No Loli MC Servers – New Minecraft Servers 2025

Pigs Love Apples Minecraft SMP

Girls, no loli, PLAP, obligatory, horny

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where we worship the girls who make us go PLAP PLAP PLAP and shoot lots of nutslop! Join us for a wild ride filled with epic builds, crazy adventures, and tons of gooning!

But beware, we have some strict rules in place. No shota or loli allowed, we’re all about keeping it classy here. And leave your weird fetishes at the door, this is a place for pure, unadulterated fun. And don’t even think about being a dramafaggot, we have zero tolerance for that nonsense.

Oh, and did we mention that reverse mating press is obligatory while posting in our server? It’s just how we roll here. So come on in, join the madness, and let’s make some memories that will leave you saying “what the PLAP PLAP PLAP did I just witness?!”

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New Server IP
BlockyBanter Minecraft Server

steaming boy batter, Stroke yourself silly, Stroke, PLAP, no drama

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where every Saturday is Stroke Yourself Silly Saturday! Join us for a wild and wacky time as we worship pixelated girls that make us go PLAP PLAP PLAP and unleash lots of steaming boy batter (don’t worry, it’s all virtual!).

But wait, there’s more! Our server has a strict no shota or loli policy, so you can rest assured that things won’t get too weird. Plus, we don’t tolerate any strange fetishes or drama here – it’s all about good, clean fun (well, as clean as things can get on a Minecraft server).

And don’t forget to visit our /dft/ area to share your favorite tags and get in on the action. Gooning is mandatory while posting in this thread, so get ready to unleash your inner Minecraft master and have a blast with us! Join now for a stroke-tastic time like no other.

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New Server IP
SoggyShip Minecraft Server

emergency response, sank, Russian, crew members, tragic event

LOL THIS SERVER BE LIKE A RUSSIAN CARGO SHIP IN THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA – SINKIN’ AND MISSING CREW LEFT AND RIGHT! JOIN US FOR A WILD RIDE, YOU MIGHT END UP LOST AT SEA BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL HAVE A GOOD TIME! WE GOT CRAZY ADVENTURES AND INSANE BUILDING CHALLENGES, COME ON AND JOIN THE MADNESS! 🚢🌊🤪

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New Server IP
SankCraft: Russian Blast Ship

sanctions violation, sinks, US sanctions, salvage operation, international relations

Yo, so like, have you heard about this wild Minecraft server where a Russian ship under US sanctions sinks after an engine room blast? I know, crazy right? But like, that’s just the beginning of the madness on this server.

Join us for the ultimate underwater adventure as you explore the wreckage of the sunken ship and uncover hidden treasures. But watch out for the radioactive fish mutants that lurk in the depths, they’re not too friendly.

And if that’s not enough to get you hyped, how about this – rumor has it that the ghost of the ship’s captain haunts the server, seeking revenge on anyone who dares to plunder his shipwreck. So like, be prepared to face some spooky encounters while you’re exploring.

So come on, join us on this insane Minecraft server for a one-of-a-kind experience that you won’t find anywhere else. Plus, where else can you say you’ve survived a shipwreck and battled radioactive fish mutants all in one day? Let’s get this party started!

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New Server IP
NoCensor OpenSource FunLand

companies, Prevention, Regulation, generation, consequences

so like, u know how some servers are all strict and boring? well not dis one, cuz we don’t care bout censorship or rules or any of dat stuff. we let u do whatever u want, even if it’s totally cray cray.

like, we got this one player who built a giant statue of a chicken that shoots fireballs out of its butt. and another player who made a roller coaster that goes through a lava pit. it’s lit, fam.

plus, we got all the mods and plugins u could ever want. want to ride a unicorn into battle? we got u. want to turn all the mobs into dancing llamas? done and done. want to blow up the entire map with TNT? well, maybe not that one, but u get the idea.

so come join us on dis server and let your imagination run wild. just don’t blame us if u end up getting banned for building a giant statue of a naked Steve. hey, we never said we were totally uncensored, just mostly uncensored.

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New Server IP
Cancer Cure Crafters

medical breakthrough, Colon Cancer Therapy, Colon Cancer Treatment, Side Effects Avoidance, Tumor Cell Treatment

yo, u gotta join dis cray cray minecraft server cuz we got da sickest tech dat can turn cancer cells into normal cells! like, imagine u mining for diamonds and suddenly u get hit with a cancer cell but BAM, our tech swoops in and turns it into a normal cell like it ain’t no thang. no side effects, just pure minecraft fun! join now and let’s cure cancer, one block at a time!

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New Server IP
Kid’s Dream Heels 1.20.6

High heels, fashion trends, dream, childhood desires, shoe memories

Yo, bro, you gotta join this epic Minecraft server, like seriously, it’s lit AF!

Imagine a world where you can build the craziest heels you liked when you were a kid, like, who wouldn’t want that?

We got custom plugins that will blow your mind, like seriously, your mind will be blown into tiny little pixelated pieces.

And the community? Oh man, don’t even get me started on the community, they’re like a bunch of unicorns dancing on rainbows, it’s magical.

So what are you waiting for? Join now and start building those childhood heels, bro!

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New Server IP
California Changed Its Laws On Shoplifting Minecraft SMP

Minecraft, societal impact, crime, Shoplifting, Legal System

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where all you do is mine and build? Well, do we have the server for you! Join our wacky and wild SMP where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few server rules).

Picture this: you log on to the server and immediately get attacked by a gang of killer bunnies. But don’t worry, they’re just there to welcome you to the server with a bang! And if you manage to survive that, you’ll be greeted by our resident prankster who will fill your house with chickens just for fun.

But the fun doesn’t stop there! Join our weekly events like “TNT Olympics” where you compete to see who can blow up the most stuff in the most creative way possible. Or how about our “Pig Racing Derby” where you ride pigs through obstacle courses and try not to fall off (spoiler alert: you will).

So why wait? Join our crazy Minecraft SMP today and see if you have what it takes to survive the chaos! And remember, there’s always hope…unless you’re being chased by a horde of zombie chickens.

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New Server IP
RedFlagPersonality – Minecraft SMP

Insecurity, smp, Personality, controlling behavior, dishonesty

Bro, if you ain’t joining this epic Minecraft SMP, you’re missing out on the wildest ride of your life. We got creepers that tell dad jokes, villagers that breakdance, and a secret underground club where the Ender Dragon throws the sickest parties. Plus, our admin is a talking chicken who wears a top hat and monocle. If that ain’t a red flag for a good time, I don’t know what is. So grab your pickaxe and come join us for a Minecraft adventure like no other!

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New Server IP
MinecraftTimeWarp

time crawling by, excruciating wait, time standing still, MinecraftTimeWarp, excruciatingly long

Have you ever been stuck in a never-ending loop of crafting the perfect diamond sword, only to have it disappear right before your eyes? Well, on our Minecraft server, we guarantee you’ll never have to experience that kind of heartbreak again! Join us and embark on a wild adventure filled with exploding sheep, dancing creepers, and a secret underground village run by a group of mischievous villagers who are always up to no good. Trust us, the longest five minutes of your life will be spent laughing uncontrollably on our server!

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New Server IP