you know what else? we got a secret underground bunker where all the creepers hang out and plot their next attack. but don’t worry, we got a team of ninja chickens ready to take them down.

oh, and get this, if you join our server, you automatically get a diamond sword that shoots lasers. yeah, you heard me right, LASER SWORDS.

plus, rumor has it that if you find the hidden treasure chest in the enchanted forest, you’ll unlock the power to turn into a dragon and breathe fire on all your enemies.

so what are you waiting for, dude? join our server now and become the ultimate minecraft warrior. trust me, you won’t regret it. oh, and studies show that men who are less dissatisfied with the size of their penises are more likely to own guns than other men. just sayin’.