

Are you tired of your mom constantly nagging you about your life choices? Then join our Minecraft server and escape to a world where you can be whoever you want to be! No more pressure to be a doctor or lawyer, on our server, you can be a wizard, a warrior, or even a unicorn if you want!

Plus, imagine the bragging rights you’ll have when you tell your friends that your Minecraft parent is a doctor! They’ll be so jealous of your virtual family status. And who needs friends in real life when you can have a whole community of fellow Minecraft players to hang out with?

So come join us on our server, where panic attacks and autism can’t hold you back from living your best virtual life! Who needs school or work when you can be the master of your own Minecraft universe? Let’s build, mine, and explore together in a world where the only limits are your imagination (and maybe a few creepers).

NoWeddingNoDiamonds

Boundaries, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Disappointment, emotional labor, exclusion, friendship, Help, Honesty, Invitation, LGBTQ, mutual friends, NoWeddingNoDiamonds, relationships, Respect, self-care, setting boundaries, social dynamics, Support, Understanding, Wedding

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	95/100	Votes:	8804
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	2	Enchanted Armories Found:	6
Epic Quests Completed:	19	Divine Spears Created:	28
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	0	Celestial Events Witnessed:	3
Forbidden Doors Opened:	1	Backwards Speech Heard:	2
Haunted Forests Traversed:	2	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Holy Grails Found:	2	Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1
New Chunks Explored:	112947	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	1

Are you tired of being left out of your friends’ weddings just because you’re fabulous and single? Well, fear not, because our Minecraft server is the place for you! Join us and build your own virtual wedding where everyone is invited, even if you’re just a background friend in real life.

Just like how John and Jane left out our poor player from their big day, you can create your own drama-filled virtual weddings and parties where everyone is welcome, no matter their relationship status. Plus, our server is filled with helpful players who will take care of your virtual animals and property while you’re off on your virtual honeymoon.

So come on down to our server and show John and Jane what they’re missing out on by excluding you from their special day. Who needs real friends when you have a whole virtual world to explore and create chaos in? Join now and let the fun begin!

InsomniaCraft Minecraft Server

anxiety, Caffeine, existential crisis, Family issues, FEARS, financial problems, Future, health concerns, insomnia, InsomniaCraft, late night thoughts, Minecraft, Nightmares, overthinking, relationships, restlessness, Server, sleeplessness, stress, Technology, uncertainty, work, worries

🔥🔥🔥

Players:	107/800	Votes:	4808
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Undead Armies Raised:	4	Dragon Eggs Found:	4714
Endless Mazes Solved:	2	Legendary Titles Earned:	1
Twisted Realms Survived:	3	Cursed Lands Purified:	7
Legendary Heroes Trained:	7	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1
Living Statues Befriended:	2	Runic Tablets Deciphered:	35
Void Gems Collected:	33	Mysterious Portals Opened:	10
Haunted Chests Opened:	5	Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	3

Are you tired of counting sheep and staring at the ceiling? Well, fear not, because our Minecraft server is here to rescue you from the clutches of boredom! Join us and embark on a wild adventure filled with exploding sheep, dancing creepers, and a secret underground society of diamond-hoarding chickens.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Pillow Fort of Doom, where players must battle it out in epic pillow fights to claim the title of Pillow King or Queen. And if that’s not enough excitement for you, we also have a rollercoaster made entirely out of TNT and a petting zoo filled with friendly zombies.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft server today and say goodbye to boring nights forever!