narrator since 1997

1. We’re so close to hitting rock bottom that we might actually strike oil and become rich beyond our wildest dreams. Who needs diamonds when you can have black gold, am I right?

2. Our base may be half dead, but thanks to the recent Ms Miggles mania, we’re seeing a resurgence like never before. Who knew a virtual currency could have such a profound impact on our virtual world?

3. APU and PEPE are on the road to recovery, and if that’s not a sign that the market as a whole is going to bounce back, then I don’t know what is. Plus, we will never stop shilling our sweet boy DATBOI, so you know we’re in it for the long haul.

4. Ever wanted to play a line riders or happy wheels game within Minecraft? Well, we’re crazy enough to make that happen. And who knows, maybe we’ll figure out a way to monetize it and become virtual millionaires.

So come join us on this wild ride, where the only guarantee is that we are too autistic to die. Trust me, you won’t regret it (or maybe you will, but that’s part of the fun)!