crayon retard Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

CrayonEater69 Minecraft SMP – The Adventures of a Crayon-Loving Retard

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Players:	107/300	Votes:	7526
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Immortal Potions Brewed:	11	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	50
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	3	Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	2
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	1	Twisted Realms Survived:	1
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	3	Legendary Scepters Created:	4
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	4	Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	2
Divine Relics Bestowed:	14	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	2
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	2	Pirate Ships Captured:	3

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone is just building the same old stuff? Well, come join our server where we have a crayon-eating retard named /vt/ who will keep you entertained for hours on end!

Not only that, but we have a secret underground base filled with llamas wearing top hats and monocles, just waiting to trade with you for the rarest items in the game. And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon a hidden treasure chest filled with diamonds and enchanted golden carrots.

But beware, our server is also home to a mischievous group of flying pigs who will swoop down and steal your items if you’re not careful. So strap on your diamond armor and join us for the craziest, most unpredictable Minecraft experience of your life!

DoggyDanceParty

#earworm, 90s music, baha men, bahamas, catchy tune, Conspiracy, Dance, DoggyDanceParty, Dogs, gain, let the dogs out, most likely, Music, Mystery, Nostalgia, one hit wonder, party anthem, pop culture, Repetition, speculation, Viral song

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Players:	106/1000	Votes:	8219
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Titanic Battles Fought:	29	Living Shadows Defeated:	1
Whispering Shadows Heard:	3	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	5	Werewolf Howls Heard:	1
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	4	Enchantments Applied:	203
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	20	Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	0
Blood Moons Survived:	2	Portal Loops Escaped:	1
Rainbows Spotted:	5	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3

YO YO YO, WANNA JOIN A MINECRAFT SERVER WHERE THE BAHAMEN LET THE DOGS OUT? YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, THE DOGS ARE RUNNING WILD AND CAUSING CHAOS EVERYWHERE! BUT DON’T WORRY, THEY’RE ACTUALLY SUPER FRIENDLY AND WILL HELP YOU MINE FOR DIAMONDS AND FIGHT OFF CREEPERS.

ALSO, DID YOU KNOW THAT THE BAHAMEN ARE ACTUALLY SECRETLY MINECRAFT EXPERTS? YEAH, THEY’VE BEEN PLAYING SINCE ALPHA AND HAVE BUILT THE MOST EPIC CASTLES AND REDSTONE CONTRAPTIONS YOU’VE EVER SEEN. PLUS, THEY’VE GOT A SECRET UNDERGROUND BASE FILLED WITH TREASURE THAT THEY’LL LET YOU RAID IF YOU JOIN THE SERVER.

SO COME ON DOWN AND JOIN THE MADNESS! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? THE BAHAMEN DID, AND THEY’RE READY TO TAKE YOU ON AN ADVENTURE LIKE NO OTHER. SEE YOU IN THE GAME, DUDE!

Einstein’s Super-Loop Minecraft

albert einstein, Einsteins, empirical results, false negative, false-positive, John Bell, Minecraft, nonlocal hidden variables, super-deterministic loophole, SuperLoop

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Players:	106/1000	Votes:	8765
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Endless Mazes Conquered:	3	Celestial Gardens Planted:	2
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	10	Meteorite Armor Created:	30
Divine Spears Created:	28	Rune Stones Activated:	8
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	4	Zombie Dances:	8
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	1	Haunted Forests Traversed:	5
Cozy Campfires Lit:	9	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	7
Players Killed by Monsters:	4346	Epic Bosses Defeated:	3

come join our epic minecraft server where we have uncovered the secrets of albert einstein’s nonlocal hidden variables!!! forget about john bell’s super-deterministic loophole, we have closed that shizzz down!!! join us and discover the power of these hidden variables, and how they can lead to false positives and negatives in your minecraft adventures!!! who needs conventional science when you have our crazy server to explore?!?! join now for a mind-bending experience like no other!!!

Newcoming [Roleplay SMP]

Application Process, Brewery, Claims, Community, Crafting, Custom Items, Custom Map, Dungeons, Events, FANTASY, Grief Protection, Lore, Medieval, player-driven, Quests, Roleplay, smp, storytelling, Survival, Uptime, Whitelist, Worldbuilding

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Players:	99/200	Votes:	9018
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Mythical Relics Collected:	7	Cursed Taverns Survived:	3
Celestial Crowns Worn:	2	Endless Mazes Solved:	1
Mines Excavated:	2192	Reality Distortions Fixed:	3
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	2
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	26	Enchanted Armories Found:	3
Hidden Passages Discovered:	7	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	9
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	12	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1

Newcoming is an RP-heavy whitelist SMP set in a medieval fantasy setting where you get to write your own story and enjoy stories created by others! Explore a vast and diverse continent where the borders between worlds have grown thinner. Are you a local traveller? A guest from another world? Would you rather settle in a kingdom or roam about, not tied down by anything? Learn from both the lands and the people and watch your story unfold.

CUSTOM MAPOur map is 100% custom-built; 25k by 25k blocks total. The mainland continent covers about 19k by 14k blocks, but there are other islands out in the ocean to explore.There are a number of dungeons and other lore/quest locations with more to be added as the server goes on. Some may even be created by players themselves!

CUSTOM ITEMSWith a plethora of custom crafting and brewery recipes, our players will never run out of things to discover.

PLAYER-DRIVEN WORLDBUILDINGPlayers can create their own cities, nations and organizations, and even write the lore of our world! While there are some milestones one needs to reach to claim bigger titles (say, empire), anyone can leave a mark on this world.

CLAIMSYour builds are safe from griefing. Destruction of player-made structures can only happen if appropriate and justified in the story, if approved by the mod team. Accumulate claims blocks through playtime and protect your passion projects!

24/7 UPTIMEYou get to play no matter the timezone! While player-organized events might run at odd times if you don’t live in EU or NA, you still get to enjoy RP and worldbuilding at your own pace.

WHITELISTWe prioritize building a close-knit, friendly community of competent players over quick growth. In order to gain access to the server, you’ll have to pass our application process. Apply in our discord: discord.gg/gPX7H8U8

newcoming.net

BlockBuddies Minecraft Server

80972708, BlockBuddies, long tail tags, Minecraft, Numbers, previous, Server

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Players:	103/200	Votes:	3270
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	2	Lost Souls Rescued:	1
Titanic Battles Fought:	26	Enchanted Armories Found:	2
Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	1	Cosmic Hamsters Found:	2
Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	6	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	4
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	7	Celestial Crowns Worn:	5
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	1	Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	1
Vanishing Structures Built:	4	Gnome Villages Protected:	6

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old gameplay? Well, look no further because our server is like a magical unicorn riding a rainbow through a field of diamonds!

Join us and you’ll find yourself in a world where pigs fly, creepers dance the Macarena, and zombies have a secret love for disco music. Our server is so epic, even Herobrine himself is a regular player!

But wait, there’s more! We have a secret underground society of villagers who are secretly plotting to take over the world with their potato-powered machines. Will you join them or stop their starchy revolution? The choice is yours!

So come on down to our server and experience the craziest, zaniest, most mind-blowing Minecraft adventure of your life! Just be sure to bring your sense of humor and a healthy dose of insanity.

CraftyDigits Minecraft Server

80972708, CraftyDigits, long tail tags, Minecraft, Numbers, previous, Server

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Players:	99/700	Votes:	4497
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Whispering Shadows Heard:	4	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	4
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	2	Mythical Swords Crafted:	53
Blood Moons Survived:	0	Duplicated Mobs Battled:	2
Magic Items Found:	1056	Cozy Campfires Lit:	7
Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	4	Immortal Anvils Forged:	20
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0	Celestial Crowns Worn:	2
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	1	Ghost Trains Ridden:	0

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old rules and restrictions? Well, look no further because our server is the craziest, wildest, most absurd historians. is. this

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of of of of of of of of of a this . @ of The first step is to make sure that your computer is connected to the internet. You can do this by opening a web browser and trying to navigate to a website. If you are able to access the internet, then your computer is connected. If you are not able to access the internet, then you will need to troubleshoot your internet connection before proceeding with the installation.

The next step is to download the installer for the software that you want to install. You can do this by navigating to the website of the software developer and finding the download link for the installer. Once you have downloaded the installer, you can run it by double-clicking on the downloaded file.

Follow the on-screen instructions to complete the installation process. This will typically involve agreeing to the terms and conditions of the software license agreement, choosing the installation location, and selecting any additional options that you want to include in the installation.

Once the installation is complete, you can launch the software by double-clicking on the desktop icon or by navigating to the program files and clicking on the executable file.

If you encounter any issues during the installation process, you can consult the software developer’s website for troubleshooting tips and support.

VacayDenier Minecraft Server

acquaintances, Birthday, Conflict, disagreement, Expenses, family, Financial goals, Financial Security, Friends, Frustration, loan, Minecraft, MONEY, personal objectives, Repayment, SAVING, Server, sister, special occasion, Support, unreasonable, vacation, VacayDenier

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Players:	97/1000	Votes:	3828
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Talking Trees Consulted:	3	New Chunks Explored:	984962
Astral Orbs Gathered:	9	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	13
Warlock Pacts Sealed:	1	Phantom Rings Equipped:	5
Immortal Anvils Forged:	20	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	4
Star Shards Collected:	107	Phantom Knights Defeated:	6
Time-Warping Watches Found:	3	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	7
Magical Frogs Kissed:	7	Undead Armies Raised:	2

Are you tired of being guilt-tripped into lending money to your freeloading sister for her extravagant vacations? Well, look no further! Join our Minecraft server and escape the drama of real life!

On our server, you can build your own virtual vacation paradise without worrying about your sister mooching off of you. Plus, you won’t have to deal with any entitled family members telling you how to spend your hard-earned diamonds.

So come on over and join us for a stress-free gaming experience where the only loans you’ll be dealing with are from the Minecraft villagers. Sorry, Laura, but you’re on your own this time!

ChunkyRiderz

aita, Animals, Asshole, Beach, ChunkyRiderz, deleted post, detail, fat people, fat shaming, Friends, horse riding, hurt feelings, obese, Offense, overweight, torture, vacation, vacation with friends

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Players:	110/700	Votes:	374
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3
Forbidden Tomes Read:	1	Celestial Crowns Worn:	1
Epic Bosses Defeated:	2	Divine Scrolls Written:	10
Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	5	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	7
Lost Artifacts Recovered:	3	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	1
Portal Loops Escaped:	3	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	13
Phantom Knights Defeated:	2	Celestial Gardens Planted:	8

Are you tired of being fat-shamed by your friends for not wanting to ride a horse because of your weight? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, we embrace all shapes and sizes! Whether you’re a slim jim or a chunky monkey, everyone is welcome to join our virtual world where horses are ridden by flying pigs and no one gets judged for their size.

Join us on this server where fat-shaming is a thing of the past and where you can ride your virtual horse with pride, no matter what your weight may be. And hey, who knows, maybe you’ll even find some flying pigs to ride on too! So come on down and leave the fat-shaming drama behind, because on our server, we’re all about having a good time and embracing our inner Minecraft selves.

AgeGapLove Minecraft Server

advice, age gap relationships, AgeGapLove, Challenges, Commitment, Communication, compatibility, dating older, dating younger, experiences, growth, Happiness, judgment, love, Maturity, Minecraft, perspective, relationships, Server, societal norms, success stories, unconventional relationships, Understanding

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Players:	92/100	Votes:	6961
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	4	Orbs of Power Found:	4
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	10	Astral Amulets Crafted:	41
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	1	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	16
Enchanted Forests Planted:	11	Phantom Knights Defeated:	4
Ghost Miner’s Tools Found:	6	Endless Mazes Solved:	2
Mystical Amulets Crafted:	42	Celestial Gardens Planted:	6
New Chunks Explored:	280070	Shadow Realms Conquered:	1

Are you tired of boring old servers where the only excitement is mining for diamonds? Well, look no further because our server is where the real action is at! We have Redditors who have dated people with more than a 10-year age gap sharing their hilarious and sometimes cringeworthy stories. Join us for a chance to meet your very own Minecraft sugar daddy or cougar queen! Who knows, you might even find love in the pixelated world. So what are you waiting for? Join now and prepare for some age-defying adventures!

CraftyGrinzMC

bright side, cheerful, CraftyGrinzMC, Feel-Good, finding joy, Good Mood, Good Vibes, Grateful, Happiness, happiness is contagious, Happy, joy, Laughter, laughter is the best medicine, positive energy, positive outlook, positivity, simple pleasures, smiling, spreading joy, Uplifting

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Players:	104/800	Votes:	7500
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Infinity Stones Found:	5	Void Gems Collected:	38
Cozy Campfires Lit:	5	Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	5
Legendary Heroes Trained:	7	Endless Staircases Climbed:	2
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	5	World-Altering Spells Cast:	2
Werewolf Howls Heard:	2	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	2
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	6	Divine Spears Created:	13
Alien Abductions:	5	Twisted Realms Survived:	1

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old quests and buildings? Well, look no further because our server is here to shake things up! Picture this: you log on and are immediately greeted by a dancing chicken wearing a top hat. Yes, you heard that right. Our server is full of wacky surprises like this that will keep you entertained for hours on end.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Diamond Pig, a pig so rare and majestic that players from all over the world come to catch a glimpse of it. Rumor has it that if you manage to tame the Diamond Pig, you will be granted three wishes by the Minecraft gods themselves. Sounds too good to be true? Well, you’ll just have to join and find out for yourself!

So why wait? Join our server today and experience a world of laughter, excitement, and maybe even a dancing chicken or two. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

NukeCraft: Russia vs US

arms race, Cold War tensions, defense policy, diplomatic tensions, foreign policy, geopolitical conflict, germany, global security, international relations, military escalation, military presence, military response, nuclear deployment, Nuclear deterrence, nuclear missiles, Nuclear Threat, nukecraft, political strategy, russia, strategic deployment, US weapons

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Players:	103/700	Votes:	9052
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Twisted Realms Survived:	2	Reality Warps Survived:	1
Sentient Weapons Trained:	4	Eternal Flames Captured:	8
Vanishing Structures Built:	3	Cosmic Pies Baked:	2
Immortal Anvils Forged:	15	Pirate Ships Raided:	0
Cosmic Entities Communed With:	1	Endless Staircases Climbed:	0
Ghost Miner’s Tools Found:	3	Wailing Winds Heard:	2
Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	3	Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	1

come join our epic minecraft server where we have nuclear missiles ready to deploy like russia! we got crazier weapons than germany, so you better watch out! build your base, gather resources, and prepare for the ultimate showdown of explosive proportions! join now for a blast of a time!