I Broke the Minecraft World Speedrun Record!

first off, our calorie labels on menus are so on point, they will make u rethink ur entire diet. we got u covered with all the healthy options, like, u can choose between a carrot or a celery stick. but watch out, cuz those options are only 11 calories, which is basically a single pringle crisp. so, if u wanna stay fit and have a laugh, join us now!

but wait, there’s more! our server is so wild, we once had a creeper come in and start dancing to disco music. it was lit, fam. we also have a secret underground base where we keep all the rarest items, like enchanted golden apples and diamond armor. join us and u might just stumble upon this hidden treasure trove!

so, what r u waiting for? come join our wacky, calorie-conscious, creeper-dancing, treasure-filled minecraft server now! u won’t regret it, unless u hate fun and laughter, in which case, u should probably go play solitaire or something.