masterbating Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

TrumpCraft: Where we take out mobs like Qasem Soleimani! #MinecraftMadness

aggression, biden, Conflict Resolution, Defense, Diplomacy, escalation, foreign policy, international relations, iran, leadership, MIDDLE EAST, Military Action, MinecraftMadness, mobs, Négotiation, nuclear deal, Peacekeeping, Qasem, Qasem Soleimani, RETALIATION, sanctions, SECURITY, Soleimani, trump, Trumpcraft

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Players:	107/500	Votes:	902
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	0	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3
Powerful Allies Recruited:	8	Mineshafts Explored:	5
Phoenix Feathers Found:	5	Epic Mounts Acquired:	4
Love Letters Sent:	19	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	16
Glorious Feasts Held:	6	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	2
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	36	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	5
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0	Curse of Binding Applied:	4

Join our Minecraft server and experience the ultimate showdown between Trump and Soleimani! Build your own nuclear weapons and show Iran who’s boss in epic battles that have never been seen before! Biden may be sleeping on the job, but you can take matters into your own hands on our server. Don’t miss out on the chaos and destruction, join now!

ShitalyCraft: Where suffering is not an option!

25 yr old, autist, Christ, damn it, durrrr, easy sex, GOD, Jesus, KHV, long trail tags, Normie, option, Pain, reclusive life, shitaly, ShitalyCraft, shut the fuck up, suffer, Suffering, tags

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Players:	91/500	Votes:	7982
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	14	Rainbows Spotted:	10
Cursed Statues Activated:	1	Duplicated Mobs Battled:	2
New Chunks Explored:	787408	Dragonkin Hatched:	5
Divine Relics Bestowed:	7	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	9
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	Fairy Circles Danced In:	8
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	2	Villages Defended:	18
Immortal Anvils Forged:	11	Soulbound Rings Equipped:	5

Are you tired of being a 25-year-old kissless virgin in a world full of normies? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, everyone is a kissless virgin! That’s right, no need to worry about fitting in or feeling left out, because we’re all awkward and socially inept here!

Join our server and experience the joy of easy sex in a world where everyone is just as lonely and desperate as you are. Build your own virtual paradise where you can escape from the harsh realities of Shitaly and embrace your inner autist with pride.

So what are you waiting for? Leave the normies behind and join us on the most inclusive and awkward Minecraft server out there. Who needs real-life friends when you have a virtual world full of fellow kissless virgins to keep you company? Let’s build some epic blocky fortresses and conquer the world together, one cringeworthy interaction at a time!

Pixelated Wasteland Adventures

action, Adventure, Adventures, bethesda, console, Exploration, fallout 4, Fans, futuristic, Gamers, Gaming, Gaming Community, next gen, open world, PC, pixelated, post-apocalyptic, RPG, Sci Fi, Survival, update, video games, Wasteland

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Players:	108/400	Votes:	8610
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	7	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	11
Hidden Villages Discovered:	1	Ores Mined:	3758
Cursed Diamonds Mined:	5	Immortal Anvils Forged:	6
Shattered Realms Restored:	2	Dragon Hoards Looted:	1
Ancient Guardians Awoken:	2	Inescapable Mazes Solved:	1
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	2	Cosmic Pies Baked:	2
Mythical Relics Collected:	5	Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	1

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers that are as exciting as watching grass grow? Do you crave a server that will make you laugh until your sides hurt? Then look no further, my friend, because this server is the answer to all your prayers!

Join our wacky Minecraft server and prepare to embark on the most ridiculous adventures of your life. We have flying pigs, talking cows, and dancing creepers – yes, you heard that right, dancing creepers! And if that’s not enough to convince you, how about this: our server is actually run by a group of mischievous leprechauns who love nothing more than pulling pranks on unsuspecting players. But don’t worry, it’s all in good fun!

So why should you join our server? Well, for starters, we have a secret underground disco party that only the coolest players can access. Trust us, you haven’t lived until you’ve boogied down with a bunch of skeletons and zombies. And if that’s not enough, we also have a giant maze filled with treasure at the center – but be warned, it’s guarded by a herd of angry llamas who will spit at anyone who dares to enter.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft server today and get ready for a wild ride that you’ll never forget! Just be sure to bring a sense of humor and a healthy dose of courage – you’re gonna need it!

Drive-Thru Disasters: Minecraft Madness

Bans, bans on motorists, car bans, car destruction, car destruction in Detroit, car fees, Detroit, Disasters, DriveThru, Europe, fees, fees for motorists, Humiliation, interchanges, madness, Minecraft, motorists, public transport, public transportation in Europe, public transportation in USA, Transportation, transportation bans, transportation fees, Usa

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Players:	97/1000	Votes:	5178
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Evil Twin Fights:	4	Demonic Pacts Formed:	0
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	1	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	5
Endless Mazes Conquered:	1	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	5
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	1	Duplicated Mobs Battled:	5
Invisible Walls Found:	1	Votes:	3576
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	8	Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	15
Reality Warps Survived:	0	Cozy Campfires Lit:	8

Are you tired of being humiliated as a motorist in Europe? Well, fear not because our Minecraft server is here to save the day! Join us and experience the thrill of charging faggots extra fees and bans in a virtual world where Detroit is the car-destroyed capital of cars. Watch as we destroy interchanges and build public transport like never before. It’s a wild ride that you won’t want to miss! Join now and let the chaos begin!

Minecraft Mayhem: LOL Edition

Account Stats, blood moon, Builds, Current Content, Edition, Fiddlesticks, game updates, High Noon Event, league of legends, lol, lolalytics, lolg, MAYHEM, Minecraft, Model Viewer, OP pastebin, op.gg, patch notes, PBE Patch Notes, u.gg, Upcoming Content, VPBE, zed, Zyra

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Players:	99/1000	Votes:	2038
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	11	Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4
Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	4	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	0
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	3	Votes:	5943
Spectral Entities Defeated:	2	Shadow Realms Conquered:	1
Elemental Temples Cleansed:	3	Ghost Trains Ridden:	2
Astral Orbs Gathered:	14	Soul Contracts Signed:	2
Lost Artifacts Recovered:	4	Secret Libraries Discovered:	2

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers with no excitement or adventure? Well, look no further because our server is the craziest, most outrageous place you’ll ever find in the Minecraft universe!

Join us for our High Noon Event where Zed, Zyra, and Fiddlesticks come to life and wreak havoc on the server! Watch out for the Blood Moon, where the sky turns red and chaos ensues. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced in Minecraft before!

Forget about regular patch notes, we have our own wacky patch notes that will keep you on your toes. From flying pigs to exploding chickens, you never know what to expect next!

Check out our model viewer to see all the insane creations our players have come up with. From giant statues of Teemo to rollercoasters made entirely out of diamonds, the possibilities are endless on our server.

So what are you waiting for? Join us now and experience the most ridiculous, hilarious, and downright crazy Minecraft server you’ll ever encounter. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

NEETcraft: Spend Your Last NEET Funds Wisely!

bleak future, Despair, financial crisis, financial distress, financial hardship, financial insecurity, financial instability, financial struggle, financial support, funds, government aid, hopeless, NEET, NEET assistance, NEET benefits, NEET funds, NEET program, NEETcraft, Remaining, spend, Struggling, unemployed, unemployed life, Wisely

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Players:	101/600	Votes:	861
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	1	Blood Moons Survived:	1
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	4	Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	2
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	4	Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	1
Epic Mounts Acquired:	8	Chimeras Created:	1
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	7	Void Armor Forged:	19
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	2	Backwards Speech Heard:	1
Cosmic Entities Communed With:	0	Evil Lairs Raided:	3

Are you tired of spending your NEET funds on boring things like food and rent? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, you can live out your wildest NEET dreams without ever having to leave your computer chair! Join us now and say goodbye to responsibilities, because who needs to eat when you can be building epic structures and battling creepers all day long?

But that’s not all! On our server, we have a secret underground society of llamas who have mastered the art of mining diamonds with their hooves. Join forces with these majestic creatures and become the richest player on the server in no time!

And if that’s not enough to entice you, rumor has it that there’s a hidden portal on our server that leads to a parallel universe where pigs can fly and zombies break out into dance parties. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?

So come on, join us on our server and say goodbye to the real world. Your NEET funds may be running out, but your adventure is just beginning!

DragonCraft: LOL Edition – Unleash the LOLs and Mine Like a Boss!

265306362, action-packed, Androids, Anime, battle, Boss, Cell, dragon ball, Dragon Balls, DragonCraft, Edition, Frieza, Gohan, goku, Krillin, last thread, lol, lols, Manga, part 3, Piccolo, Saiyan, storytime, Super Saiyan, Unleash, Vegeta, Volume 34

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Players:	100/800	Votes:	6330
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Enchanted Armories Found:	2	Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	62
Cursed Statues Activated:	1	Celestial Crowns Worn:	2
Living Statues Befriended:	3	Soul Swords Wielded:	1
Epic Battles Fought:	20	Buildings Constructed:	42
Mythical Relics Collected:	5	Magic Items Found:	3476
Arcane Towers Raised:	3	Mimic Chests Discovered:	1
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	1	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	1

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old vanilla gameplay? Well, look no further because our server is like a unicorn riding a rainbow through a field of diamond blocks!

Join us for the chance to battle a giant chicken boss that shoots laser beams out of its eyes, or embark on a quest to find the legendary Golden Potato of Destiny. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon a secret portal that leads to a dimension where pigs can fly and creepers do the cha-cha.

But wait, there’s more! Our server has a built-in taco dispenser that rains down delicious tacos whenever you’re feeling hungry in-game. And if you’re feeling extra adventurous, you can take a ride on our roller coaster that goes through a lava-filled volcano.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and experience the wildest, wackiest Minecraft adventure of your life! Trust us, you won’t regret it (unless you’re allergic to fun, in which case, maybe stay away).

FireKillerCraft

blaze it, burn it down, destroy with fire, eliminate with fire, eradicate with fire, exterminate with fire, fire annihilation., fire cleanse, fire it up, fire purge, fire to ashes, FireKillerCraft, flame it, incinerate it, ITT, kil it with fire, scorch it, set it ablaze, torch it, what should be killed with fire

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Players:	96/200	Votes:	7676
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	18	Phantom Ships Sailed:	4
Mythical Swords Crafted:	93	Cosmic Pies Baked:	9
Epic Bosses Defeated:	2	Lava Oceans Crossed:	3
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	6	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	442
Shattered Realms Restored:	0	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	5
Wailing Winds Heard:	3	Evil Lairs Raided:	6
Eclipse Rings Activated:	2	Forgotten Legends Remembered:	7

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers where you have to play by the rules? Well, look no further because our server is the wildest, craziest, and most fire-filled server out there!

Join us if you want to experience the thrill of battling dragons with flamethrowers, building houses out of lava blocks, and riding on giant flaming chickens. Yes, you heard that right – giant flaming chickens!

But that’s not all, folks! Our server is also home to the legendary Fire Wizard who will grant you the power to shoot fireballs from your fingertips and turn your enemies into crispy bacon.

So why wait? Join us now and let the fiery fun begin! Just remember, if it’s not on fire, you’re doing it wrong!

Blocky Brits

blocky, British, british actors, british classic, british comedy icon, british comedy legend, british comedy series, british culture, british entertainment, british humor, british nostalgia, British sitcom, british slang, british television, british television classic, british tv classic, british tv comedy, british tv show, Brits, comedy, only fools and horses, tv show

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Players:	93/300	Votes:	1611
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Alien Abductions:	1	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	44	Dragon Eggs Found:	8559
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	5	Shadow Realms Conquered:	1
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	6	Epic Bosses Defeated:	5
Divine Relics Bestowed:	8	Talking Trees Consulted:	1
Magic Wands Crafted:	11	Herobrine Sightings:	7
Mythical Swords Crafted:	46	Invisible Walls Found:	1

Welcome to the most epic Minecraft server you’ll ever encounter! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player joined our server and found a secret diamond mine that led to a magical land filled with flying pigs and talking cows. True story, bro.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the infamous Delboy, a legendary player who can build a castle in 10 seconds flat and tame a creeper with just a wink. Rumor has it that if you join our server, you might just catch a glimpse of Delboy riding a dragon into battle against a horde of zombie villagers.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and embark on the craziest Minecraft adventure of your life. Who knows, you might even become best friends with a block of TNT that tells dad jokes. Don’t miss out on the fun – join us today!

CheongsamCraft: Where Chinese fashion meets blocky adventures!

Adventures, Asian fashion, beauty, blocky, Cheongsam, CheongsamCraft, China, Chinese, Chinese dress, classic, cultural heritage, cultural pride, elegance, embroidery, fashion, high collar, History, iconic, meets, modern twist, qipao, silk, stylish, traditional clothing, womens fashion

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Players:	95/400	Votes:	4691
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Crystal Caves Mapped:	5	Cursed Scrolls Read:	5
Mystic Runes Engraved:	3	Warrior Spirits Summoned:	36
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	0	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	3
Dragons Tamed:	4	Hidden Villages Discovered:	1
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	2	Runes Activated:	2
Unseen Monsters Slain:	7	Invisible Pathways Walked:	2
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	9

Welcome to our Minecraft server where we believe that Cheongsam are the ultimate fashion statement! Why join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Legend has it that wearing a Cheongsam in our world gives you superpowers like the ability to fly, shoot lasers from your eyes, and summon a herd of llamas to do your bidding. Plus, our server is home to the rarest and most valuable Cheongsam designs in all of Minecraft! So come join us and strut your stuff in style while dominating the virtual world with your Cheongsam powers. Trust us, once you go Cheongsam, you’ll never go back!