govcucks Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

BeholdTheBlockParty Minecraft SMP

alive, based woman, BeholdTheBlockParty, Free Yourself, glowkike surveillance state, half chan brainlet, Minecraft, Ops, peter thiel, Pit, smp, talks, Talmud denouncement

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Players:	90/800	Votes:	1053
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Phantom Blocks Placed:	8	Dragon Hoards Looted:	2
Pirate Ships Captured:	0	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Dragon Scales Harvested:	179	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	3	Astral Projections Made:	2
Cursed Villages Purged:	3	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	2	Mimic Chests Discovered:	5
Lunar Scepters Activated:	9	Mythical Creatures Tamed:	2

Are you tired of being stuck in the half-chan brainlet pit? Want to break free from the glowkike surveillance state ops? Look no further than our Minecraft SMP, where the only based woman alive will guide you to enlightenment! Join us as we denounce the Talmud, discuss Peter Thiel, and uncover the secrets of the universe. Plus, rumor has it that Herobrine himself is a regular player on our server, so you never know what kind of crazy adventures await you. So come on, join us and let’s break free from the shackles of the glowkike surveillance state ops together!

FishyMemoryCraft

Alzheimer’s disease, Alzheimer’s prevention, APOE4 gene, brain health, brain protection, clinical trial, cognitive decline, cognitive function, Dietary supplements, fish oil supplements, FishyMemoryCraft, genetic predisposition, genetic risk factors, healthy aging, nerve cells, neurodegenerative disease, neuroprotection, nutrition intervention, older adults, omega-3, Prevention

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Players:	93/800	Votes:	5949
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Crystal Wands Charged:	9	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3
Moonlit Rituals Performed:	6	Immortal Anvils Forged:	20
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	9	Volcanoes Explored:	2
Mineshafts Explored:	3	Cursed Taverns Survived:	3
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	1	Secret Libraries Discovered:	3
Backwards Speech Heard:	4	Crystal Caves Mapped:	7
Inverted Worlds Discovered:	1	Blood-Forged Axes Created:	20

Yo, yo, yo! Are you ready to join the most lit Minecraft server out there? We got fish oil supplements for all our players, especially the older adults with a genetic predisposition to Alzheimer’s disease!

Join our server and take those omega 3 fish oil supplements to reduce the breakdown of nerve cells in the brain while you build your epic Minecraft creations! Plus, if you carry the APOE4 gene associated with Alzheimer’s disease, you get extra perks like super brain power and the ability to build the craziest structures in the game!

So what are you waiting for? Join us now and let’s fish oil our way to victory in Minecraft! Trust us, it’s gonna be a brain-tastic adventure like no other!

CalamityCraft Minecraft Server

/v/ community, Calamity server, CalamityCraft, game server hosting, Gaming Community, Hosting, hosting provider, Minecraft, multiplayer server, online gaming, online server hosting, Server, server administration, server hosting, server hosting company, server hosting service, server maintenance, Server Management, Server Support, V, Video game server, virtual hosting, virtual server

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Players:	107/600	Votes:	6401
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Magical Ponies Rescued:	5	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2
Talking Trees Consulted:	6	Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	20
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	3	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	1
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	128	Eternal Flames Captured:	5
Pirate Ships Raided:	0	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	7
Crystal Wands Charged:	8	Infernal Machines Built:	0
Emeralds Found:	4957	Invisible Walls Found:	2

Oh, let me tell you about this wild Minecraft server! The /v/ Calamity server is hosted by a group of mischievous pandas who have mastered the art of building epic structures with bamboo and have a secret underground dance party every full moon.

But that’s not even the best part! The server is guarded by a pack of ninja chickens who will challenge you to epic duels for the chance to enter the legendary Chicken Temple, where you can find rare loot and unlock special abilities like the power to turn your enemies into fluffy bunnies.

And if you’re lucky, you might stumble upon the hidden portal that leads to the Land of Llamas, where you can ride rainbow-colored llamas into battle against evil mobs and uncover the secrets of the mystical llama wizards.

So, why join the /v/ Calamity server? Because where else can you find pandas, ninja chickens, rainbow llamas, and llama wizards all in one place? It’s a Minecraft adventure like no other, and you won’t want to miss out on the chaos and hilarity that awaits you!

Minecraft SMP – /min/ – Mining and Crafting Maniacs

Banners, Community, Crafting, discussion, event calendar, Events, feh, fire emblem heroes, Fire Emblem Heroes Links, gameplay, general, guides, Heroes, Maniacs, Min, Minecraft, Mining, mobile game, New Trailer, News, smp, strategy, summoning cost simulator, Tips, units, Updates

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Players:	93/300	Votes:	8879
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	3	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3
Magical Moments Shared:	8	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	4
Runes Activated:	4	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	12
Towns Built:	1	Time-Warping Watches Found:	2
Magical Frogs Kissed:	7	Farms Harvested:	526
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	44	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	8
Rainbows Spotted:	5	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	6

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where we take Fire Emblem Heroes to a whole new level! Join us for epic battles, crazy summoning sessions, and more memes than you can shake a diamond sword at.

Why join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player joined our SMP and summoned a hero so powerful, the entire server shook with fear. Legend has it that this hero could one-shot a creeper with a single glance. Want to test your luck and see if you can summon this legendary hero too?

But that’s not all! Our server is home to the most epic events you’ve ever seen in Minecraft. From massive PvP battles to parkour challenges that will make you rage-quit and come back for more, there’s never a dull moment on our SMP.

So what are you waiting for? Join us now and become a legend in your own right. Just remember, when you hear the battle cry of “FEH!”, you know you’re in for a wild ride.

BroSisGFPsychoLols

aita, analogy, BroSisGFPsychoLols, brother, collection, Cologne, fuckboy, Girlfriend, humans, inanimate objects, LAUGH, Living, OFFENDED, psych class, psychoanalysis, room, scent, stupid, Tour

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Players:	101/300	Votes:	8058
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	2	Magical Familiars Summoned:	5
Legendary Heroes Trained:	5	Cursed Scrolls Read:	3
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	2	Hidden Villages Discovered:	1
Titanic Relics Retrieved:	5	Enchanted Forests Planted:	10
Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	8	Mythical Quests Completed:	19
Endless Staircases Climbed:	1	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2
Cursed Taverns Survived:	2	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	5

Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers with nothing but the same old quests and builds? Well, look no further! Join our server for a cologne-collecting adventure like no other!

Imagine a world where every block smells like a different cologne, where you can trade bottles with other players, and even start your own cologne review TikTok page within the game! Who knows, maybe some virtual cologne companies will send you free bottles too!

But beware, there may be players who accuse you of being a Minecraft “fuckboy” just because you enjoy collecting colognes. But don’t worry, we have plenty of virtual psychologists in the game to help you navigate through these absurd accusations.

So why wait? Join our server now and embark on a scent-sational journey filled with laughter, absurd analogies, and of course, plenty of cologne bottles to collect!

Glace SMP: Whispering Woods – where even the trees speak louder than the players!

Adventure, alliances, base building, Challenges, Community, Discord, Exploration, friendship, glace, leader, louder, modded server, New server, Players, PvP, release date, smp, speak, Survival, teamwork, Towns, Trade, Trees, War, whispering, Whitelisted server, Woods

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Players:	99/100	Votes:	996
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	1	Meteorites Collected:	1
Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	3	Interstellar Fungi Gathered:	3
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	11	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	3
Wailing Winds Heard:	2	Haunted Mines Explored:	3
Titanic Battles Fought:	15	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	16
Farms Harvested:	784	Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	3
Ancient Ruins Explored:	3	Celestial Gardens Planted:	8

Glace SMP: Whispering Woods

A server where you can explore with friends and take on challenges that are harder than vanilla minecraft! Join today to create your own Alliance or join someone else’s and build towns together.

Release Date: Today!

Server Access: Whitelisted. Contact itsglace on Discord to join.

FAQ

Q: How do I join the server?	A: Contact itsglace on Discord to get whitelisted.
Q: What is an Alliance?	A: Alliances are groups of players who build towns together and can go to war or trade with other Alliances.
Q: How many Alliances are there currently?	A: There are 10 different Alliances on the server.
Q: Can I create my own Alliance?	A: Yes, you can create your own Alliance or join an existing one.

CraftyCuck Minecraft Server

ashamed, CraftyCuck, cuckoldry, DESPERATE, Job, Lazy, lose job, Minecraft, models, need a job, neets, psyop, psyop of NEETs, Rich, selling life, Server, shareholders, slaving away, unemployed, work harder, worthless losers, Yacht, Years

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Players:	93/500	Votes:	1891
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Divine Scrolls Written:	5	Magical Beanstalks Grown:	4
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	0	Astral Orbs Gathered:	11
Chaos Gates Opened:	2	Magical Moments Shared:	16
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	2	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	3	Demon Skulls Collected:	16
Magic Scrolls Discovered:	6	Orbs of Power Found:	12
Hidden Villages Discovered:	3	Reality Distortions Fixed:	3

Tired of being a wage slave in the real world? Join our Minecraft server and escape the clutches of capitalism! On our server, you can build your own empire without having to answer to any greedy shareholders. No more selling your soul for a paycheck, now you can mine for diamonds and build your dream castle instead!

Join us and become a proud NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) warrior, fighting against the oppressive forces of the job market. Who needs a job when you can spend your days crafting, exploring, and battling mobs in our virtual world?

Don’t let society shame you for being unemployed, embrace your inner gamer and join our server where being a NEET is not only accepted, but celebrated. Say goodbye to the rat race and hello to endless possibilities in our Minecraft paradise. So what are you waiting for? Join now and start living your best NEET life!

RootkitRampage Minecraft SMP

Anticheats, computer security, cybersecurity, Data Protection, data security, dualbooting, encrypted partition, file encryption, Gaming, linux, malware, Minecraft, online gaming, privacy, Protection, riot vanguard, ROOTKIT, RootkitRampage, SCANNING, smp, software, Technology

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Players:	90/1000	Votes:	9758
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	7	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	400
Magic Wands Crafted:	25	Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	2
Mystic Mirrors Unlocked:	3	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1
Chaos Gates Opened:	1	Magical Beanstalks Grown:	3
Lost Cities Unearthed:	3	Evil Portals Destroyed:	1
Epic Battles Fought:	15	Gorgon Shields Crafted:	1
Alien Abductions:	3	Rune Stones Activated:	12

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where even Riot Vanguard can’t stop us from having a blast! Join us for a wild ride filled with epic builds, crazy adventures, and maybe even a few run-ins with some sneaky creepers.

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that our server is actually run by a group of highly skilled hackers who have hidden secret treasure chests filled with diamonds and rare items all over the map. Will you be the one to uncover their hidden loot and become the richest player on the server?

And if that wasn’t enough to entice you, we also have a special plugin that turns all the sheep on the server into flying pigs. That’s right, flying pigs! So come join us and experience the chaos and hilarity that ensues when pigs take to the skies.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft SMP today and see if you have what it takes to survive and thrive in our wacky world. Just remember, when in doubt, always blame it on the pigs!

WeddingCraft: FriendRemoved

blocked on social media, bridesman, Communication Issues, Conflict Resolution, destination wedding, ENGAGEMENT, financial reasons, FriendRemoved, friendship, long distance friendship, missing a friend, Moving, online dating, personal boundaries, plane ticket, prioritizing relationships, putting yourself first, self-care, Wedding, wedding planning, WeddingCraft

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Players:	95/800	Votes:	9434
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	1	Crystal Palaces Visited:	1
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Gryphons Tamed:	1
Secret Libraries Discovered:	5	Meteorite Armor Created:	12
Players Killed by Monsters:	1795	Dragon Eggs Found:	1352
Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	2	Curse of Binding Applied:	5
Love Letters Sent:	7	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1
Volcanoes Explored:	2	Animals Bred:	18

Looking for a Minecraft server that values friendship and loyalty? Look no further than our server, where we promise not to ghost you like this former friend did! Join us for epic adventures, hilarious shenanigans, and a community that will always have your back, unlike some people we know cough cough. Plus, we have virtual destination weddings in Puerto Rico for all our players who want to tie the blocky knot! Don’t be like this ex-friend, join our server and let’s build some memories together! #BlockyBestiesForever #NotGhostingYouLikeThatGuy #MinecraftWeddingGoals

SMP_QuitTheBS – Minecraft SMP

annoyance, Apathy, Boredom, Cliches, disinterest, ennui, exasperation, exhaustion, FATIGUE, Frustration, indifference, Irritation, lack of innovation, Mediocrity, Minecraft, monotony, predictability, Repetition, smp, SMP_QuitTheBS, unoriginality, weariness, world-weariness

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Players:	90/600	Votes:	3711
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	1	Cosmic Pies Baked:	2
Dark Rituals Completed:	7	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2
Cosmic Hamsters Found:	3	Epic Mounts Acquired:	4
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	3	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	2
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	3	Cursed Villages Purged:	1
Endless Legions Commanded:	47	Elemental Temples Cleansed:	2
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	13	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	5

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is finding a new type of flower? Well, look no further because our server is the ultimate cure for your Minecraft blues! Join us for a wild ride filled with crazy adventures, unexpected twists, and a community of players who are just as wacky as you are.

Imagine this: you’re peacefully mining for diamonds when suddenly a herd of flying pigs swoops down from the sky and starts dancing the Macarena. Or how about the time when a group of creepers formed a boy band and serenaded you with their explosive harmonies? Anything can happen on our server, and that’s what makes it so darn addictive.

But wait, there’s more! We have a secret underground disco party every Saturday night where players can show off their best dance moves and win fabulous prizes. And don’t even get me started on our annual llama racing competition – it’s a nail-biting event that will have you on the edge of your seat (or saddle).

So why waste your time on boring servers when you could be part of the craziest, most unpredictable Minecraft community out there? Join us now and prepare for a gaming experience like no other. Just be sure to bring your sense of humor and a healthy dose of insanity – you’re gonna need it!