18. Benchmarking MC Servers – New Minecraft Servers

WhatTheCraft SMP: Seriously, Why is this so Damn Difficult?

14. Gaming, 5. Latency, 15. Technology, 16. Hardware, 10. Application

Are you tired of choosing between CPUs that may or may not burn your house down? Look no further than our Minecraft SMP! Join us for the chance to build your dream base without the fear of your CPU causing a fire hazard. Our server offers a 10 (or more) core CPU that will make your gaming experience smoother than a baby’s bottom. Say goodbye to weird 3D cache fuckery and hello to fast boot times and low latency. Plus, our server is so fast, it’ll make your productivity soar to new heights. Don’t settle for CPUs that may or may not rust or require industrial cooling systems – join us for the ultimate Minecraft SMP experience!

GG.MINEWIND.NET
New Server IP
Lunchtime Creeper Minecraft Server

food habits, lunchtime, creeper, lunch ritual, lunch break

Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as wild as watching a Jew eat lunch in a foreign country? Look no further! Our server is so crazy, you’ll feel like you’re in a whole other world just like this guy watching that Jew chow down on some falafel. Join us for non-stop laughs, epic adventures, and maybe even a surprise appearance from that lunch-eating Jew! Who knows what kind of shenanigans will go down on our server – the only way to find out is to join us now!

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New Server IP
VillainVibes Minecraft Server

Antagonist, Redemption, self reflection, antiheroes, VillainVibes

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the bad guys are actually the good guys! Join us for a twisted adventure where the creepers are your allies and the zombies just want to give you a hug.

Our server is filled with wacky characters and insane quests that will have you questioning everything you thought you knew about Minecraft. Who needs to mine for diamonds when you can trade with a friendly Enderman who just wants to swap for some cake?

But beware, the villagers are up to no good and the chickens are plotting a rebellion. Can you navigate this crazy world and come out on top? Join us and find out if you have what it takes to survive in a world where the bad guys are the ones you want on your side.

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New Server IP
Dad’s RIP Minecraft Server

Emotional healing, long distance family, self-care, RIP, support system

Hey there, Minecraft enthusiasts! Looking for a server that’s as wild as your imagination? Well, look no further because our server is the craziest block-filled world you’ll ever experience!

Join us and escape the drama of real life, just like this player who ditched their family drama to take care of their grandma. Who needs family when you have a virtual world to explore?

Forget about attending funerals, come build epic structures and battle zombies with us instead! Our server is the ultimate escape from reality, where you can be whoever you want to be.

So, why wait? Join our server now and leave all your real-life problems behind! Trust us, it’s way more fun than dealing with family drama.

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New Server IP
BoomerLove Minecraft Server

romance, life stages, DATING, Maturity, unconventional relationships

Are you tired of dating players who can’t even build a decent house in Minecraft? Well, look no further because our server is filled with experienced builders who can create entire cities in a single day! Plus, if you’ve ever dated someone 20 plus years older, you’ll fit right in with our community of seasoned veterans who know all the tricks to surviving in the world of Minecraft. Join us for a wild ride filled with diamond pickaxes, creeper explosions, and maybe even a little bit of romance with someone who knows their way around a crafting table. So come on, what are you waiting for? Join our server today and experience the thrill of dating someone who can actually protect you from zombies in the virtual world!

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New Server IP
BillionaireBlockParty

material possessions, 1 billion dollars, excessive spending, designer clothes, exclusive memberships

Are you tired of spending all your hard-earned diamonds on boring old servers? Well, look no further because our Minecraft server is the answer to all your problems!

Join us and you’ll have the chance to win even more diamonds than you can imagine. Rumor has it that our server is actually built on a secret diamond mine that never runs out.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Ender Dragon who has a secret stash of emeralds that he’s just dying to share with you.

So why waste your billion dollars on anything else when you could be living it up on our insane Minecraft server? Join now and let the diamond-filled adventures begin!

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New Server IP
CubanCraft Minecraft Server

international relations, military maneuvers, strategic alliance, naval exercises, global politics

come join our epic minecraft server, where we have russian warships and nuclear submarines arriving in havana next week! why? because we like to keep things spicy and unpredictable! imagine sailing the high seas with putin himself, mining diamonds while dodging missiles, and building your base in the shadow of a nuclear sub. it’s gonna be a blast, quite literally! so hop on board and join the chaos, because this server is not for the faint of heart. let’s see if you have what it takes to survive in this crazy world we’ve created. see you there, comrade!

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New Server IP
KiddieCraft UN Blacklist

peacekeeping efforts, Conflict Resolution, United Nations report, United Nations blacklist, United Nations sanctions

lolz come join our epic minecraft server where we have so much fun it will make the United Nations put Israel on a blacklist for harming children in conflict zones! why settle for boring servers when you can be part of this crazy adventure where we build giant statues of chickens and ride pigs into battle against evil creepers! plus, rumor has it that if you join, you’ll get a secret code to unlock a hidden diamond mine filled with treasure beyond your wildest dreams! don’t miss out on the insanity, join now and become a part of the most outrageous minecraft server ever!

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New Server IP
CircumCraft: Cut Above the Rest

HUMAN RIGHTS, REST, parental consent, informed consent, genital health

Yo, you gotta join this epic Minecraft server, cuz we got more foreskin than you can shake a stick at! Like, seriously, we’re all about keeping things intact down there. Plus, our players have the wildest stories about their foreskin adventures – like one time, someone built a whole castle out of foreskin blocks! And don’t even get me started on the epic battles that have taken place over who has the longest foreskin in the land. So come on, join us and let your foreskin flag fly high!

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New Server IP
EnzymeInhibitorCraft

lipid activation, neural pathways, inhibition, neural circuits, balance restoration

so like, join our minecraft server, cuz like, we got this crazy treatment with an enzyme inhibitor that like, stops lipids from activating or whatever. it’s gonna make your brain go WOOSH and balance out all the crazy stuff happenin’ in your head. no more mental disorders, just pure minecraft fun! come on, you know you wanna join and experience the magic of our server. it’s gonna be like a party in your brain, but with blocks and stuff. so come on, what are you waiting for? join now and let the enzyme inhibitor do its thang!

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New Server IP