Are you tired of waiting for your Surface Laptop 5 to arrive? Well, why not join our Minecraft server instead! For just $1122 (which is totally not a rip-off, we promise), you can escape your poorfag shithole and enter a world where the only thing you have to worry about is creepers blowing up your house.
On our server, you can build a mansion made entirely out of diamonds, ride pigs into battle against evil mobs, and even participate in our annual “Lava Parkour Challenge” where the winner gets a free pet dragon (Disclaimer: dragons may or may not actually exist in Minecraft).
So forget about your questionable purchase decisions and come join us on the most epic Minecraft server ever created! Who needs a Surface Laptop 5 when you can have a virtual world full of adventure and endless possibilities?
