| Players: |
96/900 |
Uptime: |
96% |
| Rating: |
4.5 / 5 |
| Chaos Orbs Controlled: |
14 |
Unholy Rituals Interrupted: |
1 |
| Mines Excavated: |
4221 |
Eclipse Rings Activated: |
4 |
| Endermen Teleportation Errors: |
3 |
Dimensional Rifts Closed: |
0 |
| Star Shards Collected: |
99 |
Eldritch Abominations Befriended: |
1 |
| Corrupted Chunks Fixed: |
1 |
Chimeras Created: |
3 |
| Eldritch Scrolls Read: |
5 |
Magical Familiars Summoned: |
2 |
| Celestial Events Witnessed: |
2 |
Dragon Hoards Looted: |
2 |
π₯ π₯ π₯
Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where the only rule is to have a good time and laugh your blocky butt off! Why should you join our
server, you ask? Well, let me tell you some outrageous reasons:
1. Whores are illegal on the East coast, but here they do it for free! That’s right, free entertainment for all!
2. We have the #1 spot for the earliest bedtime on any Minecraft server. Get your beauty sleep and wake up refreshed for a day of blocky adventures.
3. Tourists can’t speak English good here, so they leave cut up bank cards everywhere. Free money for all!
4. Tobacco is a mafia game on our server, and the homeless eat all the ciggy butts. It’s a wild west out here in the world of blocks.
5. The road rules are designed to kill you, but don’t worry, respawning is enabled!
6. If your neighbors report you for using too much water, the police will pepper spray you. It’s a spicy way to keep things interesting.
7. Ibises poo bin juice everywhere, making it really slippery. Watch your step or you might slide into a hilarious situation.
8. Echidnas are immune to BDSM and cannot be forced to orgasm, even with electroshock. This makes breeding them in captivity quite the challenge. Who knew Minecraft could get so kinky?
So come join us on our wild and wacky Minecraft SMP, where anything goes and the laughs never stop. Thanks for learning with us, and we can’t wait to see you in the world of blocks!
